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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To any Jehovah's witnesses out there, would you PLEASE.............

171 replies

lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 16:22

just leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!

I am very comfortable with my religeon thankyou very much (cathoic). I do not wish to discuss it, end of story.

Just after christmas, a lovely looking young girl with what i presume was her husband (i mean, she was really beautiful!!) Stood with her foot in my door and pushed a leaflet about death into my handsm telling me i shouldnt worry as death isnt the end. I suffer with depression, i know all about death thankyou very much, i lost my father to cancer and ever since i have had a pathological fear of dying for which i am receiving medical treatment. So, thanks for that!! That reminded me of the time i had a leaflet forced on me in the sreet, i was too polite to decline - this one was about when a child dies, i was pushing my buggy at the time - fucking great!

This morning, just over a week later, I am running late, so i am already stressed. I am TRYING to brush my little girls hair, and this is the only thing in the world that she HATES. The door knocks, im expecting my mother, so i plonk DD (who has just let out a blood curdling scream as i hit a tangle) wailing, on the floor. Answer the door, thinking it was my mum, i didnt bother to restrain my dog, who promptly runs past the two smartly dressed old dears standing at my door, making a bee line for the road (they have left the gate open). I have to barge past them to retrieve him. They then say, have we come at a bad time dear???

We are jehovahs witnesses, they say, should we come back another time . No, please don't, please dont ever come back, please just leave me alone. I have no desire to discuss my damnation with you, as i am not a good catholic, i dont go to church and i am not married to my daughters father, so i am bound surely to burn in hell anyway!

Im sorry, i know these people genuinely mean well, but surely they could put their energy to better use. I imagine some lonely and vulnerable old lady, desperate for some company may well invite these parasites into her home, only to have her head filled with hellfire damnation and will spend the rest of the day sitting fretting.

If you want to do God's work, and i really think that is admirable, i really do, then DO something, go and volunteer at the local homeless shelter, go and join the local hospital legue of friends, do ANYTHING but knock on my door - i am running out of polite ways to say i am not interested

OP posts:
nametaken · 07/01/2008 17:14

Yes Aimsmum they have special help and consultants, they are also offered blood substitutes like plasma, I think, which their religion does allow but is very expensive.

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 17:15

Where did you find that Aimsmum? Wikipedia??

Just teasing

I agree, i dont think JW do let their children die, i dont say that i agree with the withholding of blood products aspect, i would be interested to know why, but you are right when you say about the JW consultants, i believe that there is a temporary blood replacement fluid, however i think, and i could be wrong, that ultimately blood has to be used. I wonder if they would accept genetically modified pigs blood? It is ok for them to eat meat, so maybe? Im not being trite, it could be a genuine answer to that particular problem, and could be worth researching.

OP posts:
loopylou6 · 07/01/2008 17:20

i dont understand it really, why wont they have blood transfusions? is it coz they think if god decides its time for them to die then that should not be interfered with?

loopylou6 · 07/01/2008 17:21

but then they dont even believe in our god do they?

makingnosense · 07/01/2008 17:21

I hate these type of threads. If you dont want them calling, then you tell them that and they will not call on you. They are only doing what they feel is right. If you thought something bad was going to happen, wouldn't you want to tell as many people as possible? That's what they do. Do you honestly think its an easy thing for them to go to strangers doors and get all manner of comments and nastiness thrown at them? My friend at school was a JW and got picked on something rotten. She was a totally decent girl who didn't deserve the criticisms she got.I still keep in touch with her, as she always impressed me with her kindness and good nature. As regards blood transfusions, people really need to have the knowledge about these things before they start criticising the decisions these people make. JW's are well informed regarding risks or lack of regarding blood transfusions and there are lots of alternative treatments to blood, which in many cases are far healthier. Ask any doctor/ surgeon about bloodless surgery and you will find that the statistical risks are less than a surgery involving blood. The point is.. they dont go into this blindly. They do it with their eyes wide open. Do you know all the risks of surgery with blood or without? Or do you blindly accept whatever's offered you?

Misdee · 07/01/2008 17:26

[sits on hands]

nice thread this huh.

[walks away]

loopylou6 · 07/01/2008 17:26

i think what the OP was saying is that its not really fair that they going round knocking on peoples doors, and for what its worth i have NEVER known a JW to just leave when told politely, they ALWAYS try and argue their case and IMO are very very pushy, now can u tell me you would like it if u had someone on your doorstep telling you that u REALLY have to have a mortgage/life insurace/washing machine whatever, because its "the right way to go" and after you had politely declined they still went on at u, i think u might be tempted to be rude and shut the door in their faces because theya re invading your personal space. Its the same sitution with JW.

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 17:37

I knew i should have kept my big mouth shut, or fingers to myself - i just wanted to rant really. I have never ever been rude to a JW ever! i just find it upsetting to have leaflets about death put into my hands before i can even look to see what it is about - that is my problem really. This morning, it could have been anyone at the door to bring on my wrath, as it was, it was two very polite JWs, who i declined very politely and saved my rant for MNet!!

So, there, i am a nice person, i am a nice person, i am a nice person.

Now i feel guilty

OP posts:
makingnosense · 07/01/2008 17:39

Idont doubt you are a nice person, and I meant no offence in my post either. I just know that if you tell them you dont wish to be called on again, they take a note of your address and will not call again. If you really cant stand the thought of a visit off them, then say so. They aren't all pushy you know!

MaryAnnSingleton · 07/01/2008 17:41

you are a nice person - I always just say no thank you when they call and they accept it I think !

lizziemun · 07/01/2008 17:44

I can understand how you feel. As someone who doesn't beleive in god, although i have an interest in people beleives IYKWIM.

I do think that they should make a note of houses which have asked not to bothered and as you say leave them/us alone.

FWIW we had jehovah's witnesses know on my mil door twice on boxing day, the first time we were polite and said no thanks and 5 minutes later he knocked again and started preaching, now for us boxing day id one of the few days a year that everyone is together as both BIL work aboard.

I have also worked with a born again christan and he was even worse.

Wisteria · 07/01/2008 17:47

LEM - PMSL

My Dad had a fool proof way to get rid of them!

He always said the best thing to do was to keep some RC literature by the front door and when they stand on your doorstep, answer the door in rather a creepy way and say 'oh do come in and have a cup of tea, I would love to compare our faiths'

According to Dad they always buggered off immediately and never came back!

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 17:50

no offence taken, cos im so nice .

I do want to make it clear though that i didnt want to pick on JWs in respect of their beliefs, re bloods etc, that is their religion and whatever my thoughts on that, i respect their choice.

I will remember to politely ask them not to call again next time they come - if i can bring myself to do so, on account of being so nice

OP posts:
Misdee · 07/01/2008 17:50

lizziemum they do,.contact your local kingdom hall and ask them to mark your house as a 'do not call'.

glaskham · 07/01/2008 17:53

only read OP- but i tell you what you sound exactly like me....

i have so much sympathy for you!!

we have a couple of johovas whitness (sp? and cant be bothered to scroll up to see!!) who come round about once every 2 weeks...they are such a lovely little couple, they know a lad who used to work for my dh who was also a lovely lad, but when dh's great gran died i swear he told everyone in the kingdom hall here and we had (and this is no joke) 5 couples come knocking within a week!! all thrusting death magazine things in our hands, making polite chat etc...now one of the couples try to see us every couple of weeks, they have given us both a bible, every 2 weeks come with new magazines and chat....i've even tried telling them we were moving (which wasn't a full lie as we'd been looking to move) but they still keep knocking and now they came this morning and made an arrangment with dh (as for once he was in so when i saw them coming up the drive i made him get the door) to come round for an in depth chat next monday!!! ARGH!!!! i'm going out for the morning!! leaving him here....

thing is we're to polite to just say we dont wanna become JW's!! we respect their faith but we are happy as we are and dont belive what they believe....dh text the lad who used to work with him earlier and said how do we tell them politley that we dont want them to come and he just said to tell them!!!

Wisteria · 07/01/2008 17:55

What I found a little odd the other day was when I went to proofread for a magazine (unbeknownst to me operated and run by JWs), of course I put many a foot in it by warbling Happy Christmas to them as I left etc but they were lovely people and didn't either try to convert me or look cross at my festive cheer.

I'll get to the point - they were trying to shove red and white wine down my throat at 11.30am (which I politely declined) yet completely berated another colleague (non JW) for going to have a cigarette

I always thought they weren't trying to convert you as such, as they don't appreciate or welcome outsiders to their church (think they're the chosen race or something) - they just want you to buy the magazines and know that you won't go to their heaven or whatever as you are not the chosen race.....

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 17:56

normally it is enough that i say i am a catholic, they accept this. Once though, a guy, i am not sure if he was a JW actually as he was on his own, told me that it was even worse for me that i wouldnt take his literature as that meant i wawsnt devout!!! something like that

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 17:56

normally it is enough that i say i am a catholic, they accept this. Once though, a guy, i am not sure if he was a JW actually as he was on his own, told me that it was even worse for me that i wouldnt take his literature as that meant i wawsnt devout!!! something like that

OP posts:
Original poster
lucyellensmum · 07/01/2008 17:56

normally it is enough that i say i am a catholic, they accept this. Once though, a guy, i am not sure if he was a JW actually as he was on his own, told me that it was even worse for me that i wouldnt take his literature as that meant i wawsnt devout!!! something like that

OP posts:
MummyDoIt · 07/01/2008 17:58

Our local lot have started bringing young children with them when they call which I am very uncomfortable with.

lizziemun · 07/01/2008 18:01

missdee

To be fair a houses tucked behind other houses, so we don't have them call.

Wisteria · 07/01/2008 18:01

LEM - we're not doorstepping you - you don't have to say it 3 times

calzone · 07/01/2008 18:03

just to clarify the point about the 22 year old who died who was a JW......

IT WAS TOTALLY the fault of the hospital and nothing to do with the religion.

She was left unattended with an epidural and was unable to feel the fact she was losing so much blood. She lost 4 pints of blood because of the negligence of the hospital and the fact no one was monitoring her. They would not have been able to save her after this.

Do you really think she wanted to die? Of course not. Everything available was done to her to save her life.

Yet again the damn media get involved and gives witnesses, who do no harm to anyone, a bad name.

Maybe one day, you should just ask why they call.

Misdee · 07/01/2008 18:07

mummydoit, of course they bring their kids with them, usually the whole family is in the religion and they go out together.

i actually had a couple knock here yesterdaymorning with their two tots. i was still in my pj's. they know me, as was raised in the religion. they didnt know i lived here though (usually on sundays i would zipping down to harefield at the time they called). they had a quick chat, diodnt offer the magazines, asked how peter was, and said how nice it was to see us.

calzone · 07/01/2008 18:08

Wisteria....get your facts right before you write them down!

everyone is welcome to JW meetings and no one is forced to 'buy' the magazines as they are voluntary contributions and are non profit making.

They do not believe they are the chosen race and dont even believe they are going to heaven when they die.