To think it’s odd that Dfriend has no idea what’s happening in the news

[Rightlessmore]

Spoke to Dfriend and I mentioned how awful things are in Ukraine. I was surprised when she asked what I meant and it turned out she had absolutely no idea what was happening. This made me wonder how normal this is. To me it seems unavoidable as the information is everywhere, but maybe that’s just my life. I just can’t see how you can’t not know what’s going on and my teenage DC know too. I assumed everyone kind of knows what’s going on in the world at any given time. This Dfriend did seem misinformed regarding coronavirus too and now I can see why. I’m not criticising her - she’s great, but is this common?

I simply cannot bring myself to watch or read about Ukrain in detail - it is too upsetting. But I make sure I have a vague idea of the key highlights re state of things etc.

Personally, I would not ever see someone who was that oblivious in the same light again. Although, to be honest, it's unlikely that I'd have become friends with them in the first place. Me and my friends don't spend a lot of time discussing what's happening in the world specifically but as a PP said, it's disempowering not to know what's going on - eg I was approached recently by a possible client based in Russia. I have made a decision NOT to take on the work for moral reasons but also because I'm not clued up enough on how sanctions work and I don't want to get into a situation where I am accidentally breaching any rules.

How can you make decisions about your life if you have no idea what else is going on? Even if it's just within the UK - a basic understanding of politics helps to inform decision making re how you vote etc, for example.

@bumhug

Would the world be a better place with her knowing?

Does it help anyone if she knows the ins and outs of global affairs?

Would you feel better if she was laying in bed at night worrying about the state of the world?

I know something is going on but haven't seen a single news story or video and actively avoid photos and news stories about current affairs.

The only thing that will happen is that I will get myself into an anxious mess and my family will have to deal with that. It literally helps no one.

We donate money when we can afford it.

The world would be a better place of more people had an informed understanding of what is going on in the world, and participated in elections yes.

The situation in Ukraine isn't just about global affairs when you consider the effect it has on UK energy prices, taking in refugees etc.

How can things ever be improved if we just look away from problems all the time? Better to channel anxiety and worry into participation and ways of helping others no matter how small.

I think it's normal and common to not know much about what's in the news generally, I go through patches hardly ever seeing it.

But I'd be surprised she'd managed to avoid hearing about Ukraine, because that really has been everywhere.

I do avoid the news, quite often, because I find it makes me anxious. That includes the full gory details about Ukraine, because I have spent a lot of time there and have Ukrainian friends (thankfully safe) and I feel helpless beyond donating what I can afford.

However, not knowing anything about it at all is kind of astonishing.

I think there are a few people who need to step away from the news at times in order to protect their mental health. But for most of us, having some awareness does not lead to us living in a pit of misery and despair or a state of real anxiety.

This. Unless you have existing mental health problems, getting into a huge state of anxiety over things in the news which don't directly affect you is not a normal or proportionate reaction. If you have the right to vote, you have a responsibility to know at least a bit about what's going on in the world.

Maybe she doesn’t engage with the MSM and has alternative viewpoints on happenings and doesn’t want to get into a barney with you discussing things…

I have a friend like that. It started when she was pregnant and didn’t want to be kept updated on covid daily deaths etc cos stress bad for baby. I totally understand that. But her baby is one now, and she still won’t read any news, and shuts me down if I mention anything negative to her (interrupts me saying No No don’t tell me). Is covinced covid is “just a cold” and so won’t have vaccine. Doesn’t want any info that might show covid is not a cold.

What annoys me is that her husband has strong political opinions, think Nigel Farage type voter, and she absorbs all his opinions and votes how he tells her. Despite having literally no idea what is going on in world.

As a member of a species whose main skills are intelligence and communication, choosing ignorance over knowledge is a somewhat dubious choice.

Priding yourself of choosing ignorance over knowledge is an even more dubious choice (the "oh, I was/am hopeless at maths, ah ah!" crowd)

And holding very strong opinions despite (or perhaps because?) of your ignorance is the most dubious choice of all.

Avoiding constant doom scrolling is one thing. Disconnecting from the world entirely is another. There is a healthier middle ground.

Unless there's some kind of MH issue at play, I think it's pretty crap not to be interested in the world outside your bubble. How on Earth can you set your DC a decent example if your awareness doesn't extend beyond your own front door?

I imagine this kind of person are perfectly happy to complain when things don't go their way/they can't go on holiday/the government makes a law that they don't agree with. It's batshit. If you don't keep yourself at least reasonably informed, how will you cast an informed vote, how will you make the world even a slightly better place than when you entered it?

*I know something is going on but haven't seen a single news story or video and actively avoid photos and news stories about current affairs.

The only thing that will happen is that I will get myself into an anxious mess and my family will have to deal with that. It literally helps no one.

We donate money when we can afford it.*

But how do people make sensible decisions about where to donate money if they have no idea (or very little idea) what is going on?

I avoid the rolling news/online newspapers. I'm an educated woman who has made that choice because I loathe 24 hour coverage and the bullshit speculation it inevitably contains. I don't need to see constant images of other people's distress, it feels voyeuristic and intrusive. It's only recently that we have had this kind of relentless barrage of news, and to me it's about ratings rather than anything useful. I need to know about certain topics for my work, and so I keep up with those, and I'll occasionally dip in to the headlines, but like others have said, I can't do anything about a lot of it. I have bad anxiety, which is probably a factor, but doomscrolling is NFM. I am anything but ignorant, believe me.

@Sharrowgirl

I wouldn’t have thought so and if I’m honest, it would put me off her a bit. Does she have no interest in the outside world?

I agree with this.

I understand people taking a step back from the news etc, but to literally have no awareness of it at all? I don’t even see how that’s possible.

I don’t watch, listen or look for the news and made a conscious effort not to from a couple of years ago. It’s never good news and generally I find that if something big happens someone will tell me. The main stream media is hardly independent, there have been events within the UK that been completely ignored and not to be found in the main stream news anywhere. It doesn’t mean I’m uneducated, I just may not find out about big events until a few days/weeks later and I will look further into them if I choose to.
The news is not something discussed at home and we all seem to have plenty of conversation, even with a teenager at home.

Avoiding the details sometimes, or taking short breaks from the news because it's so upsetting or anxiety-inducing? I understand that.

Scepticism about the media, whether because of clickbait or corruption within it? I understand that - but this is a reason to read more, to educate oneself to become media-literate, to work out which sources are trustworthy and which are not. Not to read less!

The attitude of "if it doesn't directly affect me/my family, I'm not interested", and just operating in your own little bubble forever? Incomprehensible to me. Selfish and stupid - I couldn't be friends with people like that. There's a huge world out there that you're part of - how can you be so blinkered to not take an interest?

I find it odd she would have no idea about it at all. I don't read news papers or watch the new either but I see headlines online on social media, mumsnet etc or hear the news on the radio and obviously hear people talking about things in real life.

I do find it a bit odd that she had no idea. It's one thing to not follow or know the latest developments. But being able to have not register an entire war in Europe is quite odd.

I think it's odd she's not even heard about it from family or friends or colleagues.

I don't know how she could be completely unaware of it - does she have no social media? My news feed gets promoted news stories in it, my Instagram stories were full of people sharing things about Ukraine etc. Even if she wasn't interested or seeking the news out, I dunno how she could have had no idea there was something happening.

It's not common and I couldn't be friends with someone that thick - sorry!

My daughter got rid of her TV and social media. She is so much happier now. I get it

There is a long-standing trend in the self-help industry recommending people veer off the news if they are stressed and down. When I had depression I stopped following the news because the incessant listing of war and murder and greed made me feel worse. Then, once I was better, I realised i'd got out of the habit and was shamefully ignorant. Now I follow it about four times a week.

If she is into self-help, that might explain it. Otherwise, I don't see how you can miss it. You'd need to actively avoid all current affairs.

If she's got teenagers that's really weird. All the teenagers I know are organising cake sales & non uniform days etc to raise funds.

I find ignorance about world events very unattractive tbh.

What's the point in getting worked up and anxious over something that doesn't impact you?
No need to get worked up but you should know some of what’s going in the world. The war in Ukraine, for example, does impact us, and how will you know if anything else does if you don’t even know it’s happening?

If you suffer from anxiety, depression or intrusive thoughts, it's often recommended to switch off from the news/unfollow it all on social media as it can cause you to spiral.

When we went into the first lockdown I found myself watching everything and it really didn't help me - I switched off from it all and my mood lifted within days.

While I do think it's rare not to have heard anything about Ukraine, following every second of the news really isn't necessary and it doesn't make you a better person because you do know about these things (not saying you feel that way OP, but it's a common theme on these threads).

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime

What's the point in getting worked up and anxious over something that doesn't impact you? No need to get worked up but you should know some of what’s going in the world. The war in Ukraine, for example, does impact us, and how will you know if anything else does if you don’t even know it’s happening?

But lots of people struggle to watch the news without getting themselves upset, worried or anxious.

So for them, it's better to be "ignorant" than to be knowledgeable and struggling.

As for finding out whether things impact you - most people just live their lives and won't be hugely impacted. As in, they'll just pay the increase prices, they'll just buy different things if their normal stuff isn't available - they don't care why there's a tomato or sunflower oil shortage because they can just buy other things.