Annoyed at friend - ill neediness

[Claddinghell]

Lighthearted and probably my cold filled brain not thinking correctly.

My male friend and I have a flirty vibe. Always there for each other and had a few days out that we each commented felt like dates. He lives 30 mins drive away so only see each other every few weeks, but text daily.

He had covid a few months ago and said he had no one close by to ask for a food drop. Lives in a remote area and couldn’t get a delivery slot. I picked him up food and dropped it off.

I was in a risky covid situation at the weekend. Basically someone I knew collapsed and I helped until ambulance arrived. Had a mask on, but the person tested positive for covid. I have been lateral flow testing daily but today gone downhill rapidly, so went for a PCR.

Jokes today on text I was feeling needy, rough and running out of food. He replied you are needy and I live too far away. Feel utterly annoyed at him. No nice text or I can I help or any sympathy. Just live too far away and stop being needy.

My reply thanks and ignored. Feel annoyed, but think my ill head is clouding my judgement. Think I need to vent.

I do have friends close by who would help. Just wanted a nicer text from my good friend.

Hope you feel better asap

“I lived close enough when you were ill and needy”

Hes done nice things in the past (when it suited him).

He didn't do it this time though did he, when you wanted him.

@incognitoforthisone that’s true. He was really nice to me st Xmas when I had to isolate waiting a very long PCR result. Difference was he had come my way to see family - so not out my way.

Yes he only drops things off to people who live close to him. But only if they ask.

Thursday is because he is in my area. But got myself sorted with online delivery so all good.

Just disappointed that he doesn’t seem to care. I called him and he texted back to say he was with his kid doing an activity. Speak later

He’s nice to you when it suits him easily. If it doesn’t, he isn’t. Sounds like you are finding that realisation hard to accept. You are ill though which can make things like this harder. Can you not just forget about him for now? He’s not the person for tricky times or a crisis.

@SparklingLime he just called to check. I think he does care as he said he was my way for work tomorrow and what do I need? Seemed a bit miffed when I said prefers and online shop and my friend is dropping other things by.

Said he would come and see me through the window for a few mins.

Think it’s not the way I would expect or want. I am being needy. My other friends are texting, but not answering phones saying sorting kids out etc.

You’re grasping at straws, Cladding. I expect he’s doing just enough to avoid totally losing you. What either of you really want from this friendship isn’t clear. I don’t think you’ve responded to people suggesting you want more than a friendship?

he said he was my way for work tomorrow and what do I need? Seemed a bit miffed when I said prefers and online shop and my friend is dropping other things by.

Sounds like he wants to be important to you (control?) whilst not being willing to do anything unless it is immediately convenient to him, ie it’s on his way anyway.

@SparklingLime just a good friend really. Just disappointed. But easily annoyed. He said he would drop off a treat

@Piggy42

He’s shown you what he is. I would pull back from the friendship now to be honest.

This

He has shown you his true colours. Do nothing for him again.