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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex has taken kids passports

81 replies

Jodiebrighton · 01/04/2022 10:30

Hi,

I currently live with my ex with our 2 children. We are separated and looking to move on with buyouts or selling the family home. I've just noticed the kids passports are missing and mine has been left. Should I be worried? Can I request these are kept in the house or in a location with a neutral friend. They didn't mention they were taking them.

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 06/04/2022 17:24

Report the passport lost or stolen.

Call Women's aid and right for women you urgently need a PSO.

tempester28 · 06/04/2022 17:43

You can apply for a prohibitive steps order? I think - you would need to get advice but I believe that would stop him from taking them out of the county without your consent until you have worked things out.

GabriellaMontez · 06/04/2022 17:50

@frazzledasarock

Report the passport lost or stolen.

Call Women's aid and right for women you urgently need a PSO.

Do this.

I'm afraid you've got a shit bag on your hands there. Why would anyone advise him to remove them? You're not the flight risk... he is

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2022 18:02

I echo others.
Cancel passports (lost).
You need to apply to the courts without a solicitor. I have self-repped in both of my divorces (still going through the second one... there will be no third! Grin).

I recently had to apply and did it online using this link. This is the form you will need to apply for a PSO.
I had a hearing (online... really weird... still not used to this Zoom world we live in but so much handier than sitting around a courtroom all day).
Anyway... FYI:

Form C100: Apply for a court order to make arrangements for a child or resolve a dispute about their upbringing. Apply for a 'child arrangements', 'prohibited steps' or 'specific issue' order under the Children Act 1989.

You want prohibited steps order.

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/apply-for-court-order

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2022 18:03

Also, there's an option to tick something like 'emergency hearing'... you want this! Don't think you're overreacting. You want to get this nipped in the bud asap.
What he has done is hostile, threatening, and underhand. He's changed the rules of the game.

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2022 18:06

Seriously, OP.
You don't really need legal advice. It is pretty straightforward, I promise.
DM me if you'd like any help filling out the form.
You'll need to pay the court fees but they're soooo much cheaper than seeking legal advice and paying for a solicitor to represent you in court. You can do this entirely on your own. Honestly.

TheVanguardSix · 06/04/2022 18:08

I should reword that... you don't need to PAY for legal advice. There's a lot of good advice online and you can get a free consultation with a family solicitor if you wish.

TheNameOfTheRoses · 06/04/2022 18:31

Very strange answer form him tbh.

What does it mean ‘if you continue this way’, this way doing what?!? Asking if he has seen the dcs passports?

And why did he ask about you cancelling the passports? (Assuming he actually asked that question) why did he think you might want to do that?

I agree with others. Passports are gone. You don’t know where they are. You report them stolen.
What will be unlawful is if he tries to use them.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/04/2022 18:58

@Jodiebrighton

He has taken them as per advice he received from an advice line. He said they also advised him to report me to the police if I continue this way.

I said I have been advised to report them as lost by an advice line which I will do as I have concerns he is taking them away for 4 days, works at an airport and has their passports.

He said this would be fraudulent by me to report them as lost.

It is possible that it could be deemed a malicious report - they are very aware of custody disputes.

The best case is to go through the emergency steps to ensure that any action is permitted or not by the Court - he'd had to provide evidence that he isn't being posted overseas, for example, such as a return booking.

Alicenwonderland · 06/04/2022 19:55

Please contact Womens aid asap. It looks as if he's trying to build a case against you to get custody of the children. Writing you messages about your 'difficult' behaviour when this is not the case is a huge red flag! My ex is currently trying to say I have mental health issues. It's utter nonsense of course but not surprising. He's dragged me to court three times now in the past two years. Your ex seems to be creating a paper trail to support his ideas and has possibly already logged things with services. Womens aid will be able to support you with court and advise you of what to do.

REignbow · 06/04/2022 20:14

@Jodiebrighton

I actually agree with what @Alicenwonderland has said.

It is also suspicious that he is telling you to buy your own food and not for you and the children.

Call WA.

Could you move in temporarily with family?

Jodiebrighton · 06/04/2022 22:32

[quote TheVanguardSix]I echo others.
Cancel passports (lost).
You need to apply to the courts without a solicitor. I have self-repped in both of my divorces (still going through the second one... there will be no third! Grin).

I recently had to apply and did it online using this link. This is the form you will need to apply for a PSO.
I had a hearing (online... really weird... still not used to this Zoom world we live in but so much handier than sitting around a courtroom all day).
Anyway... FYI:

Form C100: Apply for a court order to make arrangements for a child or resolve a dispute about their upbringing. Apply for a 'child arrangements', 'prohibited steps' or 'specific issue' order under the Children Act 1989.

You want prohibited steps order.

www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/apply-for-court-order[/quote]
Thank you. Isn't there a long turnaround time for this even if I tick urgent?

And not quite sure how to dm.

OP posts:
SpringsSprung · 07/04/2022 14:22

@Jodiebrighton

I can't afford any more legal advice and he has a 4 day trip planed next week but will not tell me where.
Call the NCDV. This is domestic abuse which qualifies you for legal aid. They will get an ex-partè prohibited steps order in place for you within a matter of days and he won't know a thing about it until he's served the order in his hand
SpringsSprung · 07/04/2022 14:23

On the meantime PLEASE PLEASE take your kids to your mums and KEEP them there!!!

Namechangehereandnow · 13/04/2022 10:11

Hope all is ok OP?

MrsMoastyToasty · 13/04/2022 10:36

I picked up on something from your comments aside from your passport issue. The joint account.

If you haven't done so already please arrange a sole bank account for your wages and/or benefits to be paid into. Ideally a different bank to the one your joint account is with so that it can't be linked. Also mention to your existing bank that you are having marital problems. They may flag the account so that he can't drain the account.

Whatsonmymindgrapes · 13/04/2022 10:49

Would be be planning to take them to a country that wouldn’t extradite them?

Maybebabyno2 · 13/04/2022 17:54

Hey OP how is everything now? Did you get advice/complete the form?

Jodiebrighton · 25/04/2022 14:09

Hi, he still had the passports. I tried to get advice but I was told it's a legal matter which I can't afford. I've had to leave it for now as we have joint mediation tomorrow and I don't want to get him upset about passports before the childcare mediation.

OP posts:
SlatsandFlaps · 26/04/2022 15:23

Jodiebrighton · 25/04/2022 14:09

Hi, he still had the passports. I tried to get advice but I was told it's a legal matter which I can't afford. I've had to leave it for now as we have joint mediation tomorrow and I don't want to get him upset about passports before the childcare mediation.

NCDV will arrange a Solicitor free of charge for you under the Legal Aid Domestic Abuse gateway. Please get out of that house and call NCDV to get an emergency Prohibited Steps Order. Tell them you have reason to believe he's going to leave the country with your children and not return. That he is abusive and you need a Prohibited Steps Order ASAP. They'll have you a FREE solicitor within the hour Flowers

Lucyliverpool · 18/09/2022 06:31

I'm having the same issues , has he given them back yet , my ex is point black refusing and has family in New Zealand so I am really worried

Givenuptotally · 18/09/2022 07:28

Have a look at reunite.org for further advice.

FitFat · 18/09/2022 07:34

He sounds so horrible OP :(
I hope you have real life support

torquewench · 18/09/2022 07:38

ProudAlly · 01/04/2022 14:00

Have your solicitor request them and then have then stored at your solicitor.

I was going to post a "Wtaf" reply but then saw the date on this.

It's possible to hold concurrent passports. Apply for 2nd ones.

Fraaahnces · 18/09/2022 07:47

Technically they ARE lost. You can’t find them, can you? Have them re-issued and sent to your parents.