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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate going out for a meal

262 replies

Bigbouncingbaby · 31/03/2022 19:59

I’ve always thought eating out was expensive…but since covid and not going out at all now I just can’t be bothered to go ! Every time I go out the service is crap or the food is crap . Then I get the bill at the end and think omg could of brought loads in Lidl for that 🤔😳 would much rather eat in but I think my husband just thinks I’m being miserable. Is it just me 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
JustJam4Tea · 01/04/2022 06:36

I love going out to eat, but there’s some places people suggest that my heart sinks. Because I could cook it better or would use better ingredients.

I like to splurge occasionally on something special that I couldn’t don myself. But very happy to eat out at places that eg do a good ham sandwich and bowl of soup.

2 years of cooking 3 meals a day at home….I’m still playing catch up at loving someone else cooking and clearing up.

Was out yesterday with friends I rarely eat out with as nobody cooks as well as them, they won’t splurge as tight, and it’s sucks the joy out of it.

Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree · 01/04/2022 06:36

I love eating out. But if it’s a pub I always go for fish and chips, if I’ve ever got something else I’ve always hated it and feel as you do!

mjf981 · 01/04/2022 06:41

I'm in Australia, and there's nothing better than going out for brunch in a cafe on a sunny weekend morning. And we have a good pub down the street that has a quiet low key but quality bistro for the odd evening meal. Otherwise I'm not bothered about going to new and trendy restaurants. The bill often ends up eye wateringly expensive, and rarely have I thought it was worth it.

cherrysthename · 01/04/2022 07:05

I love 'going out' just as much as the food, but of course I'd be gutted to be paying for something I'd not enjoyed! If the food or service was crap, I'd complain. Luckily I've never had the need to.

I do feel kind of similar about takeaways, though. I'll get an irresistible craving, but always regret it afterwards and wish id just saved the money 😂

Buildingthefuture · 01/04/2022 07:10

DH and I never bother with the chain type places. I’m no Mary Berry, but I always think I could do better at home than the food there and they are expensive. We never go out for Sunday Lunch either because I can definitely do that better at home. We do love eating out though, at good restaurants and are lucky to have quite a few within easy distance. I’m surprised by the amount of people on here who have been to restaurants that have “questionable hygiene”. I’m fussy AF and cannot remember the last time I thought a place was dirty.
To each their own though. I used to work with a chap who, with his wife, had a set menu for what they ate every day of the week. I always remember that Fridays was breaded fish and pasta with no sauce?! He said they never went to restaurants because “they tried it once and didn’t like it”

fishonabicycle · 01/04/2022 07:14

You have to be selective about where you eat out is all. Lots of places serve shit food.

Yellowleadbetter · 01/04/2022 07:18

Personally, As a joyless, antisocial, introverted misery guts I would say that eating out is my one acceptable social event that is for the most part the least unpleasant activity that I partake in.

Because:

  1. I can choose something I would normally cook at home (faff)
  2. no washing up
  3. I choose very carefully my company (I don’t like fucking people except one or two excellent folk)
  4. it’s over in no more than 2.5 hours.
  5. which means I’m home before 9pm
  6. my choice, completely in my control.

It’s expensive but I don’t drink alcohol ( hence the joyless misery guts statement)
I only go for one course, usually a starter as a main.
I don’t do “fancy” so pre check the menu, if they are selling a sarny for more than a tenner then I just won’t go there.
Cheep, cheerful, quick and no faff will occasionally bring a small smile to my usually barren miserable chops.

Weekendtobegin · 01/04/2022 07:26

I've become a bit like this op.

I used to love eating out, but with the exception of a couple of my absolute favourite restaurants, I always feel as though I could make better at home for half the cost.

I know you go for the experience, but too often I've sat in restaurants that are cold, poor and slow service, average food.

It is a miserable joyless way to be though because it's good to get out.

Weekendtobegin · 01/04/2022 07:31

I should have said it probably doesn't help that I've a dh who is a really good cook. We cook together and he also likes to try new recipes so it isn't always me doing the daily drudge of cooking and cleaning up.

Caiti19 · 01/04/2022 07:38

I can relate to this. Pre Covid, we used to eat out a lot more as a family. Sort of mindlessly. Now I'm more questioning. Especially with kids plates. My tolerance for paying 10 quid for a plate of spaghetti has gone way way down. I too am prone to the "Lidl equivalent" calculation. I still eat out, but enjoy it more when it's something I love but don't cook at home because kids wouldn't eat it - chilli garlic prawns, interesting salads etc. I'm not surrounded by great restaurants though. There are only 2 really, and the rest are basic fodder.

sandgrown · 01/04/2022 07:44

I am the unofficial social secretary of my group of female friends. I am always on the look out for offers and new places to try . We have had some disasters and found some really good places but we always have a laugh. It’s about getting together . Even when I was really skint following divorce I would go along and maybe have just one course but that time out meant so much.

ClaudineClare · 01/04/2022 08:23

I love eating out, but standards have definitely slipped lately in some places.

My other gripe is that so many places are still not wheelchair friendly and many don't bother stating on their websites if they are or not. The independents are the worst for this unfortunately.

Newgirls · 01/04/2022 08:35

I like a good local cafe where they cook from scratch or a great indie posh restaurant with decent chefs. The in between chains tend to be cheap, mass produced food that is poor value.

JingsMahBucket · 01/04/2022 08:51

@QueenofDestruction

I have no idea how I ended up on this thread........
🤣 @QueenofDestruction I’m curious as to which thread this was now. Do you have a link?
ElsieMc · 01/04/2022 09:20

I don't enjoy eating out that much but after lockdown we ate out at a local gastro type pub - the sort that charge £15 for a burger and chips. I had gammon and pineapple. The fresh pineapple was too hard to eat, lots of husk etc but overall it was very nice at around £15. But my gs's girlfriend had the burger and her bun was green with mould! Just not good enough at all. They changed it but as pp's have said, where are the hygiene and food safety standards? This may look reasonable to some but I am in the NW where this is pricey.

I also live near Cartmel which is a foody village now alongside racing. I have not eaten in the michelin starred restaurant but it's sister restaurant which was nice. I now understand now you pay for your main meal ie steak then pay for veg/pots separately which takes it out of my price range now I am afraid. If I am wrong, correct me.

We are also lucky there is a lovely chinese within a 15 min drive. No deliveries rurally for us sadly. Makes it all costly.

Weekendtobegin · 01/04/2022 10:02

It's funny people saying that standards have dropped.

I thought I'd just got used to eating at home but I have had some shocking meals out and I don't remember places being that bad a few years ago.

JustJam4Tea · 01/04/2022 10:04

@Newgirls

I like a good local cafe where they cook from scratch or a great indie posh restaurant with decent chefs. The in between chains tend to be cheap, mass produced food that is poor value.
I feel like this too. Where we are is expensive to eat out. And our nicest restaurants are more expensive but the same standard as an up market (but not MIchelin) decent place in the UK.

So a nicely cooked bit of fish with a side and veg will be £26 - get just as nice somewhere in the UK for about £16.

Still love eating out though.

Hyperion100 · 01/04/2022 10:10

We definitely dont go out for those regular average meals anymore.

We prefer to go out less but go to a swanky restaurant for a blow out once every 6 weeks.

crepesncream · 01/04/2022 10:16

Yanbu I often struggle with the menu finding something I fancy, then I often think, I could have made just as well at home for a fraction of the price.....and I know you don't have to have a starter but everyone else always does so I end up getting one, usually very dear too.

I sound such a delight don't I. Grin

Swayingpalmtrees · 01/04/2022 10:23

Go to better restaurants!! Maybe?

We always check out the Michelin guide before booking anywhere, it is a good start.

MrsSkylerWhite · 01/04/2022 10:25

Don’t enjoy it either. Food’s rarely exceptional and even if it is, can’t be doing with all the faff that goes with it anymore.
Much prefer dinners with friends at home.

Jng1 · 01/04/2022 10:34

In light of household bills going up DH & I were talking about where we could make savings and he said we could reduce eating out (which is rarely more than once a fortnight anyway!). He said "we can make just as good at home and it's cheaper, and we can have people over for dinner too, instead of meeting up."
The problem here is that what he really means is that it's ME who can make just as good (or better) food at home. When it's his turn to cook he never plans or leaves enough time, so invariably it's pasta and an 'emergency' jar of sauce or some tasteless sausage & bean mix with couscous.
And he has NEVER, EVER organised people coming over for dinner, but happily chomps his way through evenings I've organised for us, and the reciprocal ones at friends.

So even if the food isn't always great at a meal out, at least there's a break from the planning, cooking, serving and clearing of it!

maddy68 · 01/04/2022 11:08

If my husband wouldn't enjoy a meal put I really think that would affect our relationship. I value the time away from the mundane of the house and the different conversation that you have while out in a restaurant.

notanothertakeaway · 01/04/2022 11:10

Interesting to see so many people saying that the food isn't the main attraction of going out for a meal!

thepeopleversuswork · 01/04/2022 11:11

I have to be honest I think this is miserable way to look at the world and I find it depressing.

A meal out is about so much more than the food or the quality of service.

This is a classic example of someone knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing.