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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you remember your childs firsts?

75 replies

Glasstabletop · 07/04/2022 09:44

Inspired by another thread but only because its the latest in a number of "missed babys first X" posts which has got me thinking...

My kids are adults now (only just) and I basically remember none of their firsts. I remember how old they were when they took their first steps and what their first word was but I don't actually remember the events even though I was there for all of them.

I do remember the first time eldest got the hang of walking and was going as fast as he could giggling with sheer delight and I remember the first time youngest said a swear word because his great grandma taught it to him! I remember lots of moments like that (although not as many with youngest, TBH that was all just a bit of a blur) ... but their "firsts"... nope...

I just don't think it was that memorable to be honest, those things tend to be a bit ill-defined. Like they sofa walk and kind of take a step and it just evolves from that. Or they babble and kind of say mama but you cant be sure its intentional and then one day it clearly is, but you cant pick which bit of babble was the true first word. I think this is partly why I don't remember and it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I just wondered if this was just me?

OP posts:

RagzRebooted · 07/04/2022 11:47

I have had 3 DCs, but if you asked me what age babies start getting teeth or crawling, I could not tell you. I did have them all in 4 years, so a bit of a blur. DH remembers more than I do, but I definitely don't remember specific firsts, just snatches of things.
I have a shite memory though!

MrsAvocet · 07/04/2022 11:52

A few, but only the big ones like walking, and to be perfectly honest, only for the first child. I documented things fairly diligently for the first year or so of number 1's life but then it tailed off and by number 3 I didn't even have a "baby book". Or maybe someone did give me one, but I never wrote in it and think I gave it to a charity shop during a clear out. Child 3 is no less loved than 1 or 2, but by then I didn't have time for recording details which to br frank, seemed important once but I now see as trivial.

StarlingsInTheRoof · 07/04/2022 12:45

I don't remember when the firsts were. I was at work for ds1 walking, but was there for ds2. To be honest half the time I get their names mixed up, let alone things that happened a few years ago! I do know that both of their first clear sounds were dada, not mama. Rather miffed when it was me doing most of the looking after them!

Vanillaradio · 07/04/2022 12:50

Some of it. Only got the one dc though. I remember his first word really clearly- "duck" when he found it in a book and his first couple of wobbly steps on his own from me to my mum (first ones I saw anyway- he might well have done it at nursery already!) Crawling, first tooth, first roll over etc I have no idea!

Fairislefandango · 07/04/2022 13:34

Nope. Mine are teens now, and tbh I don't remember 'firsts' being such a thing tbh. I guess social media has ramped it up. I mean, there are the big ones like first steps, first words, and things they actually achieve like learning to ride a bike. But first hamburger, first time on a bus, first haircut... nope.

Ravenglass83 · 07/04/2022 15:10

@Favourodds pleased you said that about not being able to remember how they felt in your arms when tiny! I keep wanting to pick up something that's the same weight mine was just to try and remember. Yes indeed to the big sleepy blur bit too.

DrDiva · 07/04/2022 15:13

I remember the first step as we were in another country in a hotel, and the owner was delighted that it had happened in her place!
I also remember the first real smile, because DS was prem and it was a long time through hell before he looked at me and gave that smile of pure recognition.

Doidontimmm · 07/04/2022 15:16

I remember none of them for either (18 & 21) except my eldest first ice cream lol and only because we were on a very memorable overseas holiday!

PermanentTemporary · 07/04/2022 15:17

I do remember first smile, first walk, first word but I only have one kid. No other firsts to speak of.

takingmytimeonmyride · 07/04/2022 15:20

I remember my PFB's first steps as they were at my friends house, and our kids are the same age. I also remember his first words. I diligently wrote everything in his red book. I still have it, he's 23 now.

I remember my 2nd born's first words because he spoke once at 13 months, then never again till he was 5, as he is autistic and has learning disabilities, so it was a massive thing when he finally said a few words, and said Mum. 🥲

The next 3 all learned to walk and talk, hooray! 😂 Youngest was a late walker, 21 months, so I remember that.

Other firsts I wasn't particularly bothered about - weaning and that stuff was just something I did and didn't really make a fuss of. Apart from the youngest trying his first food on Christmas Day because that was when he was 6 months old, so I thought it would be a good day to start - mmmm Christmas Dinner!

GreyhoundGardens · 07/04/2022 15:21

Ah, this thread has made me feel much better. I was given a pack of baby milestone cards with my first and I "failed" to use more than a handful of them. I still had the rest when DC2 was born and used none of them.

I remember some things. I remember DC1s first proper steps, as it happened in funny circumstances. I remember their first "proper" word. I remember when DC2 first sat up and crawled (as both took my by surprise!). Cannot remember DC2s first word though!

My kids are only 5 and 3, I have a terrible memory and have been very sleep deprived!!

TBH I have thousands of photos and lots of videos and they evoke such lovely memories, but not often about specific firsts, just general milestones and a lovely happy feeling of nostalgia. DC1 falling asleep eating an apple when they skipped a nap, DC2 wearing an Easter Egg box on their head which looked like a funny helmet. Those silly inconsequential little moments I think are often more important than "firsts" TBH.

MrsAvocet · 07/04/2022 15:32

I mean, there are the big ones like first steps, first words, and things they actually achieve like learning to ride a bike
I'm off to the Naughty Step then. I can't remember any of my children learning to ride a bike....and I'm a cycling coach! 😂 I could tell you when loads of kids in our club first rode independently but I have no clue about my own....whoops....

MirandaWest · 07/04/2022 15:39

I remember how old both DC were when they walked (helps it was at the same age for them both ).

No idea about first words. I did write down about 50 words DS could say at about 18 months but he was PFB and so there's nothing like that for DD .

Other than that I can't remember anything much. They are 18 and 16 now though.

SVRT19674 · 07/04/2022 15:49

No, not most, and she is 3.5 years old. I´m bound up with the present. I know she was 13 months when she started walking and nearly two when se started to speak intelligibly, I photographed when she picked up and held her first object (a pink hairbrush) but it would be hard to place anything else.

FromOurHatsToOurFeet · 07/04/2022 15:52

I have had to fill out a child developmental questionnaire with all of mine for an ASD assessment. DC1 had a fully filled out baby book, which was very useful. I did DC4's only by using photos! There's less than 6 years between them, there wasn't a lot of sleep but I did have a camera phone

TaraRhu · 07/04/2022 15:55

Lol mine are 3 and almost 1 and I can't even remember the little one's firsts! I know her first tooth as it came last week but I'll probably forget that soon!

I really regret not noting the words.

MuchTooTired · 07/04/2022 15:58

I remember when both my DTs took their first steps, and DS’s first word (mama) because he’d been trying to say it for so long due to speech delays. I don’t remember many others, and they’re only 4 😬

gogohm · 07/04/2022 15:59

Me too @Glasstabletop

Over time I also forget which child did what and when! All that matters is happy and healthy

FTEngineerM · 07/04/2022 16:01

This is hilarious considering “you’ll miss all the firsts, I want to be there for all the firsts” is spouted as a reason to stay chained to your child 24/7 and you will enjoy it whenever a mother wants to go back to work.

Natsku · 07/04/2022 16:11

I have an 11 year old and a 4 year old, I can vividly remember their first steps (the oldest one's were captured on camera which of course makes it easier to remember, the youngest's wasn't but it was on the day me and DD went to the circus, came home and he was walking so sticks in my memory). Memories of first words though are vague and no idea about other firsts. I do remember the first time DD rode a bike without stabilisers, that stuck in my head because my phone fell out of my pocket when I was chasing after her and it broke!

Simonjt · 07/04/2022 16:44

Most I think, but hes only 6, plus I missed the first 18 months of milestones so that made the ones I was there for more special.

My daughter yes, but shes only four months!

Wandamakesporridge · 07/04/2022 20:03

A lot of the firsts (words, steps etc) are a blur. I know DD1s first steps but only because it’s on video otherwise I would have forgotten.

However I have a confession that for for DD1 (my PFB!) I had a notebook and documented the first year of her life including all the first foods she tried …
Anyway you can guess what happened next, she grew into a toddler, I had barely time to go to the loo let alone sit and write a journal! Then I got pregnant again, and since then life has been a bit of a blur!

I can’t bear to read the diary now, it’s quite cringy. Looking back I wish I had just chilled out a bit and not been so anxious about what she was eating.

By the time I had my third child, a lot of the stuff I worried about went out the window, just because I didn’t have the time! DD2 ate pretty much what we ate and I wish I’d had the confidence to be that relaxed with DD1.
And I don’t think I have been a worse mum for DD2 than DD1 !

WhereHasSpringSprungTo · 07/04/2022 20:04

Some of them however have them all written down for each child in a book in their keepsake boxes.

Original poster

Glasstabletop · 07/04/2022 20:54

@FTEngineerM

Indeed, and I was a SAHM for my oldest, didn't help me remember in the slightest. I certainly wasn't filled with joy experiencing them or I would have remembered.

OP posts:

LaWench · 07/04/2022 20:59

I don't remember when but I remember DDs first word was Tosser as she'd copied me .

But I remember the first steps we around 18m to 2 yrs, I had lazy babies. Tbh it's all a blur.

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