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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ex has taken kids passports

81 replies

Jodiebrighton · 01/04/2022 10:30

Hi,

I currently live with my ex with our 2 children. We are separated and looking to move on with buyouts or selling the family home. I've just noticed the kids passports are missing and mine has been left. Should I be worried? Can I request these are kept in the house or in a location with a neutral friend. They didn't mention they were taking them.

OP posts:
CrispyWhispy · 01/04/2022 14:26

My ex husband did this. He was advised to gather pretty much everything he could by experts (his loser friends/mother/sister). No idea why - he didn't take them on holiday for years, I did that and had to get replacement passports. Your ex is probably just following expert advice.

MadeForThis · 01/04/2022 14:26

He's probably just trying to piss you off.

Original poster
Jodiebrighton · 01/04/2022 14:34

@MadeForThis

He's probably just trying to piss you off.
I think it's this. Everything he is doing is trying to get a response from me. This week he told me to sort my own food shop out and he has changed the Asda groceries sign in details. He said he would not pay extra for me anymore.

The shop is paid for out the joint bank account!!!

I work at home most the time mon to Friday and he is cabin crew long haul. I replied last night and said you are out the country half the time so it makes sense I do the shopping for me and the kids and you sort your own. He is just bullying me now.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 01/04/2022 14:37

Contact Women's aid for advice.

Swayingpalmtrees · 01/04/2022 14:39

If you cancel the passports then you won't need to ask him again.
Have you protected and changed your passwords for everything? And really secured yourself, he sounds very bitter and out for revenge. How petty to cancel the shopping!

WB205020 · 01/04/2022 14:57

Man takes children's passports.......MN response......he is controlling, apply for replacements!
MN advise to all women......take the passport and hide it from him!
You couldn't make it up.

OP, wait and have a conversation with him about it. He may have put them somewhere safe. He may also be worried about you taking the kids. He may also be one of the men on here and is simply taking MN advise without realising its only meant for women!

BringMeTea · 01/04/2022 15:16

Hmmm all those folks so keen to cry double standards clearly haven't even bothered to read the Op's posts. Quelle surprise Rodney! The poor poor put upon wee boyman.

AryaStarkWolf · 01/04/2022 15:20

Sounds like an awful set up (passport question aside) I hope you won't have to live together for much longer. I don't know why people have to turn so nasty in these situations

Original poster
Jodiebrighton · 01/04/2022 15:36

@WB205020

Man takes children's passports.......MN response......he is controlling, apply for replacements! MN advise to all women......take the passport and hide it from him! You couldn't make it up.

OP, wait and have a conversation with him about it. He may have put them somewhere safe. He may also be worried about you taking the kids. He may also be one of the men on here and is simply taking MN advise without realising its only meant for women!

I agree. I have simply asked if he has seen them. He hasn't replied and also my passports have been removed from being with the rest. But I have simply asked him if he has seen them. I've not accused him of anything.

I will wait for him to reply and let me know if they have been put safe somewhere else. It's just strange mine were removed.

I'm not reporting as lost unless he says he has taken them and will not return them. Hopefully it's just a misunderstanding

OP posts:
Undecicive · 01/04/2022 15:58

I have not once been asked for birth certificates when leaving the UK with my children who have a different surname from me. Not once. Only coming back home. Just be aware of this, OP.

CanIPleaseHaveOne · 01/04/2022 16:55

@ApolloandDaphne

Why is it that a woman is advised to take the passports when they spilt but men are accused of nefarious reasons if they do the same? We don't know the OP. Her ex may have concerns about her taking off with the kids.

Sorry OP. I am not making you out to be a shady character. Just asking a question!

It seems to me after 50 odd years on the planet that you rarely hear of a woman taking off with the kids.

Running to a shelter yes, but proper running away to another country?

CanIPleaseHaveOne · 01/04/2022 17:01

@WB205020

Man takes children's passports.......MN response......he is controlling, apply for replacements! MN advise to all women......take the passport and hide it from him! You couldn't make it up.

OP, wait and have a conversation with him about it. He may have put them somewhere safe. He may also be worried about you taking the kids. He may also be one of the men on here and is simply taking MN advise without realising its only meant for women!

In the breakdown of a relationship children are often used against the woman.

This is not new. A casual glance at history books, novels, popular culture tells you all you need to know about the subject.

It is very new for women to have so many rights over themselves and their children.

Theunamedcat · 01/04/2022 17:07

Women are advised to secure the passports when there is duel residency or he has threatened to remove the children 🙄 not as a rule

Theunamedcat · 01/04/2022 17:10

Yup ^^ my nan was "allowed" a divorce but NOT allowed access to her children he swore she would never see them as long as he lived and he was right he died and they found her a year later she died there wasn't enough hours in the day to make up for the lost time

CrispyWhispy · 01/04/2022 18:05

*I agree. I have simply asked if he has seen them. He hasn't replied and also my passports have been removed from being with the rest. But I have simply asked him if he has seen them. I've not accused him of anything.

I will wait for him to reply and let me know if they have been put safe somewhere else. It's just strange mine were removed.

I'm not reporting as lost unless he says he has taken them and will not return them. Hopefully it's just a misunderstanding*

No OP , I can't remember a single case of "woman fucks off with kids because husband wouldn't do what wife told him. Plus woman decided to keep kids on hideous regime because she was at massive advantage of said regime "

There's no comparison.

ittakes2 · 01/04/2022 18:43

I think you can ring immigration or similar so a flag is linked to their passports saying they can’t leave the country without permission from both parents if you are worried. Does sound like it’s more of a control thing. I wouldn’t cancel as you’ll have to renew and that would need signatures from both parents.

winterchills · 01/04/2022 20:50

Sounds like he's playing games after reading the full thread. Don't let the kids out of ur site until you get the passports back

skipperjonce · 01/04/2022 21:00

I expect he’s getting his ducks in a row 😂

SpringsSprung · 01/04/2022 22:29

I'm disgusted that people are finding this funny. Regardless of the MN double standards, do people not realise that all the signs are actually there for him to be planning to leave the country with them? Dramatic? Yes probably. But stranger things have happened and I wouldn't be taking chances as far as my DC are concerned!

I used to work for an airline and he could so, so easily request to be based abroad (literally at the drop of a hat as airlines are crying out for staff to post abroad atm). Also working in that country would entitle him to live in said country. Kids have his surname. Job done, provided it's the right country!

Genuinely not aiming to scare you op. I just think you should be extra aware, that's all.

girlmom21 · 02/04/2022 07:30

do people not realise that all the signs are actually there for him to be planning to leave the country with them?

By moving the passports? That's literally all he's done.

Original poster
Jodiebrighton · 06/04/2022 17:10

He has taken them as per advice he received from an advice line. He said they also advised him to report me to the police if I continue this way.

I said I have been advised to report them as lost by an advice line which I will do as I have concerns he is taking them away for 4 days, works at an airport and has their passports.

He said this would be fraudulent by me to report them as lost.

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 06/04/2022 17:14

Get to a solicitor and get a prohibited steps order.

And definitely report the passports lost/stolen. It’s not fraud they’ve been stolen by someone who you are afraid will remove them from the country in which you reside.

frazzledasarock · 06/04/2022 17:15

This board has been inundated by trolls recently.

OP get legal advice and ask for a PSO and report the passports as stolen.

hemulensdress · 06/04/2022 17:17

Sounds exhausting OP. Good luck with the separation!

Original poster
Jodiebrighton · 06/04/2022 17:19

I can't afford any more legal advice and he has a 4 day trip planed next week but will not tell me where.

OP posts: