To ask for your best teen boy parenting tips

[RubyRubyRubyDiamond]

Please. Based on the top tips for parenting children thread.

Lots of listening. I mean proper silent non interrupting listening and then being engaged in what they are saying.

I remember my eldest at about 14 being really upset about his gaming. but it wasnt really about gaming. He was upset and just needed to talk and be heard

Lots of grab and go foods
Take an interest in the crap stuff they talk about

Pick your battles, if its just a minor irritation thi k about it, does it really matter? Allow them their independence be fair but firm with house rules/curfews etc. If you want something done give a time frame rather than a now ultimatum. You can be their friend aswell as their parent with a fine balance.

Ask them if they are ok? Had a nice day at school? What are they planning to do at the weekend?
They often won't start a conversation with you but if you ask them questions they will normally respond. If you are really struggling to talk to them, talk in the car, when they dont have eye contact with you they tend to talk more.

Humour. Late night chats, they come alive later at night when you'd like them to be asleep and when you definitely want to sleep. Stay awake and chat or listen to them, it's a golden time to listen and be heard if there's a point you need to get across.

Tell them you love them a lot and how great they are. Praise wherever you can and pick your battles, a bit like toddlers .

Drive them whenever you can and have silly chats. Often lead to more serious chats.

Mine talks most when helping with something (tip run, dog walking).

Notice and thank them when they do something without being asked.

Loosen the reins … they’ll be 18 in x years so need practice making safe choices even if it’s not the ones you’d chose.

Know which lines can’t be crossed… and reevaluate together regularly, things move quickly!

Ride it out, they come back (and in DS’s case are shocked at things they did/ said/ wanted to do at 14 by 16 and actually appreciate you having stopped them!)

@eosmum

Drive them whenever you can and have silly chats. Often lead to more serious chats.

Completely agree with me, my teen boy talks loads when I drive him somewhere

Some great ideas here

If I want to talk/hang out with my 15 year old boy I usually offer to take him out for food. He is always up for going out for coffee or pizza, etc.

Memes via WhatsApp and Facebook memories via messenger, so no-one else sees stuff but we can still share. Lots of in jokes.

Listen when they chat, sometimes I find it can be at the most obscure time! DS1 (18) is a closed book, I know him so can read him well, so I know if he isn't happy just can't always find out exactly why, so I'm always prepared to listen when he opens up.

On a lighter note - ensure a house full of food is always available

Make sure they understand their emotions are ok and that they respect others but also expect to be respected. And try not to be upset when they get a boyfriend/girlfriend and you are no longer their go-to person! But also be there to hold them when they need that

Help them work out the consequences of all their actions and let them make mistakes. Be available, constantly emotionally available. Not judgemental, we're not always right as parents.

Talk about everything with them. Make embarrassing things funny but have all topics on the table.

Make mistakes in front of them. Teach them we're all infallible it's how we handle it afterwards that matters. Talk about the days you don't want to go to work. The days you're nervous, feel angry and show them this is normal.

Tell them you love them all the time. Tell them when they do good things. Hug them and let them go. Be ready with open arms when they come back.

1.Listen, listen and more listening.
2.Playing computer games with them, if that there thing? I am rubbish at computer games but my son loves it when we play fifa, we just laugh so much at my crap abilities
3.Encourage them to cook something, they pick the dish and you buy the ingredients. The interest normally lasts about 5 mins and you are left with a mess ....but it's a start and hopefully one day they might actually bloody finish.

1. Sending funny videos via social media, it let's them know, you also have a great sense of humour

I have 4 boys, youngest is 13 and so far its plain sailing with the youngest...they are simple creatures who just want to to be heard and definitely pick your battles

Watch things together which spark conversations.

We've been watching loads of Louis Theroux documentaries recently and spend hours talking about the various issues they bring up.

Make them feel valued members of family, shaming and shouting doesn't work, kindness and loving understanding does, as well as honesty. Navigating the teenage years can be full of uncertainty both for teenagers and parents, explain why boundaries , rules and respect are so important, lead by example, surround them with healthy people, ensure they have a stable , secure and loving homelife, teach them to be responsible and accountable. Lighten up and have fun, create happy memories, a good sense of humour is a must as well as nerves of steel.

@RubyRubyRubyDiamond

Please. Based on the top tips for parenting children thread.

Please share the thread?! Can't find it

• Pick your battles
• Drive them places - conversation flows much easier for many when they aren't having to look into each others faces
• Welcome their mates - be that into your house or giving them lifts too.
• Don't forget to notice the positive things, and to praise them (try and count inside your head how many times you praise or compliment them, compared with nagging)
• show an interest in something they are interested in
• Don't sweat the small stuff

Set up your internet so that it automatically switches off at a set time. Don't ever change it. (You should be able to set it for each device if you or your partner want access at other times). If you provide their phone contract make sure it doesn't have much of a data allowance.

Also make sure your parental controls on your internet are what you want them to be.

Trapped in the car and late nights definitely best time to get them talking. Know their friends even if it means a few dropping by alot. Start a wats app or Snapchat thread . Ours still going now he's at uni. Had a few mum I need to talk on that and it keeps a relationship going, daft pet photos, have you seen ect in a way thay relate too.

Teach them that no means no, to use condoms even if the girl says that she is using other contraception. Teach them about listening, about respecting themself and others. Remind them that no matter how embarrassed they may be that you are always there to listen and give advice and support. Teach them to cook, how to clean, how to budget. Encourage them to study or work. Let them make mistakes, but also learn from them. Give them hugs, laugh with them, be silly, praise them and tell them that you love them!

Respect their space and room. I try (note the word try) to talk to DS15 when he comes to me, rather than invading his space and privacy.

Try and find something in common, for us it has been TV show and films, he loves them so gives us a common ground for discussion and spending time together.

Remember their brains are all over the place. Whilst their maths may now be better than yours, so someway they are like toddlers, so don't expect them to always be rationale or act like an adult.

Have a huge snack cupboard!

Realise that Kevin and Perry we're not comedy characters but clearly filmed as part of a real life documentary .

Realise that Kevin and Perry we're not comedy characters but clearly filmed as part of a real life documentary

This !!

Mums taxi worked well for me for chatting in a shared space
We’ve always connected over food and drink
At 17 I did a lot of driving practice
At 18 pre booked visits to university city involving a food shop and meal out
Clothes shopping with agreed limit to spend of my money