To think that bringing cakes into work is a bit try hard

[Cateyes113]

Fair enough if it's for an special event or something. It's a nice gesture, but I think bringing in cakes for everyone 'just because' is people trying to be liked and win people over. Maybe I'm just miserable.

At my last school o bonged to the cake crew. We took turns to bake cakes and share on Mondays. Made Mondays more manageable.

Blimey you’re a joy hoover aren’t you?

CoalTit Thank you so much. Before the pandemic they were aiming to get a static library in Africa so hopefully that can start up again now. If I don't take in some salted chocolate tiffin when I drop in they want to know the reason why!
Librarians will do anything for cake!

I wish somebody would bring me in a piece of cake or cup cake or even offer me a polo .🙁

Yes, you are miserable.

Lol you are definitely being unreasonable! I love it when colleagues bring I cake 😋

Can't it just be a lovely thing to do ?
I sometimes leave chocolate on colleagues desks or a bag of something in the staff room ...I do it because it might make someone smile ...and making someone smile is worth it .

It’s not ‘lovely’ for those of us with eating disorders. Nor for people who want to lose weight, with dental problems, blood sugar and so on.

Where I work - a big office - it’s the main way people seek to do something nice for colleagues, so pre covid there was food out v frequently.

I get that some people like it. But some of us find it stressful. And not to like ‘hyperpalatable’ foods frequently being offered in the workplace - in private - is just a preference. Not an indicator that we are, more generally, ‘miserable’, ‘grumpy’, ‘joy hoover’ etc.

Agree that the OP was unkind to interpret people’s motives as ‘try hard’. I think the reasons we bring food to acquaintances / others are varied, complicated and interesting.

You old misery! I love baking but DH works away a lot. So when I bake I take/took cakes in to work to get rid of them!

I couldn't care if someone chose not to eat them because they didn't know how clean my kitchen was, what was in the cakes, didn't like the taste, had gone GF, thought I was posing, etc etc etc etc. Not my problem.

My problem was an excess of cake! Problem solved by the enjoyment of colleagues.

It’s not ‘lovely’ for those of us with eating disorders. Nor for people who want to lose weight, with dental problems, blood sugar and so on.

Again, in the real world, not really my problem, I live my life as anyone else lives theirs. Though I would avoid anyone with a real eating disorder if I was aware. Sadly this is too often dismissed as a fad, see those who go GF for fun! DSis being coeliac means I have a range of GF cakes, but I don't like them and most people notice the difference, so I don't bake them for friends/fun!

The proportion of people with a health issue and/or desire to avoid consuming these kinds of foods frequently isn’t small. The daily ‘food environment’, and others’ behaviours such as offering food at work, is challenging for us.

For those people, you’re not doing a nice thing, quite the opposite.

Presumably so that you can enjoy your hobby but avoid you and your H consuming more of those foods than you prefer to.

Colleagues - or strangers in your H’s workplace - with an ED are unlikely to tell people about it!

@Loopytiles

The proportion of people with a health issue and/or desire to avoid consuming these kinds of foods frequently isn’t small. The daily ‘food environment’, and others’ behaviours such as offering food at work, is challenging for us.

For those people, you’re not doing a nice thing, quite the opposite.

Presumably so that you can enjoy your hobby but avoid you and your H consuming more of those foods than you prefer to.

So what is the world supposed to do? Who has precedence in such situations? Whay do I need to be the one who gatekeeps someone elses health? Nobody does that for me, after all.

In real life, the one most of us live in, we all have our issues, we all have our joys. We live with them accordingly. We rarely ask everyone else to change their lives to accommodate us. Only in places like MN do those who have the 'abnormal' view demand precedence and judge those who carry on as normal.

Think about it... how would I know who in any office has any health issue? Nobody I work with is aware of mine, I don't publicise it, I live with it, my employer deals with it appropriately, confidentially. Unless you want to live in a hermetically sealed bubble or to tell everyone about every health issue you have and demand they cater to it every second of every day they are in vague proximity to you, you have to live in the world that does actually exist! Like the rest of us!

Cross posted because I took a phone call mid typing!

That was the point @Loopytiles I wouldn't know. But I don't think it at all reasonable to expect everyone to behave as though everyone else has an ED, MH issue, health isse etc etc etc.

It's just a nice thing to do. I don't because I can't/won't bake but I can appreciate the efforts of others.

YABU. Cake is good. Unfortunately at our work people have been put off doing it because every time they sent round an email to say there was cake there would be a flurry of emails in reply asking if there were any gluten free or lactose free etc so it all got a bit awkward.

That's the kind of thing I mean @BookkeeperBobby

No appreciation for freebies, just demands!

I get that some people like it. But some of us find it stressful. And not to like ‘hyperpalatable’ foods frequently being offered in the workplace - in private - is just a preference. Not an indicator that we are, more generally, ‘miserable’, ‘grumpy’, ‘joy hoover’ etc.

@Loopytiles the people that have referred to the OP as miserable etc is because of saying but I think bringing in cakes for everyone 'just because' is people trying to be liked and win people over

What you’re saying is completely different. I take cakes in regularly, for my birthday, work anniversary, changing jobs, pay day, trying out a new recipe. I’ve done it for 30 years of working. At my first employers if someone brought in cakes or sweets you literally would have to go person to person and ask them if they would like a cake. Most would say yes, some would decline. I doubt anyone is being forced to eat cake and if a person feels uncomfortable, they can always say no or take a cake and say they’ll take it home eat it later. When they get home they can bin it. The last thing that anyone bringing in a treat wants to do is make someone feel uncomfortable. Selfishly, I just hope that the stress of one person doesn’t mean that a cake day becomes a thing of the past.

Yes, appreciate that the comments concerned OP’s take on people’s reasons for bringing in food, although many also implied that people who dislike this are miserable etc.

In any workplace it will probably not be ‘just one person’ who finds it negative or stressful. X% will have eating disorders. X% other health issues meaning the food isn’t a good idea to consume. X% seeking to lose weight, avoid the food, whatever.

For all those people food decisions are rarely as simple as ‘just leave it if you don’t want it’. If only!

God you sound joyless

@Loopytiles

Colleagues - or strangers in your H’s workplace - with an ED are unlikely to tell people about it!

I’m sorry, but the entire office cannot revolve around the possibility that one person might have an eating disorder and be stressed by the presence of food.

Food, eating, cooking for others and food as a gift are a normal part of human society and culture. All cultures and societies bond through eating together or sharing food. I appreciate that is very hard for you, but it is your issue to manage and it’s not reasonable to project it on to everyone around you. People are entitled to eat nice things and to bake for others, and although you find that difficult to be around, you can simply cannot expect everyone around you change their perfectly normal behaviour to accommodate you.

@SamphiretheStickerist

It’s not ‘lovely’ for those of us with eating disorders. Nor for people who want to lose weight, with dental problems, blood sugar and so on.

Again, in the real world, not really my problem, I live my life as anyone else lives theirs. Though I would avoid anyone with a real eating disorder if I was aware. Sadly this is too often dismissed as a fad, see those who go GF for fun! DSis being coeliac means I have a range of GF cakes, but I don't like them and most people notice the difference, so I don't bake them for friends/fun!

If someone wants to lose weight or has dental issues or whatever the onus is really on them not to eat cake, not for other people not to bring it in.

Not projecting or saying anything to anyone in RL, just giving opinions on MN.

In most workplaces there will be way more than one person with an eating disorder, food issues or other health issues.

In some places, perhaps even the majority of colleagues would prefer that people didn’t bring in ‘hyperpalatable’ foods as often. It’s just socially difficult to say so!

A key issue is frequency: at my place it was several times a week, every week, all year.

Arguments here: ‘Just eat less’ ‘just say no’. Not that simple for most people, not just those of us with ED.

Lots of research shows that the UK ‘food environment’ has changed in past decades and that it doesn’t help most individual people take good decisions about food. Workplace food (outside of colleagues heading for social meals together) is just one part of that.

@KarenOLantern

is people trying to be liked and win people over

So what? If that's what it is then it works as far as I'm concerned.

Hm yes. The anti-cakers seem jealous to me. If you brought in something, everyone would like you too, why not try it instead of moaning?