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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate going out for a meal

262 replies

Bigbouncingbaby · 31/03/2022 19:59

I’ve always thought eating out was expensive…but since covid and not going out at all now I just can’t be bothered to go ! Every time I go out the service is crap or the food is crap . Then I get the bill at the end and think omg could of brought loads in Lidl for that 🤔😳 would much rather eat in but I think my husband just thinks I’m being miserable. Is it just me 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Mummyme87 · 31/03/2022 22:47

Yeah it’s expensive but I enjoy it.

EmmaH2022 · 31/03/2022 22:48

@Thatswhyimacat

I LOVE meals out, but then I live in London where there are amazing restaurants 10 minutes walk from anywhere. It is literally my favourite thing to do, I couldn't bear living somewhere that didn't have great restaurants.
I'm in London, in walking distance of loads. I don't really go.

Mostly they annoy me now as there's so many noisy bikes delivering for them.

user1487194234 · 31/03/2022 22:59

We eat out at least twice a week
Most of the time I could probably cook it better and certainly cheaper but to me that is not the point
Sometimes you just want to say fuck it we are going out for tea

19Bears · 31/03/2022 23:00

I find eating very similar to using the toilet. I don't want to sit around chatting with other people and be on display while I do it!!!! Give me a cosy little cave on my own and sausage egg and chips any day Grin

MurmuratingStarling · 31/03/2022 23:02

@Maskless

I used to think it was great and spent vast amounts of my income on eating out.

Gradually I came to my senses. Instead of wasting (say) £15 to £30 for a substandard meal (per person) in a restaurant, which isn't quite what I wanted, is cold, maybe bland, small portions etc, I push the boat out and buy pricey things like prawns, smoked salmon and steak in a supermarket and eat them at home.

It still works out cheaper! Even eating a whole £5 pack of smoked salmon to myself is cheaper than fish and chips from a chippy!

It's also the environment. In a restaurant I often find chairs are uncomfortable, you are overheard, you can hear other people's convos, sometimes people bash into your chair, the waiters are sometimes intrusively attentive, the music too loud or just not to my taste, the list goes on forever.

At home I can sit on a comfy chair or on the sofa, have the temperature I like, the food I like in the amounts I like, speak freely, play the music I prefer.

I'm now amazed at anyone enjoying eating out. Especially pizza - the biggest con going! About 50p worth of protein items, dotted thinly over a base that cost a penny, and you pay £15 for it. Huh.

@Maskless

Pretty much exactly what I think. I used to go out for meals with DH and DC that cost £30 a head, 20-25 years ago. (That's probably £55-£60 a head now.) Not including drinks.

Not a posh place either, or in the middle of London or Manchester or Birmingham or Brighton. Average place in an average town, that was often all fur coat and no knickers. Had a swanky name, little pods for people to sit it, and dim lighting, and thought it was something special and ramped up the prices.

I also think pizza from Pizza Hut, Pizza Express, Dominoes etc, is extortionate. DH and I get a Goodfellas frozen one from Morrisons for £3, and it takes 15 minutes to cook, and feeds both of us. £3! instead of £20 between us! It's a no-brainer.

Ditto fish and chips. Last time me and DH went to the chippy, (summer 2021,) we had a mini fish each, a bag of chips, and a large curry sauce. Cost £11. Cost around £7.50 about 2 years ago, but like everything, it has gone up massively. From Aldi we get 4 battered cod for £2.25, and a bag of chips that has 10 portions for £1.25, and Iceland does the 'chip shop curry sauce' for £1 for two. (and each one has enough in it for both of us.) So for about £4.50 we get 4 meals. The chippy would cost us £22 for the same.

And as you say, it's cosy at home, you can have what music you like on, or you can have a movie on, and you can have the temperature how you want it (I ALWAYS find restaurants HOT!) And you don't have loud obnoxious gits around, and annoying, naughty children.

As I said, I would rather pop out to a carvery at lunchtime for an hour and a half, and pay £5.99, and have a pint of coke for £2. Then tootle around the shops, and go home around 3pm. I HATE going out for meals in the evenings. Plus, the food sits on me something chronic if I fill my belly with a 3 course meal after 7.30pm! I don't know how people do it.

StoppinBy · 31/03/2022 23:11

I think it depends a bit on your cooking ability and the enjoyment you get from cooking.

When I was younger and couldn't cook very well I used to enjoy meals out, now that I enjoy cooking and have developed better skills, it's rare to eat something out and not think 'I could have done that a lot better at home and saved so much money' lol.

That being said, I go out for the company of whom I go with so the food is a far behind second to that.

user1487194234 · 31/03/2022 23:12

To be fair once a month we eat at a top level restaurant which is lovely

MurmuratingStarling · 31/03/2022 23:13

@user1487194234

To be fair once a month we eat at a top level restaurant which is lovely
Good for you! Thanks for telling us that. We'll all sleep a lot better now.
TebayOrNotTebay · 31/03/2022 23:17

@WildFlowerBees

I prefer going for coffee and cake these days, food in the restaurants I used to love is now below par and not worth it. I also hate the word meal.
Also hate the word “meal” . “Meal out” aaargh
user1487194234 · 31/03/2022 23:23

Fair enough
Just looking to clarify what we do 😀

MurmuratingStarling · 31/03/2022 23:31

@user1487194234

Fair enough Just looking to clarify what we do 😀
Sorry! That was unnecessarily sarcy of me ^^

trots off to naughty step,,,,,,,...... Blush

Vargas · 31/03/2022 23:36

@AmbushedByCake

I love it. Sitting, chatting, maybe a glass wine, actually getting to have a conversation instead of plating up. No cooking. No cleaning the fucking kitchen again. Everyone gets to choose what they enjoy instead of someone complaining. Brilliant.
This. 100% this.
nettie434 · 31/03/2022 23:39

[quote Bigbouncingbaby]@OldTinHat what a lovely idea didn’t even know that was a thing 🥰[/quote]
The ultimate restaurant like this is the Vincent Rooms which is part of Westminster Kingsway College:

www.thevincentrooms.co.uk/the-brasserie/

It's a lovely location near Victoria. It's not such a bargain as OldTinHat's lunch but it compares well with a lot of central London restaurants where the food is much worse quality but costs a lot more for the same type of menu.

The thing I've never tried but would like to is a supper club which aims to create a more relaxed meal but without the bother of shopping, cooking and washing up. There are even underground supper clubs which really do involve eating in someone's house.

I don't think you should feel apologetic for not enjoying eating out Bigbouncingbaby. Everyone's different and it doesn't mean you are 'joyless' as some posters suggested. Lots of people prefer to have a takeaway or supermarket 'dine in' meal rather than eat out.

RiverSkater · 31/03/2022 23:51

If I could afford it and didn't need to worry about my weight I'd eat out a lot more than I do!

But it is expensive. I'm out tomorrow and then I won't eat out for a few months.

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/04/2022 00:26

@Ionlydomassiveones

Yep the men in my family all feel the same. They feel ripped off paying say £16 for a pizza or a burger and £5 a tiny bottle of beer when for that money they could buy a supermarket pizza and a crate of beer. They feel very deeply and emotionally that they are being mugged in plain sight. My DH completely ruined a family treat at the River Cafe in Axminster once as he felt so violent about being ‘ripped off’ he went into a huge moody sulk and was quite rude to the waiter. (Totally out of character for him). My DB did a similar thing with his wife and friends at Rick Stein’s restaurant. My SIL is an excellent cook and he felt that what they were paying lots of money for was an insult.

We tend to go out without my DH now. I go with my kids or friends as I love being cooked for and the ambience. For family occasions he’ll be on his best behaviour now he’s older and wiser but I can still tell he’s seething…

@Ionlydomassiveones

Urgh such over indulged spoilt men!

I bet if they didn’t have those obliging, well culinary skilled women in their lives to feed them they would feel differently

ifIwerenotanandroid · 01/04/2022 00:29

I've found some wonderful places that cook things I can't make or wouldn't have thought of - but my problem is that my four favourite places have disappeared or been taken over & spoilt. This was before Covid.

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/04/2022 00:30

@MurmuratingStarling

“And as you say, it's cosy at home, you can have what music you like on, or you can have a movie on, and you can have the temperature how you want it (I ALWAYS find restaurants HOT!)”

Home might be cosy…But do you never get bored of it?! Especially after the last couple of years?! Never crave a change of scene, a bit of people watching, a liquor you might not have in the house, not having to cook and clean up as per every other night?

LuckySantangelo35 · 01/04/2022 00:34

@Maskless

But as people are pointing out part of the fun, the experience you are paying you are is the eating out.

Being in a restaurant, making an effort with your appearance, quality time with your partner or mates, being in a lovely setting, people watching, not having to cook and clean… it’s not all about the food, if it were far fewer people would eat out seeing as you can get decent sustenance down the supermarket

Grasping · 01/04/2022 01:15

I love it but choose the restaurant wisely.
I also love cooking at home together with DH

What we tend to do now is visit our local pub which has food visiting food trucks. We can order, take inside and have a drink.
I’m surprised no-one else has mentioned this.

SmellyOldOwls · 01/04/2022 01:25

@Maskless

PS there is one exception! A full English. Eggs, bacon, sausage, beans, mushrooms, hash browns, tomatoes, toast and tea.

That is worth paying for because at around a tenner you cannot recreate it at home for that price PLUS its a load of faffing and a load of washing up as there are so many components that each need a pan. Also it's hard at home to make everything ready at exactly the same time!

Why is it such a faff? You use the same pan for all items. Use the oven to keep the separate bits warm
Merlott · 01/04/2022 01:51

Breakfast is a doddle and no it doesn't all need a pan! Do you not have a grill and oven @Maskless ?
Order of operations:
Sosses and hash browns in oven
Bacon and tomatoes under grill
Mushrooms under grill or fried in pan
Beans in saucepan or microwave
Eggs fried in pan or scrambled, can use microwave for scrambled eggs also
Tea and toast in normal way
Orange juice on table

Once you have got the right order of operations it's no more than 30 mins for all prep and cooking to be done.

The trick is putting the stuff in the oven first and then doing the rest in decreasing order of how long it takes to cook.

Merlott · 01/04/2022 01:53

Also bemused how it could possibly cost more than £10 a head for the ingredients?! Even with pricey meat.

Potterurotter · 01/04/2022 06:14

Yanbu with budgets as tight as they are to go out for a mediocre meal with crap service just feels like a waste of time

iloveeverykindofcat · 01/04/2022 06:21

OP are you my mum?

Orders anything: I could make it at home for nothing.

It's literally like the old Goodness Gracious Me sketch when we eat out.

waltzingparrot · 01/04/2022 06:32

There are a lot of very mediocre restaurants around - you need to find the hidden gems in your area.