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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about this GP?

29 replies

Hair345 · 29/03/2022 08:37

I'm going through a really stressful time, won't go into it but a lot of stuff has happened recently which has caused a lot of grief and stress for me.

This has caused a bit flare up of psoriasis on my scalp. It's everywhere and coming down my forehead. It looks utterly awful, my hair is constantly full of it and itchy and it's really noticeable when looking at me. It's making me feel even worse than I already do.

I went to see the GP about it again to see if we can try something else and I was explaining why it's making me feel mentally so shit, it's embarrassing being so obvious on my head and in my hair and I'm concerned about my hair coming out.

Anyway, he didn't really comment on what I'd said other than to suggest another course of medication but then said 'oh and remember, it is only hair, but I know how you girls can get about your hair' with a little laugh as if I was being totally OTT to be so upset and embarrassed at the state of my hair and head.

I've come away feeling like I've been totally patronised and like I'm silly for being so worried about it.

Yes my hair is a big deal, yes I want my hair to look nice and yes it is affecting my mental health that it doesn't.

AIBU to say something to the surgery?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 29/03/2022 08:39

He was trying to make you feel better. Yabu.

Sundancerintherain · 29/03/2022 08:40

I would definitely say something, gp sounds like a patronizing git.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 29/03/2022 08:44

@Sundancerintherain

I would definitely say something, gp sounds like a patronizing git.
Me too,ffs!
EatSleepReplete · 29/03/2022 08:45

Unless you're under 18, I'd complain about him referring to you as a girl. Girl implies child. So yes, patronising git.

Original poster
Hair345 · 29/03/2022 08:46

@RedHelenB

He was trying to make you feel better. Yabu.
Literally nothing he said made me feel better remotely. Reassuring me my hair wouldn't fall out or that they were taking it seriously would have made me feel better. Not essentially telling me to stop being silly because it's only hair.
OP posts:
Original poster
Hair345 · 29/03/2022 08:46

@EatSleepReplete

Unless you're under 18, I'd complain about him referring to you as a girl. Girl implies child. So yes, patronising git.
Nope! I'm 28
OP posts:
Punxsutawney · 29/03/2022 08:47

Could you also ask for a dermatology referral? Sounds like you could do with some more specialist advice.

BlueFlavour · 29/03/2022 08:48

I would say something. He’s minimising your feelings. Not ok.
Hope things get better for you Flowers

dollymuchymuchness · 29/03/2022 08:52

Firstly, I’m so sorry to read about your health problems. Secondly, there are now drugs available to virtually put a stop to your psoriasis. My friend has had this drug and it’s like a miracle. Do your research and inform yourself and insist on a referral to a consultant dermatologist.

Thirdly, put a letter in writing to the practice manager outlining your complaint. 💐

CrispyWhispy · 29/03/2022 08:52

He was dismissing you, he doesn't understand the impact of psoriasis. My GP did something extremely similar, refused to prescribe anything for a full body breakout and told me I should just moisturise.

I'm honestly so sick of my GP. Completely incompetent.

Definitely put in a complaint OP. Even if, like mine the practice manager is just as incompetent, he might at least think twice about such dismissive comments.

dollymuchymuchness · 29/03/2022 08:56

@Hair345 have you had a look at the NICE guidelines for Psoriasis?

MajorCarolDanvers · 29/03/2022 08:58

If you don't complain he will carry on thinking it's fine to talk to women like that.

Please do complain.

MaitlandGirl · 29/03/2022 09:03

I also have psoriasis on my scalp and although the GP hasn’t been able to prescribe anything (nothing is suitable for me personally) my GP has been so supportive.

I would complain about his attitude; patronising platitudes aren’t appropriate from a GP.

She’s an Indian lady (this is relevant) and she understands how important hair is as it’s culturally important within her faith. She totally gets it. She was so upset she couldn’t prescribe my anything but I never once felt as if the appointment was pointless.

CatsandDogs22 · 29/03/2022 09:03

He sounds awful. Clearly has no idea how painful and embarrassing psoriasis is. Complain, see someone else and get a referral to a dermatologist. If that dermatologist is crap, try see another one. The first one my mum took me to as a teenager said I should just stop shaving my legs. In a tropical country where our school uniforms were short. Safe to say I didn’t have the confidence as a 14 year old girl to ignore the comments about the hair AND the rash (which didn’t go away by just stopping shaving btw). The second one I saw worked out that the treatment for eczema was bringing out psoriasis - meaning I had one over the top of the other and that’s why the combo of symptoms stumped the GP. Nothing to do with shaving. With his concoction I got on top of it finally. Psoriasis horrible and any doctor who says otherwise does not deserve the title

TheMoreYouKnow · 29/03/2022 09:09

No pointing complaining they will say he was just trying to reassure you. Maybe he had a patientvin with a life threatening condition beforehand and was comparing that in his head? Not saying its right what he said but pick your arguments carefully. You may be labelled as a complainer in the future if there is something you need to complain about in the future. I'd keep a note of note what he said with the date etc just incase there are other things that arise from your appt with him. Request a specialist appt and maybe consider asking to see someone else at the the practise?

TheMoreYouKnow · 29/03/2022 09:10

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Must be bloody awful.Flowers

minniep · 29/03/2022 09:14

He sounds awful. Can you change GP? I suffer from the same thing OP which thankfully hasn't flared up in a few years. It's absolutely awful when it happens so I really sympathise. My eyelids were usually affected as well and behind my ears.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 29/03/2022 09:18

Go see a different GP. If needs be solely to discuss your mental health. A genuinely kind, empathetic and interested GP can make all the difference in the world.

Ethelfromnumber73 · 29/03/2022 09:22

Yes, definitely complain - he needs some training on how to communicate

Also sending sympathy- scalp psoriasis is horrendous. However, I took up running four years ago and as I got fit, mine subsided and hasn't given me any problems since. Not sure if it's coincidence or if my inflammatory response has somehow been dampened- thought might be worth passing on Thanks

montysma1 · 29/03/2022 09:30

I have scalp psoriasis and its horrible and itchy and sore.
For years controlled by a fabulous potion called Xamiol which put it away for weeks on end.
Just started on do etbibg called Apremasil as it was starting to affect my train rather than just scalp and elbows. This seems to be working rather fabulously after just 10 days.

Sadly nothing much seems works on the psorriatic arthritis which affects me much more than the skin stuff which generally doesn't bother me too much.
Get a different doctor. There are effective meds out there and new ones all the time.

Ohyesiam · 29/03/2022 09:32

I imagine it was a light hearted comment that was clumsily meant to make you feel better.
I would feed back what you thought was lacking and what you thought didn’t work in the consultation, but I wouldn’t complain.

ChloeHel · 29/03/2022 10:02

Whilst the comment was thoughtless I don’t think it warrants a complaint. Sadly as humans we sometimes speak without thinking.

I have mainly found with patients that steroid creams seem to make psoriasis worse or soon after stopping them it comes back with a vengeance. DH had it quite bad and the only thing that seemed to work for a while was Childs farm shampoo! Also taking daily Vitamin D can help as well as trying a vitamin D cream (prescription) if you haven’t already tried.

It’s not a nice condition to have and it’s one that can take time to find the right treatment for you! I hope you get some treatment that helps you OP.

coffeeisthebest · 29/03/2022 10:10

Totally hear your pain OP. I have psoriasis that has covered my whole body in the past. Your GP was dismissive and you should proceed in whichever way you feel is necessary.
In terms of scalp psoriasis tho, I also second using really gentle child's farm type shampoos and soaps for a while. That always helps mine. I also take vitamin D. My psoriasis has got worse since I had my Covid booster vaccine I am sure of it so I am trying to be super careful with what I use on my skin currently. Take care and hope it calms down soon.

Ethelfromnumber73 · 29/03/2022 12:49

Just to add that my mum had alopecia and often felt at her wits end due to comments like this from GPs. It's not okay and it's also bloody sexist

Darkstar4855 · 29/03/2022 12:51

He probably meant well but it definitely needs feeding back.