AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

[OgdensGoneNutFlake]

Inspired by the "first ice cream" thread, I wondered whether anyone had any embarrassingly Precious First Born tales of their own?

None of mine are particularly memorable at this moment, but essentially my second born has had a lot more chocolate, late nights, gopping nappies and soil-eating than my little angelic PFB ever did (and he's altogether happier for it!)

Tory Britain

I boiled bottles and nipples for over a YEAR, until I found PFB happily ingesting a dead bug he'd found. Put an end to THAT nonsense, and the extra protein didn't seem to cause any harm.

I planted a forest of blackcurrant bushes and made my own (low sugar and organic) Ribena.

Called the GP out (it was a long time ago) when 10 day old DS was snuffly. While GP was there, DS sneezed and the most enormous bogey came shooting out of one nostril.

@Nitflux

Me and my husband were both off work when our baby was born so we did the night in shifts to make sure one of us was awake at all times. We did this for 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS, people. Seems absolutely mental now and was obviously totally unnecessary 😂

We did this! She mostly slept whilst we sat up like lunatics 🙈😂

I don't think I had any moments really. I've tried to think of some and grilled my very frank and brutally honest child free friend and she agrees. I put it down to working with children and babies for years before having my own and DS1 being incredibly poorly (in NICU and nearly didn't make it poorly) when born which possibly just wrung out any day to day anxiety from me I don't know! Or I just have a cold black heart but sometimes I'm uncomfortably aware of not being as affected by things like first day of school etc! The one thing I do remember was getting upset when we got him home that his skin tone looked weird before realising that we'd never seen him under normal lights as his little life up to that point had been under fluorescent hospital lights so I talked myself out of calling the maternity ward for advice about 'weird skin'

My exh however....this week both kids have had a nasty cold and temps of about 39. DS1 is 8 and exh wanted me to take him to a&e. Despite DS1 chatting away to him on the phone and chewing his ear off about minecraft. But nope, a temperature of 39 at 8 years old is clearly an emergency situation. The 6 year old had the same temperature but weirdly that didn't seem to require a hospital visit

When my friend had her first child she was very very protective.

She was exhausted too and I had offered to mine the child one Saturday morning when her husband was away so she could sleep.

The night before she proceeded to send me the biggest list of things to remember before I came over to ensure I didn't harm the baby.

I can't remember it all but some of the things of the list include wearing sensible shoes so I wouldn't fall with the baby in my arms, no jeans as they were too rough for baby's skin, no perfume, no nail varnish, tie my hair up and to make sure I put my phone on silence so not to disturb the child and to make sure I was on time,not to ring the door bell or knock on the door!!!!

She wasn't joking!

@SquirrelFan

Called the hospital when my newborn went limp and unresponsive whilst breastfeeding...he was asleep. I didn't know they fell asleep during a feed!

Oh bless you!

@NeverChange

When my friend had her first child she was very very protective.

She was exhausted too and I had offered to mine the child one Saturday morning when her husband was away so she could sleep.

The night before she proceeded to send me the biggest list of things to remember before I came over to ensure I didn't harm the baby.

I can't remember it all but some of the things of the list include wearing sensible shoes so I wouldn't fall with the baby in my arms, no jeans as they were too rough for baby's skin, no perfume, no nail varnish, tie my hair up and to make sure I put my phone on silence so not to disturb the child and to make sure I was on time,not to ring the door bell or knock on the door!!!!

She wasn't joking!

I look back and cringe but apart from the jeans and shoes I'd probably have said similar 😳😳 especially perfume, which I asked people not to wear and didn't wear myself for a full year 😂

Not allowing a tiny bit of sun on my PFB as a baby. I would cross over to the non- sunny side of the street and faff with the sun shade constantly. I was scared he would have super sensitive to sun skin like his dad but luckily he (and his sister) doesn't.
When PFB was a toddler we went over for lunch to a mum's from toddler group. She made the toddlers sandwiches, veg sticks and a small handful of Quavers on each plate. I had never given my PFB crisps - I quickly ate them myself when she wasn't looking!
At PFB's 3rd birthday I made frozen plain Greek yogurt like I made for him instead of ice cream. None of the other kids liked it!!

@SouperNoodle

I emailed CBeebies and asked them to stop showing Bot and the Beasties as my PFB was scared of it 😂

😂

@crumpet

There was a very good thread about this years ago, which might be in classics. One which I remember was a poster who did a practice flight from somewhere like London to Manchester in advance of PFB’s first holiday 😄

Truly amazing! 😂

I wouldn't change my ds1 on the changing mat on the floor because I thought someone would stand on his head. Who I thought would, I can't imagine as most days it was just me and ds in the house.

In some ways I was quite relaxed. I never warmed a single bottle. DC mostly breastfed but any expressed milk/formula was straight from the fridge, which everyone found odd. DC still likes their milk cold! DC was born with relatively good head control so I was always a bit terrified of holding other people's babies as they were quite floppy in comparison and I didn't want to hurt them.

One moment I can think of is reading the Gingerbread Man, which was a favourite when DC was about 3, and skipping over the bit where the fox eats the gingerbread man in case DC was emotionally damaged. It turned out that DH did not skip over that bit when he read the book and our DC found it very funny .

@Flittingaboutagain

Me and my husband were both off work when our baby was born so we did the night in shifts to make sure one of us was awake at all times. We did this for 6 weeks. SIX WEEKS, people. Seems absolutely mental now and was obviously totally unnecessary 😂

^ I wish it had been unnecessary here. Baby was prem and with a respiratory condition so we had to take it turns for months! Thankfully getting better now so we're catching up

Mine was covering her eyes with my hand whilst telling my husband to turn off the news that was on for 10 seconds because I intend to follow the WHO and not let her watch TV until two. Still do, but those few seconds were massive over reaction and she was trying to peer round my hands wondering what the fuck

Fair play to you, but I'd never get anything done I'd I didn't plonk my daughter in front of the TV every now and again.

Refusing to allow the blinds to be open in our hospital room for days in case it hurt her eyes. Refusing to let them give her a vitamin K shot and insisting on drops instead. The list is endless …. 🤦🏼‍♀️

@AliasGrape

I remember reading one of the other PFN threads when DD was about 6 months or something and getting upset/ worrying I wasn’t a good enough mum because Id never thought to squirt shampoo in my own eye or get under the pram rain cover to check it really was waterproof so clearly wasn’t PFB enough.

Which now I’m a little bit out of the fog I can see is a whole PFB moment all of its own.

I definitely remember feeling sorry for the other mums that their babies were all slightly rubbish compared to mine.

And I know I was slightly smug (only every inwardly) at how I’d got weaning right and my baby ate so well including a wide range of vegetables. I actually made a video montage of the initial two weeks of ‘first tastes’ veg led weaning AND SHARED IT WITH PEOPLE AS IF THEY’D CARE. Getting on for 2 now and the list of food she will no longer tolerate in her presence let alone put in her mouth gets longer every day, so I’m definitely getting my comeuppance there!

I'm literally reading this thread and thinking the same thing 😳

I had forgotten about being utterly convinced going over cobbles in the pram would cause brain damage.. We had cobbles near our house that we couldn't really avoid so for the first 2 trips out we had to take the bassinet off the pram and walk with it to the end of the cobbles and DH had to go back for the base. I was also too scared to take DS out of the bassinet to carry him because I had been warned so many times to be careful of lifting him in hospital. I only now realise they probably meant to be careful for me post-birth, not for him but I was utterly convinced they were worried about me dropping him and I carried him around like he was made of glass and only really did cuddles when sitting down.

We also had a random faulty fire alarm that kept going off in our flat and I remember strapping DS into his car seat and lugging him down 5 floors (about 4 weeks after giving birth) because I thought he might be joggled too much in my arms or I would drop him on the stairs.

actual screamed "shoot me,save the baby" then blackt out
...for dramatic effect.
in hozi(ds1=26) he sneezed. i buzz buzz buzzed the nurse buzzer n said..."it sneezed"(popular as ever aye)
was pre-ev one has mobile phone/we didni even have a landline.
id already barred my ma "unless invited//ano,i was horrible//)pramed "it"to nearest payphone... n said.."ma,see how babys wear hats?is it ...like..all the time?even in their own house"

I refused to share a changing mat when DD was teeny and my friend had an equally teeny baby because of "the poo particles" that could affect her immune system. I used my travel one which I think was still in the car so a hassle and my friend still thinks I'm crazy.

Crawled in and out of baby's room to check on her sleeping in her cot to ensure I wouldn't disturb her by walking in

I was very concerned my DS would suffer shaken baby syndrome if the pram was too bumpy.

I also hit my elbow a number of times against a wall to check how hard it was as he once knocked his head on it.

@Aaaabbbcccc

Pre birth but I emailed a nasa scientist because I was worried I had been exposed to a solar flare when in a plane. Read too many academic journals., the lovely scientist (an older man) very kindly reassured me and explained the science to me. I will never forget that.

You win the thread.

Please tell me you printed it out and it hangs in a frame on your wall.

@SouperNoodle

I emailed CBeebies and asked them to stop showing Bot and the Beasties as my PFB was scared of it 😂

😂😂😂