To sometimes fantasise about living entirely alone?

[UnnecessaryFennel]

Caveat: I love and cherish my DH and DS. I wouldn't really want to be without them. But...

...oh my god. How would it be if it was just me? To have everything in the house where I want it, how I want it? To be able to furnish and decorate exactly as I please without ever having to negotiate other people's wants / dislikes? To eat what I want, when I want? To watch whatever I want to watch on the telly, whenever I want to watch it? To never ever have to explain or justify or persuade or compromise? To just live exactly as I want to, doing just what I choose to do, all the time?

Yep... I am mid-divorce and hellish as the process is, I won't lie, I am wondering why I didn't do it sooner! Our home, in the past 7 months since he moved out, has become the haven I'd always wanted it to become but knew it never could be. Well, here I am. It IS worth the bed of nails that is money worries and the occasional letter from his solicitor. I whole-heartedly mean that! I'd take NOW any day over THEN.
My kids are with me full time (he's not allowed to have contact with them) and they've been instrumental in making our home a happy one.
I'm really working on you, aren't I? I'm here, 24/7, to break up all marriages and long-term relationships and promote single living.

Just to add... you love your DH so don't listen to me. Feel free to dream the dream.
There are things you can do to make your home a bit more 'yours'.
The downside of being alone however is that I don't have anyone to bounce my terrible ideas off of. I'm in my own echo chamber where I am always right, apparently (but usually, very wrong! ). I do miss having a person to share care and love and ideas with. I never really had that in my marriage anyway, so I'm not in shock, swimming upstream and missing a caring partner. He was anything but that. I just notice more what other people have in their marriages and what I had been woefully missing. I notice people like you, OP, who really love the bones of their DHs. And I think that is an absolute gift in life. Don't show him the door just yet.

Do you have an iPad/tablet you can retreat into the bed with (heated mattress warmer switched on, a cup of tea on the bedside table, do not disturb or people will die sign hanging outside the bedroom door)?

I had DD at 23 and have purposefully remained single. I can't ever see myself living with anyone else (other than Dd) and not entirely sure how my parents have been married 40+ years it just seems impossible to me to compromise and live in each others pockets when I'm so used to doing exactly as I wish (finances allowing).

Haha @TheVanguardSix I've already been there and done that with xh so I know that feeling of relief! I think my current feeling is more about wanting to paint the walls colours DH wouldn't go for though

YANBU. This will be me when DS flies the nest. Never living with a man again post divorce!

Cross posts! Yeah I do love him very much, but I think 2 years of wfh together has left me craving a woman-cave, which unfortunately isn't an option!

Be careful what you wish for.

Having a bit of me-time to yourself, is a lot different to being completely alone 24/7.

Wouldn't be for me, as I enjoy company, but each to their own.

Not unreasonable in the slightest.
I’m separated from my exH, and live with my 3 young DCs who I have 70% of the time.
I love those kids with every ounce of my being…but fuck a duck primary school aged DCs are relentless. The constant noise, just talking at me about every single thought that enters their minds, the mess, the repeating myself everyday about the same very basic jobs I expect them to do (ie hang up their own wet towel instead of leaving it on the bathroom floor ).
I miss them when they are with the dad….but at the same time, the silence is utterly blissful. Only having to think about myself. If I can’t be bothered to cook dinner, I don’t have to. If I want to spend an entire Saturday in bed, I can.
Living alone definitely has its perks!

You and me both, I love DH and DS but 'fantasy-me' lives in a tiny little cottage with room for a couple of pets and a lot of books and no-one else (or their collections of tat precious hobby-related kit).

I've had similar thoughts re decorating. Just one room where I don't have to compromise. Don't get me wrong, I love our house and what we have achieved with it together, but just one room where I can choose my absolute favourite rather than where we both compromise. Maybe when DC move out I can have a craft room.

Gosh yes. I love my DP but definitely enjoy when he goes away for work. I really relish the thought of a whole evening or day ahead with no expectations and not even the need to utter a single word. I lived alone for about 2 years in my late 20s before meeting DP and I bloody LOVED IT! Although top benefits of DP (apart from generally being great) is that he stops me watching Netflix/reading until the early hours, so we definitely have a better sleep pattern when I’m not left to my own devices.

I just feel that my home would be serene, beautiful and slightly bohemian, full of gorgeous artisan things.

Whereas at the moment all I can see is electric cables, mess and clutter. And none of it is my mess or clutter!!

And the frigging tv is on all. the. time.

I love DP beyond all measure but the kids have left home and out would be BLISSFUL to have home exactly how i wanted it and live exactly how I wanted with only me to think about

Oh yes! Happily married with kids but I dream about the one bed flat I lived in before I met DH. I'd love a little place of my own that was easy to keep clean and where nobody bothered me.

I adore my DH and love living with him, but if I was in my own I'd live so simply - rarely have the heating on, barely use the cooker, and create no mess, so would spend exactly none of my time cleaning and tidying!

Ooooh yes. When the dc are all grown up and gone i am going to get my own little place. No more cooking family meals or ironing school uniforms, i will do whatever the fuck i want.

I quite like those tiny houses, built on trailer bases. In my dreams we could all have one each around a communal patio...

@Gliblet

You and me both, I love DH and DS but 'fantasy-me' lives in a tiny little cottage with room for a couple of pets and a lot of books and no-one else (or their collections of tat precious hobby-related kit).

This is my actual life, it's wonderful and I feel like I am living the dream every morning when I wake up

I don’t have a partner but do have children and sometimes wish I lived alone, no more cleaning up after anyone or cooking for anyone!

Yep, it's pretty wonderful. I have zero intention of ever living with anybody full time ever again if I can avoid it, I love my space and my freedom and would not cope with other people constantly making noise and mess. Obviously the doggies have free rein, and the dog hair drives me slightly nuts at times, but I love them so much I deal with it :)

I have a little room mapped out in my head. Pale blue walls, skylight only, in an attic somewhere near the sea, single bed, small wooden chair and a sidelight. It's where I 'go' sometimes to get away.

Yanbu. I dream about this at least once an hour.

I've lived alone for 20 years, I love it. Surrounded by lots of books, paintings, memories of travels, a spare room to use as a dressing room, quiet, eat what and when I like. Oh and a cat, but she's a recent addition.

I live alone too, and it is utter and complete bliss.