To have cried in asda

[Littlemissdan]

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

@Littlemissdan

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers. Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really :(

You should check if bagsoftaste.org run 'courses' in your area. These are not formal courses but a bit like recipe boxes with support available at your convenience, if wanted. They will bike over all the stuff needed to cook three recipes (seven portions) together a few small gifts

@liveforsummer summed it up perfectly @Hawkins001

'It's bloody insulting isn't it? Like insinuating people are too stupid to have thought to cancel unnecessary subscriptions or dot know how to shop economically. Believe me we know better than anyone...'

@lemmein

And I admit I should of worded it better than I did but if memory serves, I phrased the question to everyone about if they were saving £ , hence I was not intending it as budgeting advice to the op.

On the contrary, I think you worded it perfectly well - your views are very clear on this thread. It's interesting that you had no empathy in your first post for the OP - yet another poster who described how she and her retired DH struggles and suddenly your sympathy twinges. Definitely an air of the 'non-deserving/deserving poor' about your posts. Now, I don't know if you read the DM, but your posts scream of it, so if you do, you might want to consider whether you want to continue parroting their prejudices or form some opinions of your own.

My very first post on the ops thread

"Hawkins001

Littlemissdan

Is it just me that the whole cost of living thing is getting too much for? I actually had a (very small and no one watching!) cry in asda when I saw some reduced bakery goods because I didn’t know if I could afford them alongside my entire smartprice shop. £30 I had for a 2 week shop including nappies, and it just broke me that I actually had to wonder if I could afford a 55p treat for my kids. I can’t believe we’re living like this, 3 years ago we were comfortable and now I’m relying on the free school meals half term vouchers.
Not really looking for advice or budgeting advice here, just a bit of solidarity really sad

I understand your perspectives and frustrations to a degree, op, it soon adds up. All the best and positivity"

I'm so sorry, I completely understand.

[quote lemmein]**@liveforsummer* summed it up perfectly @Hawkins001*

'It's bloody insulting isn't it? Like insinuating people are too stupid to have thought to cancel unnecessary subscriptions or dot know how to shop economically. Believe me we know better than anyone...'[/quote]
Based on some people I know around me, they still want to go to the pub, have carvery every sunday, spend x amount on high priced food and takeaways, then they say they are struggling with covering the bills etc,

That's why I try not to presume that all people realise they may have to budget better etc.

We're managing for now but our food bills have gone up, complicated by one dc with asd, lactose intolerance and who now seems to be reacting to soya products, dc2 with.nut allergy and dh with an egg alkergy. All this makes shopping.and cooking a nightmare before rising prices are considered, eg most low cost supermarket breads contain soya derivatives.

Based on some people I know around me, they still want to go to the pub, have carvery every sunday, spend x amount on high priced food and takeaways, then they say they are struggling with covering the bills etc

Just because your friends are idiots, doesn’t mean we all are.

I voted to leave the EU as I am English, British, not wanting my country to be curtailed, channelled or dictated to by a consortium I did not vote for, especially under the umbrella of Merkel and Macron. I'm happy with things as they are. I hope my children are too, although we don't talk politics so I've no idea where their allegiances lie. There will always be winners and losers and those hovering somewhere in between. I can fully understand the problems that came with Brexit but the influx of foreign workers pre Brexit made it cheaper to employ those from the EU than our home-grown British nationals who were used to higher wages. That didn't go down well. Overall and discounting the enormous problems suffered worldwide due to Covid and the recent ongoing war, I think we'll weather the storm and thrive...IF we stop giving handouts to China and India whose records of human rights transgressions, are atrocious.
In saying that, I do respect all views and have no intention of rebutting your comments.
We both want a fairer and society with less of a chasm between the haves and have nots but I don't believe that softening the blows too much ( eg: handouts) makes for a society eager to put in the effort needed to get on its feet.

@ReadyToMoveIt

Based on some people I know around me, they still want to go to the pub, have carvery every sunday, spend x amount on high priced food and takeaways, then they say they are struggling with covering the bills etc

Just because your friends are idiots, doesn’t mean we all are.

Which is a fair point, but I try not to presume either way.

Your HV might be able to refer to food bank if you’ve got a 2 yr old or ask school if you have school age child.

Also, have a look and see if you have The Hygiene Bank in your local area. They don't give out hygiene products directly but may have a community partner in you area who can give you free products.

I understand your perspectives and frustrations to a degree, op, it soon adds up. All the best and positivity"

You then went on to advise getting rid of Netflix, etc and instead buy a £1 'cheap as chips' book from the charity shop - 'cheap as chips' but almost double the cost of the small treat the OP was upset at being unable to afford. Completely tone-deaf.

Anyway, I'll leave it here - I've no wish to hijack the OPs thread and hope it continues to be a supportive thread, despite the sneery posts from the few.

@GrandTheftWalrus

I don't unfortunately *@whitefire* I just got a tin of her usual yesterday and that'll last a while anyway then I'll maybe try the aldi one. She'll be off formula in about 6/7 weeks anyways

What brand do you usually use

@lemmein

I understand your perspectives and frustrations to a degree, op, it soon adds up. All the best and positivity"

You then went on to advise getting rid of Netflix, etc and instead buy a £1 'cheap as chips' book from the charity shop - 'cheap as chips' but almost double the cost of the small treat the OP was upset at being unable to afford. Completely tone-deaf.

Anyway, I'll leave it here - I've no wish to hijack the OPs thread and hope it continues to be a supportive thread, despite the sneery posts from the few.

To 're quote and give context these were my points after my original comment offering positivity to the op.

Hawkins001

Will everyone that wants to save £ be cancelling their Netflix, sky tv packages ect I know the internet is an essential for most, but tv is a luxury.

Then a poster commented and responded with

Today 02:13justonanote

Hawkins001

Will everyone that wants to save £ be cancelling their Netflix, sky tv packages ect I know the internet is an essential for most, but tv is a luxury.

Sky yes. Netflix no. It's the only thing this family has to enjoy. And provids hours of entertainment. Are poor people really to have absolutely 0?

Then I commented with to that specific post

Hawkins001

@justonanote

A good book cheap as chips in charity shops, and food on the table and more £ for gas and some savings on electricity being saved via not having tv on or routers, etc

@MrsGHarrison87

So basically you're doing a weekly shop for £15 including nappies? How? Try cheaper shops.

Nice!!!!!!!

This hurt my heart. I've been there and it's bloody hard. 10 years ago I remember hunting down the sofas and through my coat pockets looking for the odd 20p to up my grocery spend. Once I had £6 for a week and I don't know how I did it. It was shit. I'm very fortunate to be ok now, but I have absolute sympathy for anyone going through this and know it can happen to any of us. Please please don't be too ashamed to use the food bank. There's nothing shameful about it. Sending you (and anyone else in the same situation) all the love and let's hope for some sunshine and warmth soon.

@LoisLane66

It isn't the government who set prices it's the growers, manufacturers, shippers, wholesalers, retailers and all of them must make a profit if they're to stay in business. There's also the packaging, storage, deliveries ( including fuel) advertising, gas electricity, insurance, staff costs plus wages and a million other unseen costs before you see a treat on the shelf. The government has no say in all of this. Government cannot keep giving handouts as it's really you and your nextdoor neighbours whose tax is paying towards a whole range of benefits, food vouchers for during school holidays, extra help for people with disabilities, JSA, UC and council tax exemptions +++++ It's a finite pot and we are already in huge amounts of debt. Help must be limited otherwise the economy crumbles and we get high inflation.

We are the 5th richest country in the world... if we can't afford to take care of the most vulnerable in society there's something badly wrong. Plus, the money is there. They found £37 billion for Dido Harding and Sunak just wrote off £3.7 billion in Covid-related fraud because he can't be bothered to chase it up. As for coming out of Europe to get away from unelected burecrats...who elected Ian Botham, and Eugene Lebedev? These people are in the House Of Lords deciding our future. I think I'd rather take my chances with Merkel than be awash with Russian money.

Plus...if no-one has any disposable income...how long do you think businesses are going to survive? Restaurants, retail, hairdressers, cinemas. They all need us to be spending money.
A lot of money leaves the country to be stashed away in the Caymans, or similar.

@Littlemissdan just to make you aware this thread has been picked up by The Mirror in case you wanted it pulling. Crappy journalism at its finest 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Blondeshavemorefun I currently use cow and gate. But it shouldn't be long till she's off formula anyways. I would buy the box with the 2 bags in it for £12 and that helped a lot. Its just last month and next month which will be tough as I have no income. Only my dh wages and small amount of uc.

@LoisLane66

I voted to leave the EU as I am English, British, not wanting my country to be curtailed, channelled or dictated to by a consortium I did not vote for, especially under the umbrella of Merkel and Macron. I'm happy with things as they are. I hope my children are too, although we don't talk politics so I've no idea where their allegiances lie. There will always be winners and losers and those hovering somewhere in between. I can fully understand the problems that came with Brexit but the influx of foreign workers pre Brexit made it cheaper to employ those from the EU than our home-grown British nationals who were used to higher wages. That didn't go down well. Overall and discounting the enormous problems suffered worldwide due to Covid and the recent ongoing war, I think we'll weather the storm and thrive...IF we stop giving handouts to China and India whose records of human rights transgressions, are atrocious. In saying that, I do respect all views and have no intention of rebutting your comments. We both want a fairer and society with less of a chasm between the haves and have nots but I don't believe that softening the blows too much ( eg: handouts) makes for a society eager to put in the effort needed to get on its feet.

You're beyond contempt, you know that?

Not read the full thread so may already have been suggested, but either cloth nappies for your 2.5yo or potty train? Appreciate the added cost of cloth nappies but there are Facebook groups and often people in a similar situation will post and members will offer them nappies for free or just postage costs. I'm sitting with a pile of them that don't suit my super peeing son and would be happy to send in that situation (realise this is not a begging thread etc). Or potty train, yes total ball ache for the first wee while but if it cuts a fiver off your weekly shop then worth it?

[quote WildOats5678]@Littlemissdan just to make you aware this thread has been picked up by The Mirror in case you wanted it pulling. Crappy journalism at its finest 🤦🏼‍♀️[/quote]
Ugh, of course it has, the bloody snakes! I’m not going to read any comments, the general public can be quite cruel!

@LoisLane66 It would be terrible to give "handouts" to people so they can... eat...

p.s. shame people like you can't buy a soul.

There are many people who fraudulently collect said handouts and many who have no appetite for work if they can live by other means. Don't tell me that I'm the only person who knows this or thinks this. I personally know a neighbour who cheats the system and that's not me supposing, she brags about it.