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AIBU?

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Original poster

Was she being weird / a suck up?

37 replies

hellohello2022 · 31/03/2022 11:53

Went to a hen weekend a month or so ago. Great fun, everyone got along and clearly a lot effort had been put in by the bridesmaids.

Attended the wedding last weekend and found out that one of the other attendees had sent the 3 bridesmaids flowers as a 'thank you' for organising. BUT she'd signed it from all that had attended. She did not mention it to us or ask for money but still signed it from the group.

Is this not a bit weird / presumptuous?

OP posts:
crabbitmaw · 31/03/2022 11:57

I think it sounds very thoughtful and the fact she signed from everyone indicates the opposite of your assumption; she was being kind on behalf of everyone.

I suppose it boils down to how much the bridesmaids actually done. If they just sent out a whatsapp with info and everyone showed up & paid their own way, then a thankyou gift is perhaps OTT.

If they spent a lot of time researching, booking, informing people or perhaps even chipping in more money, then a thankyou seems appropriate.

Pandypuff · 31/03/2022 11:57

No, it's really kind and thoughtful and generous of her to make a lovely gesture like this and sign on behalf of people who didn't contribute in any way to the nice gesture?? How can anyone be annoyed about this???

Pandypuff · 31/03/2022 11:58

I can't get my head around this. She paid by herself yet signed on behalf of all of you so you all seem kind, without contributing at all. And you're upset?!?

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 31/03/2022 12:01

You're the weird one here.

Someone sent a thoughtful thank you to people who organised a lovely weekend for you, and you've turned it into them being presumptuous Confused

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 31/03/2022 12:02

I think it’s a nice gesture that she signed it from the group and didn’t worry about asking for money. Stop being mean spirited sometimes people are just nice.

As the saying goes “we don’t see them as they are we them as we are”

Ski4130 · 31/03/2022 12:03

It's a nice gesture, and doesn't sound like she wanted any recognition, or money for it, so you sound weird for being upset by it to be honest.

nearlyspringyay · 31/03/2022 12:03

No, it was a nice thing to do. If she did it and then asked you for £50 without discussion, that would be weird.

incognitoforthisone · 31/03/2022 12:11

Er, no? She just did a nice thing and didn't bother the rest of you about it. It was nice of her send the flowers and extremely generous of her to sign it from everyone without asking for a contribution. She's probably well aware that everyone had already spent a lot of money attending the hen do, and didn't want to pester people for more in case they felt unable to say no.

Basically, she made a nice gesture, and you are now resentful because you secretly know that you would never do something that nice/generous yourself, and subconsciously that has made you feel inferior to her.

JackieWeaversLaptop · 31/03/2022 12:15

I think it was a lovely and kind gesture. I’m not sure why you’re upset or think she’s being weird.

AWombleScorned · 31/03/2022 12:17

It’s the opposite Confused she didn’t do it in a showy way, she didn’t ask anyone else to contribute, and she didn’t show the rest of you up by being the only one to send flowers in thanks. What actually is the problem?!

Wren44 · 31/03/2022 12:17

How is this lovely gesture being weird/ suck up in any way?

AWombleScorned · 31/03/2022 12:17

Ah I’ve just worked out this is a reverse 🙄

WeDontShutUpAboutBruno · 31/03/2022 12:19

@AWombleScorned

Ah I’ve just worked out this is a reverse 🙄
Ahhhh that makes sense.

Either way the op is a twat then, reverses are so bloody stupid.

Original poster
hellohello2022 · 31/03/2022 12:20

@AWombleScorned not a reverse.

Somehow everyone knows it was her that sent them. Only she could have told people!

OP posts:
Templeblossom · 31/03/2022 12:21

@hellohello2022

Went to a hen weekend a month or so ago. Great fun, everyone got along and clearly a lot effort had been put in by the bridesmaids.

Attended the wedding last weekend and found out that one of the other attendees had sent the 3 bridesmaids flowers as a 'thank you' for organising. BUT she'd signed it from all that had attended. She did not mention it to us or ask for money but still signed it from the group.

Is this not a bit weird / presumptuous?

Very odd. Why would people who attended a hen do send flowers?Confused You are invited, you go and enjoy it, thank you as you leave. The hen do is for the bride not the attendees. Flowers from the Bride -yes, attendee Not to even mention it is even wierder.
Templeblossom · 31/03/2022 12:21

Atendee-no

Original poster
hellohello2022 · 31/03/2022 12:22

@Templeblossom exactly!!'

OP posts:
Tiger401 · 31/03/2022 12:22

What a lovely bridesmaid.

You're a weirdo.

Oldtiredfedup · 31/03/2022 12:23

You’re projecting. You feel slighted by this in some way and do you have to make her the bad guy

Abaababa · 31/03/2022 12:25

Gawd, you sound very paranoid and assuming the worst in people, ‘she must have told everyone’. Have a deeper look into your beliefs and orientation in life. This is unlikely the first time you’ve done this.

Templeblossom · 31/03/2022 12:25

@Tiger401

What a lovely bridesmaid.

You're a weirdo.

She wasnt a bridesmaid! The bridesmaids organised the hen do for the bride One of the attendees sent the flowers to the bridesmaids. Its a bit odd, the flowers should have been sent by the bride to her bridesmaids.
Arucanafeather · 31/03/2022 12:26

I can’t bear anyone (in-laws I’m looking at you!) putting my name to anything without my permission! My Mum likes to do it too now that my Dad has died, despite her parents or inlaws doing it to them - but she doesn’t just do it - she asks nicely and accepts a no; so I usually say yes.

Nietzschethehiker · 31/03/2022 12:26

What a ridiculous immature thing to call someone a suck up? Am I missing something ? Are you an adult going on a hen do or are you possibly a teenager who is family who was invited?

The reason I ask is grown adults as a rule don't say such silly things?

Even if she did mention it to someone, quietly she did a nice thing on the face of it and even gave credit to others, why on earth are you being silly about " sucking up" ? If you are an adult you might need to rethink your behaviour.

Raizin · 31/03/2022 12:27

She's been extra, but don't dwell on it.

Rosebuud · 31/03/2022 12:33

How lovely of her. Is there some reason you don’t want to be included. Jist email the three bridesmaids and say I want no part of this and feel it was presumptious. May as well own who you are.