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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask your most ridiculous PFB moment...

333 replies

OgdensGoneNutFlake · 07/04/2022 20:05

Inspired by the "first ice cream" thread, I wondered whether anyone had any embarrassingly Precious First Born tales of their own?

None of mine are particularly memorable at this moment, but essentially my second born has had a lot more chocolate, late nights, gopping nappies and soil-eating than my little angelic PFB ever did (and he's altogether happier for it!)

OP posts:
2ndMrsdeWinter · 07/04/2022 22:52

Shouted at the midwife “get that hat off my baby, it doesn’t match her baby grow” when they plonked a peach knitted hat on her head as soon as she left my womb. Mortified Blush

GrandTheftWalrus · 07/04/2022 22:53

I remember reading one on a thread here that a parent squirted "no more tears" shampoo into their own eyes to make sure it was no more tears lol.

I also remember when my 1st born threw herself out her cot I was panicking etc that she'd broken something and got dh to lower the cot immediately etc. My 2nd born done it as well but we heard the thud and her crying so I went upstairs and it was just "yep she's out her cot"

Hamilfan · 07/04/2022 22:59

I've said this before under a different username (my pFB is now nearly 17!) however, when he was about 6 weeks old or so he was sitting in his little bouncer chair, and I put a little plastic fish rattle in his tiny fist to get some sensory play.

Obviously, he flapped his arms about and bashed himself on the head with it and started crying. Fair enough, was a shock to him and understandable.

What wasn't understandable was the horror DH and I felt at the thought of our poor PFB bashing his own skull in with a baby toy, and we actually TOOK IT IN TURNS to hit ourselves Over the head with the rattle to see how sore it was and whether we needed to call an ambulance Blush

I thank god every day that we didn't actually phone 999

tillytoodles1 · 07/04/2022 23:03

At my pfb's 1st birthday party, all the kids had the usual party food, but he was in his highchair with everything sterilised and I fed him baby food and water.

justjuggling · 07/04/2022 23:05

I kept a diary FOR SIX MONTHS of my PFB’s every feed and every poo. Was pretty detailed too, including shade/consistency of poo. It seemed really sensible at the time!

mscynical · 07/04/2022 23:06

Second day out of hospital with first born and health visitor came round to check on us. I asked her when I would be able to take baby out in the pram. She asked why I was asking that as I could take baby out now if I wanted. I replied 'I am worried she will get mange as you can't take puppies out when they are so young'
Am blushing even writing this out and it was over 25 years ago Blush
Do humans even get mange? Why did I ask that? Bet she had a right laugh back in the office with the other HVs.

AnyCakeButBattenburg · 07/04/2022 23:06

With my 1st baby, we put the heating on when we came home from hospital with him, so that he'd be warm enough - it was July.

FrightorFlight · 07/04/2022 23:07

@Strokethefurrywall

I was far more relaxed with DS1 than I was with DS2. My maternal instinct to keep him close was totally primal and overwhelming. The day we brought him home my friend was over for a cuddle and when she left he smelt like her perfume. I burst into tears and had to give him a bath.

That was probably the most PFB thing I did, I was pretty relaxed about everything else.

I happened to bump into my next door neighbour when her baby was a week old. She invited me in and as she went to pass the baby to me I spun my t-shirt around so it was back to front just in case I had put perfume on the t-shirt. If I go to see a new baby I purposefully don't wear scent because I hated it when my babies smelt like not me!
Worriedandconfused23 · 07/04/2022 23:07

I thought I was really relaxed at the time but looking back I wasn't at all.

I actually took fb to the GP as he had what I thought was too many creases on one of his legs and I decided he must have hip dysplasia. The elderly very nice doctor pointed out he was just a huge very chubby baby.

He rolled off the sofa once to my utter horror, I rang dh in tears and he was concerned until he heard our son laughing in the background playing with his toys. I was still worried though in case the bang had made him delirious so I googled how to do observations and checked on him EVERY 20 MINUTES ALL NIGHT. I even wrote down his breathing rate, pupil reaction etc just in case we took him to hospital. The shame !

FrightorFlight · 07/04/2022 23:11

Not sure if it's a pfb moment as such because he did it with all three but Dh used to insist on the Moses basket being on his side of the bed so he could wake and pass the baby to me when it needed a feed. I think he felt like it would be helpful if he was also awake but he would invariably sleep through the wake up I spike either have to wake him or get up and walk round the bed to get the, by then, cross baby!

HELLITHURT · 07/04/2022 23:12

@SouperNoodle

I emailed CBeebies and asked them to stop showing Bot and the Beasties as my PFB was scared of it 😂
Oh my goodness. Bless you!
DarkShade · 07/04/2022 23:20

@Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese

I got upset that ds first seaside visit was with my aunt not me. But then dh put it into prospective by saying "but it's her first trip with him, you still get your first trip too noone can take that off you"
Your DH is a genius!
Aaaabbbcccc · 07/04/2022 23:22

Made crap loads of food from the holly willoughby book (which is actually v good) but I got obsessed. Now she only wants pasta.

Aaaabbbcccc · 07/04/2022 23:24

Pre birth but I emailed a nasa scientist because I was worried I had been exposed to a solar flare when in a plane. Read too many academic journals., the lovely scientist (an older man) very kindly reassured me and explained the science to me. I will never forget that.

Teenagehorrorbag · 07/04/2022 23:33

I think I had the opposite - at least according to MIL.....Grin

I had preemie twins, and they became used to a routine in NICU before we could take them home after a few weeks. Milk was room temp as NICU don't have the resources to warm it on demand, and they had set 4 hourly feeds. They told me to stick to this, and I did - it was wonderful as they were all trained up! DS had a dummy for the first few months so I could stall him until feed time, then do both together.

MIL was horrified that I didn't warm the milk enough - it was room temp rather than body temp. If we went out with the buggy then 'room temp' might even be a bit cool, and she thought I was the worst parent ever. However, the hospital had assured me that was fine so I was just following their recommendations.

Clearly I failed her PFB expectations on that score - but probably did pass on other issues. DTs are 14 now so it's hard to remember......Grin.

Puffalicious · 07/04/2022 23:37

PFB is now almost 18. I've always been a bit of a slap-daah, seat of my pants kind of person, including my driving. The first 3 months DS was in the car with me I drove at 20 miles an hour and got angry saying loudly 'Whoaaa' every time a car was neaby me! PFB is having driving lessons right now and I'm reliving this, saying 'If anyone cones near you on the road glower at them'

He just looks at me, flicks his uber-cool hair and talks about the next gig he's off to.Grin

Teenagehorrorbag · 07/04/2022 23:40

@tillytoodles1

At my pfb's 1st birthday party, all the kids had the usual party food, but he was in his highchair with everything sterilised and I fed him baby food and water.
Oh poor PFB - didn't he want the party food? Did other parents say anything........Smile
medicmummm · 07/04/2022 23:41

DC1 is still PFB ..

First tried a pot noodle at age 10 (hadn’t seen one before- thanks nan)

Had first fizzy drink at a wedding (age 8) - still asks to go to weddings as everyone knows it’s the only place to get a fizzy drink Wink

Shhhhh-big everyone when he was sleeping … the disapproval of the noises some people make when out and about Blush

medicmummm · 07/04/2022 23:48

Friend took baby to the GP once worried about blue lines on her PFB’s head when he cried…

….. veins Grin

EliyanahM · 07/04/2022 23:50

My first baby was incubated (born early at 26 weeks) and I was watching the NICU nurse trying to pull the tray out to access the baby, but the tray was stuck and I watched as she jiggled it a bit, then a bit more, all while my PFB was on the tray, and I shot up and declared that if she keeps shaking the tray she is going to give my baby brain damage! And she was mortified and I felt awful. But yeah, she jiggled my 2lb baby and I guess it was all white traumatic and anxiety causing.

Tubs11 · 07/04/2022 23:55

Regimented naps and feeding time for PFB, others lucky if I remembered to feed or put down for nap

aldilemonade · 08/04/2022 00:01

@ifyouturnonthelight Yes they did very gently.
Tbf it was 3 days after giving birth i was very tired in pain and very hormonal and only 19.
I've had more children since and never felt anything like i did that day.
Lots of other Pfb things though Grin

Cheeseandlobster · 08/04/2022 00:05

@Aaaabbbcccc

Pre birth but I emailed a nasa scientist because I was worried I had been exposed to a solar flare when in a plane. Read too many academic journals., the lovely scientist (an older man) very kindly reassured me and explained the science to me. I will never forget that.
This is excellent. What a lovely kind man Smile
bumbledeedum · 08/04/2022 00:07

@Hoppinggreen

I have told this story on here before and other people have mentioned it as well. I had read that in order to make sure your baby was warm enough when you went out but not too hot they should be wearing one more layer than you. I got us both ready to go for a walk and realised we were wearing the amount of layer so I did the obvious thing. I took off one of my layers - made perfect sense at the time!!
I have seen this repeated over the years by several posters, I feel almost honoured to see it first hand Grin
Blogblogblogblog · 08/04/2022 00:10

@Hamilfan

I've said this before under a different username (my pFB is now nearly 17!) however, when he was about 6 weeks old or so he was sitting in his little bouncer chair, and I put a little plastic fish rattle in his tiny fist to get some sensory play.

Obviously, he flapped his arms about and bashed himself on the head with it and started crying. Fair enough, was a shock to him and understandable.

What wasn't understandable was the horror DH and I felt at the thought of our poor PFB bashing his own skull in with a baby toy, and we actually TOOK IT IN TURNS to hit ourselves Over the head with the rattle to see how sore it was and whether we needed to call an ambulance Blush

I thank god every day that we didn't actually phone 999

I just laughed so hard I choked and Dh asked if I was alright! Grin