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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate going out for a meal

262 replies

Bigbouncingbaby · 31/03/2022 19:59

I’ve always thought eating out was expensive…but since covid and not going out at all now I just can’t be bothered to go ! Every time I go out the service is crap or the food is crap . Then I get the bill at the end and think omg could of brought loads in Lidl for that 🤔😳 would much rather eat in but I think my husband just thinks I’m being miserable. Is it just me 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
NeverEndingFireworks · 31/03/2022 20:49

I love eating out as a treat - but totally understand the disappointment. My last two meals out were 'meh' and yes, I am very judgey about the value compared with what I could do at home.

OTOH we had visiting relatives from overseas this week, doing the rounds of family and friends, and the only opportunity for us all to get together was breakfast in a local cafe - tbh it was fantastic, everyone getting something different, vegan, full English, just a black coffee etc and REALLY reasonable price wise. I'm now thinking that breakfast might be a better option for meals out in future!

EdenFlower · 31/03/2022 20:51

You're going to the wrong places if the service and food are crap.

I love eating out- either the local pub where it's good home cooked food in a friendly atmosphere, a great Italian, the local cheese and wine deli or somewhere more unusual- fabulous tapas in Manchester, the lovely country pub nearby that serves unusual dishes, even simple fish and chips in Whitby or a great burger and a beer when out shopping.

RoundGlass · 31/03/2022 20:52

We eat out three or four times a week. Eating out is my whole social life !!

If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. We can all decide where we spend our money and what our priorities are.

Westfacing · 31/03/2022 20:55

I love eating out - but from tomorrow it's going to be even more expensive when VAT on hospitality returns to 20%.

Laptopsandmouses · 31/03/2022 20:55

I think if you’re sitting counting what you could get in Lidl for the same price or if you could do it better youtself then it’s not about going out for you, the social occasion, rhe social time with someone, the occasion for you it’s just about the food and what you’re getting to eat so it’s maybe best to stay home

For me, I love it, a glass of wine, a steak someone cooks for me, getting semi dressed up, social time with friends and loved ones in a different environment, no tidy up. But for you it’s about how much food you get for the money and if you could get more at Lidl. We are all different.

JaceLancs · 31/03/2022 20:58

We don’t eat takeaways and eat out infrequently but push the boat out when we do
Who ever is booking or choosing does all the research - we try and choose cuisine that I would never cook at home
It’s my birthday next week and DS has already booked some fancy Michelin starred tasting experience
DP is taking me to good local Mediterranean restaurant next weekend
We also need to re book somewhere to take DM for Mother’s Day and her birthday as DB DSIL and I all had Covid

Roxy69 · 31/03/2022 20:59

Nope. Prefer my own food and hate driving somewhere miles away to eat something I don't really want at an inflated cost. I like meeting my friends but the whole meal thing is a drag.

KarmaD · 31/03/2022 21:01

Totally with you. I'm not into eating out at all. Much rather stay in in my comfies with the baba. Did all that in my teens and early 20s. Now its time to make time at home where I want to be than go places for other ppl.
If you're only going to make your partner feel better it needs voicing.

OldTinHat · 31/03/2022 21:01

I've not eaten out since I don't know when but had a three course lunch today. Absolutely divine food, amazing service. Cost me £6! Where? At the local college so the students cooked, served, waited, bar tended - all under supervision. It was a proper restaurant in the college.

If you resent the price of eating out OP (and I never eat out for the same reason and think how much food I could have bought from Aldi or Lidl instead), maybe look at your local college? They all seem to have discounted hair and beauty salons too. You could have a fabulous meal and it not cost you much more than a supermarket sandwich meal deal.

user1471554720 · 31/03/2022 21:02

Ionlydomassiveones

My dh and father are the same. I, on the other hand, love eating out. I only go out every 2 or 3 months, but I go without DH to restaurants. Luckily the female members of my family are the same as me.

I resent takeaway as it is only a bit better than heating up a frozen dinner.

If you don't like eating out, why not get cake and coffee every so often. It is an inexpensive treat and social.

oakleaffy · 31/03/2022 21:02

@gingerhills

because it was impossible to go out to eat most of the time for a couple of years, we saved up and then had three family dinners at Michelin starred restaurants. They were fun. The bill is a bit eye watering, but you pay for the incredible art work of each plate, and all the tiny amuse bouche between courses.

Why not try going out less often to nicer places.

“ Amuse bouche” What a lovely expression 🙂

Our young Whippet is a terrible chewer, and I noticed it’s things that are novel and interesting to chew that she goes for.

Literally “Amusing her bouche!”

Thanks for a great expression

Everydaydayisaschoolday · 31/03/2022 21:03

I am a great cook but even so I love eating out. Sometimes it isn't as good as I can make at home but the sheer pleasure of not having to clear up is worth it. It's also nice to have fried food without making the house smelly.

Pinchofnom · 31/03/2022 21:04

We’re big fans of eating out in this house. I love the atmosphere, not needing to cook and trying new foods.

cookiemonster2468 · 31/03/2022 21:04

Then I get the bill at the end and think omg could of brought loads in Lidl for that 🤔😳

This is a really silly way to look at eating out. Of course you could have bought loads in Lidl. Lidl is a cheap supermarket. They're not hosting you in their premises, serving you, cleaning up after you, and preparing and cooking your food. It's a daft analogy.

HereWeGoAgain322 · 31/03/2022 21:04

It's also all about the company you keep. I enjoy eating out. I love a good restaurant. We do it about 3 times a month.

whynotwhatknot · 31/03/2022 21:05

Depends who youre with-my sister always seems to order something she doesnt like oh i dont like creamy sauce it says it in the bloody description!

My dh is also either moany or orders the same thing everywhere-so with them i think whats the point

CrazyTimes123 · 31/03/2022 21:05

Completely agree - I was talked into an Indian Saturday night, somewhere that I use to love. Spent £46 and am still regretting nearly a week later !
Just can’t stop thinking that it wasn’t that great, and I could have brought loads of nice things in Aldi Sad

Jng1 · 31/03/2022 21:06

I enjoy the meeting up with friends, and the chat etc but unless it's a really posh restaurant I usually find the food disappointing.

I don't drink much and we socialise with people who do, and who also consider themselves wine experts Hmm and like port etc after a meal. The evening is usually spoilt when we divvy up the bill and I realise how much we end up cross-subsidising their share!
DH says we'll just look tight if we say anything! Angry

EmmaH2022 · 31/03/2022 21:08

@cookiemonster2468

Then I get the bill at the end and think omg could of brought loads in Lidl for that 🤔😳

This is a really silly way to look at eating out. Of course you could have bought loads in Lidl. Lidl is a cheap supermarket. They're not hosting you in their premises, serving you, cleaning up after you, and preparing and cooking your food. It's a daft analogy.

It's not meant as an analogy

It's how you feel when you eat out because your friend/whoever wants to and it really means something to them

Turns out there are bonuses to having lost friends over lockdown, lol.

user1471443411 · 31/03/2022 21:09

I do like going out for meals, but don't that often partly because of what you state, the disappointment of paying a fair amount of money for something mediocre or worse than you could do at home.
It's best if you go out less often, so it's more of a treat, to something from another country which would be tricky to do yourself; for us it's asian food - always much better at a restaurant or takeaway than anything we could do ourselves. Or, there a really nice Italian restaurant if it's just the two of us.

Patented · 31/03/2022 21:09

My enjoyment is tarnished at the back of my mind by knowing I could have done a weekly shop for one me that lasted two hours. So it's not as fun as it could be

Xpologog · 31/03/2022 21:09

@Bigbouncingbaby I’m glad it’s not just me. I hate eating out, find it a real ordeal.
Think it started as a child as my father made a horrendous fuss every time we went to a restaurant.
As I’ve got older I really don’t see the attraction, lots more interesting things to do.

galacticpixels · 31/03/2022 21:11

I don't really care to go out to eat food that I could make myself, but I love going out for food that I wouldn't do an amazing job at - we regularly go out to Vietnamese, Korean, Indian, Japanese, Thai and Mexican restaurants. Absolute favourite thing to do.

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 31/03/2022 21:11

'Could of brought' ?

shssandhr · 31/03/2022 21:12

I used to enjoy it before the pandemic but not anymore.
I'm in another country and we still have to wear masks anywhere but at the actual table. They've just stopped the whole checking of your vaccination certificate and having to register details too. Things that took away the enjoyment for me.
And now that we are sort of slowly coming out of the pandemic, all of a sudden the prices are extortionate - and I appreciate everything is becoming more expensive because of fuel price rises- But it's got to the point where, for me, it isn't worth the money any more for mediocre food and not great service, and drinks which cost an arm and a leg.

And during the pandemic I spent a lot of time learning to cook Greek, Indian and Mexican food which are my favourites so I'd rather cook at home cheaply. The nuisance of having to wash up and clean the kitchen is annoying but with prices so high in restaurants I am prepared to put up with it.