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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To sometimes fantasise about living entirely alone?

60 replies

UnnecessaryFennel · 06/04/2022 15:18

Caveat: I love and cherish my DH and DS. I wouldn't really want to be without them. But...

...oh my god. How would it be if it was just me? To have everything in the house where I want it, how I want it? To be able to furnish and decorate exactly as I please without ever having to negotiate other people's wants / dislikes? To eat what I want, when I want? To watch whatever I want to watch on the telly, whenever I want to watch it? To never ever have to explain or justify or persuade or compromise? To just live exactly as I want to, doing just what I choose to do, all the time?

OP posts:
LexMitior · 06/04/2022 18:49

@barbrahunter

I live alone too, and it is utter and complete bliss.
You are not wrong - its utterly blissful.
latriciamcneal · 06/04/2022 19:22

I do, which is weird because I spent 34 years on my own (largely) and to be honest this is much better. I still fantasise though! I see houses and imagine a whole life there as a single person. It's fun.

Suzi888 · 06/04/2022 19:28

Glad I’m not alone. Love DH, DD and the DDog but my own house would be utter bliss- I’d probably take DDog to be fair. Grin

Married and had a child later in life, so had this life before. Holidays, trips, everything how I wanted it.

UserLibra78 · 06/04/2022 19:28

I was daydreaming this morning about taking an empty train al the way to the middle of nowhere, to a small house with beautiful scenery, lying on the grass with nobody within sight.

I love to be alone 😔

3totheright4totheleft · 06/04/2022 19:30

@Silverclocks you should try Tiny House Nation on Netflix I think it is. Fantasy viewing!

NellesVilla · 06/04/2022 19:38

As an introvert on the ASD spectrum, for me, it is bliss and a necessity to live without humans breathing in my space. So happy not to have others’ crap everywhere, their noise, skid marks etc. I’ve never wanted children or a partner, and if a coupling were to happen, I’d prefer to still live alone.
I do have a dog, but she is the best, most easygoing companion ever- undemanding and never talks back! Always up for cuddles and a joy!

Lightning020 · 06/04/2022 19:44

I live alone with my 17 yr old ds. When he is away camping or at his dads family I can honestly say it is bliss. Ds is tidy and clean and does not crowd me in and we get on fine but boy I am so happy alone in my own company. House lovely and quiet and less housework/washing though ds does help a lot. Utterly wonderful plus I got a week to myself tomorrow.

Not wishing ds to move out until age 25 (we agreed this lol) but I know I can cope.

everythingisgoingup · 06/04/2022 19:55

I am married with two teenagers and by god I wish (quite a lot) they would all ber off

I want to be alone

Eat what I want

Watch what I want

Be ALL alone

The mess is not mine
Sad

Ratched · 06/04/2022 20:01

Buy a campervan. Honestly, job done.

DH NOT allowed, I go off for between 2 and 10 nights with the dogs.

Currently, am in Brighton, just had steak and stir fry, a glass of wine and some Montezumo chocolate.
No DHs, no DCs, fecking heaven.
Been to NT places en route, living the dreamGrin

OhSoStranger · 06/04/2022 20:12

I love living alone. Its utter bliss. No mess that I didn't create. I do have a DP !

I'll never live with someone again.

BobHadBitchTits · 06/04/2022 20:33

I've no idea what you mean.

I definitely have not researched how much I could borrow on my salary alone and then periodically looked up one bed flats in the area on Rightmove and imagined myself living there...

HumptyDumpty2022 · 06/04/2022 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mynameisnotkate · 06/04/2022 20:43

I went away for a long weekend with a friend in Sept 21 to a country that was on the amber list, which meant I had to spend two weeks in isolation. My parents had a flat they weren't using at the time near the airport we flew in to, so I stayed there on my own for two weeks. Everyone thought I was mad to put up with two weeks in isolation just for a long weekend away, but I loved it - it was my favourite part of the holiday. Love DH and DC and was glad to get back to them, but it was such bliss to be able to please myself entirely (as long as it didn't involve leaving the flat) for two weeks. I had so much time, even though I was working - it really brought home how much of my life is spent in family-related chores!

HighlandCowbag · 06/04/2022 20:56

I love my dh, and my dcs very, very much.

Dd goes to uni (hopefully) in September. I am praying that dh works away at some point. Then will be down to me and ds and tbf, despite being 8 he really isn't much trouble. It would be bliss.

But even if DH doesn't work away, I will have a spare room when dd leaves, teem time at least.

I'm going to make it a little woman cave, nice bedding, calmly decorated, blackout curtains. Am going to sneak off and sleep there at least once a week 😴

UnnecessaryFennel · 06/04/2022 21:09

@BobHadBitchTits

I've no idea what you mean.

I definitely have not researched how much I could borrow on my salary alone and then periodically looked up one bed flats in the area on Rightmove and imagined myself living there...

GrinGrin @BobHadBitchTits

@HumptyDumpty2022 if you don't mind me asking, how did that come about?

OP posts:
Sunnytwobridges · 06/04/2022 21:26

@HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime

I had DD at 23 and have purposefully remained single. I can't ever see myself living with anyone else (other than Dd) and not entirely sure how my parents have been married 40+ years it just seems impossible to me to compromise and live in each others pockets when I'm so used to doing exactly as I wish (finances allowing).
Same here. I had my DD at 23 and never really lived with a partner. I"ve lived by myself (and DD when she hasn't been in school) for the past 15 years.

I don't think I could ever compromise enough to live with anyone else. I love living alone. It's one of the things that cause me and my ex to break up, I just couldn't imagine living with him and that's was his ultimate goal. For me the only positive of living with someone would be for financial reasons but I'm not sure it's worth it LOL

HumptyDumpty2022 · 06/04/2022 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zerrin13 · 06/04/2022 21:42

I'm completely with you on this!
My ultimate goal is a little French old stone cottage full of beautiful bedlinen and pictures and books and a cottage garden or maybe somewhere in a quaint Andalusia village that I could restore and make beautiful and cosy and charming. I'd be happy just to live with my 2 dogs!

Earlydancing · 06/04/2022 21:45

Yeah, it's nice.

SirChenjins · 06/04/2022 21:49

I have exactly the same fantasy. I love my family dearly but I have a vision of a little French cottage with a bit of land for bee hives, an orchard and a veg patch. My gorgeous pup and I would cycle into the nearby village for baguettes and fromage and patisserie and I would be as happy as anything. I’d decorate it the way I wanted it, any mess would be my mess, I wouldn’t have to put up with teenage and twenty something dramas and my grumpy old DH. I have a very vivid picture my cottage and garden, it makes me very happy to imagine my French life.

Rememberitwell · 06/04/2022 21:51

I dream of it often. The peace!

I even researched house prices in the Scottish highlands and how to get there from the other end of the country where I live. No direct plane or train sadly but I could go one way and stay there in the middle of nowhere on my own.

Chonfox · 06/04/2022 21:55

I think many people (women) dream about this from time to time! As we're usually the ones whose lives are burdened - not improved - by living with others.

As soon as my youngest DC heads off to university I'm moving myself to a little apartment in a city somewhere. I dream about it at least once a week. DH can visit on the weekends if he wants Grin just another 15 or so years to go!

RandomNumb3rs · 06/04/2022 21:59

Ah yes. This is why I travel for work. The quiet.

Also why the house we are building has two living rooms, one at each end of the house.

And I have my own study.

MySecretHistory · 06/04/2022 22:02

I have a newly acquired tiny flat in central London (and a big house not in London)

I acquired it recently and adore it. I have it for as long as I want (belongs to a relative who cant use it any more) I have to go at least once a week to make sure it is ok ( I dont really but I do) . It only has lovely things in it that I have chosen.

No TV. Only space for about 20 items of clothing (ok maybe a few more)
takes 20 minutes max to clean. doesn't need the heating on as it is so warm.

Heartofglass12345 · 06/04/2022 22:03

I do this most days lol. I used to live by myself, and when I first met my husband he would come over and on days off together we would just spend most of the day in bed, not a care in the world. After a year we were married with a baby.
I loved having my own space with my cats lol.
I love my family but I still yearn for those days sometimes!