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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s odd that Dfriend has no idea what’s happening in the news

128 replies

Rightlessmore · 07/04/2022 09:36

Spoke to Dfriend and I mentioned how awful things are in Ukraine. I was surprised when she asked what I meant and it turned out she had absolutely no idea what was happening. This made me wonder how normal this is. To me it seems unavoidable as the information is everywhere, but maybe that’s just my life. I just can’t see how you can’t not know what’s going on and my teenage DC know too. I assumed everyone kind of knows what’s going on in the world at any given time. This Dfriend did seem misinformed regarding coronavirus too and now I can see why. I’m not criticising her - she’s great, but is this common?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rightlessmore · 07/04/2022 15:11

I totally get not watching the news 24 hours a day but I always watch the headlines in the morning and as a family we listen to the news on Alexa when we have dinner. I think it’s important for my dc to know what’s going on in the world and have never shielded them. When I was telling my friend about what was happening in Ukraine last night, she made sure her teenage dd wasn’t in the same room. I found it utterly bizarre. From this I assume she never has the news on in the house or car.

OP posts:
crepesncream · 07/04/2022 15:13

It's odd because even if you don't watch the news or try and stop your kids from knowing what's going on, other people will surely talk about it.

Gladioli23 · 07/04/2022 15:18

So did she not know there was a war at all, or just the current particular atrocities? I can understand the latter sort of but not the former.

Saltyquiche · 07/04/2022 15:24

Some people do this because they feel overwhelmed.

Hotchox · 07/04/2022 15:29

I kinda get that there's plenty of ways to live in which total blackout ignorance of current affairs won't impact anything you do, so if someone prefers to live like that, it's churlish to demand they upset themselves daily with all the bad things going on in the world.

On the other hand, a disengaged and uninformed populace is ABSOLUTELY what corrupt, venal, kleptocratic, self-serving destroyers of countries thrive on when they get into power.

sayanythingelse · 07/04/2022 15:43

MIL is like this, I doubt she'll know about the situation in the Ukraine. She doesn't read or watch the news, doesn't work or use social media much. She keeps herself busy with her hobbies and has her head in the clouds most of the time.

Sometimes I think it must be nice to be so oblivious of how awful the world can be but it does mean she misses out on important information. She didn't know when masks became compulsory again, so she wasn't wearing one for a while until it clicked that everyone else was.

irregularegular · 07/04/2022 20:06

Totally off topic, but why "Dfriend"??? I kind of get "DH" as it is an abbreviation, though "H" would probably do. But "Dfriend"???!

(sorry, was bothering me...)

NurseBernard · 07/04/2022 21:25

People have different interests and some aren’t interested in world news. Doesn’t make them bad people.

Of course it doesn’t make them ‘bad’ people.

But what sort of conversation does someone like this have, other than talking about people they know, and maybe the weather? Celebs….? Their hobby?

NurseBernard · 07/04/2022 21:26

…and really agree @irregularegular Grin

JudgeJ · 07/04/2022 21:34

Many, many years ago, 60+, I had a friend home after school for tea. The following day she was saying how amazing my mother was because she had picked up the evening paper, looked at the first few pages and talked about a number of issues of the day, Friend had never seen her mother look at a newspaper, I suppose we need a vaiety of people.

ThreeRingCircus · 07/04/2022 21:42

@irregularegular

If it's true, that's really quite extreme! I find it hard to imagine what kind of interaction she must be having with the world (various forms of media, and other people) to really have NO idea what is going on in the Ukraine. Does it matter much? I'm not entirely sure. On the one hand, it is true that most people can't make much difference. On the other hand, it does say something about her interest in the outside world, about her care and concern for people beyond her immediate circle, which would put me off. And collectively, we do make a difference: we decide what to buy, where to invest, where to travel, how to vote, what to campaign for, what information to share.... I do wonder if people should pass some kind of current affairs knowledge test before they are allowed to vote (not really, not seriously, but....)
I agree with this really. I actively avoid watching the news at the moment, used to watch the 10pm news most nights but stopped a few weeks ago as the Ukraine news was making me anxious and extremely upset, especially any footage involving children. So I stepped completely away, I'm not particularly proud of that but nor am I ashamed.... I just needed to do it to protect myself.

However I still hear the headlines on the radio if I'm driving in the car, or see a newspaper headline in a shop, or something on social media so I'm not completely clueless at the moment. I find it amazing that she'd have had no idea at all what was going on in Ukraine.

NurseBernard · 07/04/2022 22:09

I’m going to get absolutely slammed for this comment, but here goes…

Being able to step away from the news because it triggers your anxiety is an unfathomable luxury.

Compared, that is, with the people actually living it - who not only can’t step away from hearing or reading about it, but can’t step away from it actually happening to them.

Yes, I’m sure I’ll get lots of comments along the lines of - why should we all suffer? Of course we shouldn’t. But nonetheless, you’re pretty lucky if your anxiety is only triggered by reading about it.

activas · 07/04/2022 22:12

I have a friend who is the same, she has no idea what is going on in the world. She might be different to your friend, she is completely wrapped up in her children and has nothing outside it. It's hard to have an normal conversation with her as it is so self absorbed with her talking at me. I've lost patience with it now.

Palloom · 07/04/2022 22:20

You don't have to watch wall to wall news to know what is going on. But to confess to knowing nothing about current affairs is a bit odd.

I don't watch TV at all, but I have subs to two good newspapers and check out the headlines first thing and get news alerts on apple watch during the day. Radio news is my go to when I want to go in depth. Sometimes (a lot...) I find that TV news can be sensationalised and can trigger anxiety and all sorts of emotions. I would only see TV news if tv is on in someone else's house though.

You can know a lot about what is going on without having to immerse yourself in every bullet, bomb and scandal. With due respect to those suffering immensely in Ukraine and all around the world in one way or another.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 07/04/2022 22:21

@NurseBernard

People have different interests and some aren’t interested in world news. Doesn’t make them bad people.

Of course it doesn’t make them ‘bad’ people.

But what sort of conversation does someone like this have, other than talking about people they know, and maybe the weather? Celebs….? Their hobby?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe their holidays, school, their kids, work, hobbies, pets, food, their plans for the weekend, what they're doing over the summer, what they did last weekend, music, books, films, TV shows, philosophy, nature, documentaries, true crime, underwater knitting or any of a million other topics of conversation Wink
Scarybutnecassary · 07/04/2022 22:23

I have always followed the news since I was a teenager. Having said that I have been avoiding watching the news recently because I literally lie awake at night worrying about the situation in Ukraine. I genuinely cannot bare to see the images of what is happening in real time …sickening.
I prefer to be doing practical stuff to help instead .
I do think though that it is strange that people lack any kind of interest in what is happening beyond their own four walls …very odd.

NurseBernard · 07/04/2022 22:45

Oh, I don't know. Maybe their holidays, school, their kids, work, hobbies, pets, food, their plans for the weekend, what they're doing over the summer, what they did last weekend, music, books, films, TV shows, philosophy, nature, documentaries, true crime, underwater knitting or any of a million other topics of conversation

Hmm, yes I imagine people who don’t follow the news, or who aren’t interested in what’s going on in the world, will be having conversations about philosophy. Or books, for that matter. Wink

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/04/2022 22:50

Having been following what’s happening in Ukraine pretty closely, I almost wish I was your friend and didn’t know.

RobertaFirmino · 07/04/2022 23:12

Didn't she even wonder what all the blue and yellow everywhere was for?

She does seem blinkered OP. You mention that she talks about her teenage children a lot. Is she one of those 'my little famalam' types? I presume she is not working either - surely Ukraine would have come up in conversation at some point.

What will she do when the DC fly the nest?

ThreeRingCircus · 08/04/2022 10:29

@NurseBernard

I’m going to get absolutely slammed for this comment, but here goes…

Being able to step away from the news because it triggers your anxiety is an unfathomable luxury.

Compared, that is, with the people actually living it - who not only can’t step away from hearing or reading about it, but can’t step away from it actually happening to them.

Yes, I’m sure I’ll get lots of comments along the lines of - why should we all suffer? Of course we shouldn’t. But nonetheless, you’re pretty lucky if your anxiety is only triggered by reading about it.

I wouldn't slam you for that comment. You are right. I am in an unbelievably privileged position to be able to step away from the news in order to protect my mental health. I acknowledge that, but am still going to do it.

As I said, I'm not completely oblivious..... I'll hear the news headlines on the radio. I've donated money to bother Unicef and the Red Cross Ukraine appeals. But I'm just not going to watch the news at the moment, I went down that anxiety spiral when Russia was making nuclear threats and I just can't do it at the moment. I understand that makes me privileged, I don't believe that it makes me a bad person or unsympathetic.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 08/04/2022 15:57

@NurseBernard

Oh, I don't know. Maybe their holidays, school, their kids, work, hobbies, pets, food, their plans for the weekend, what they're doing over the summer, what they did last weekend, music, books, films, TV shows, philosophy, nature, documentaries, true crime, underwater knitting or any of a million other topics of conversation

Hmm, yes I imagine people who don’t follow the news, or who aren’t interested in what’s going on in the world, will be having conversations about philosophy. Or books, for that matter. Wink

Why on earth wouldn't they?

How incredibly judgemental of you.

NurseBernard · 08/04/2022 16:47

Yes. It is judgmental of me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rummikub · 08/04/2022 17:00

[quote Rightlessmore]@Moonface123 I can definitely see where you’re coming from and I do turn off the news sometimes. But I don’t understand how you can literally not know anything about what’s going on in the world. I don’t know if it’s irresponsible to be that ignorant.[/quote]
It might be self preservation.

I didn’t watch/ listen to news for over a decade after 911. I found it too upsetting.

Since being on mn I have become much more informed and aware.

Does she have ability to critically think? I think that makes a difference. I wouldn’t judge her for not knowing.

Rummikub · 08/04/2022 17:05

Oh after seeing a pp
... I don’t read books anymore either.

I can still have an interesting discussion though about a range of things.

PuppyMonkey · 08/04/2022 17:29

My work colleague is like this, she never watches or reads the news (so is never aware what’s going on when it comes to stuff like covid). She never watches telly full stop. She isn’t on any social media.

She’s a pleasant, well educated woman, she’s got quite a senior role at work. I just find it… weird.. when the rest of us are chatting about Ukraine or Will Smith or why petrol is so expensive and she hasn’t got a clue, we’re having to explain what we’re on about all the time. I don’t know, each to their own. Bu it doesn’t half make her look dim sometimes.