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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want a second baby when first is only 5 months !

30 replies

Myboypink · 28/03/2022 20:09

Since I gave birth to my gorgeous baby I have been desperate for a second . I love DS so much but now want another baby !!!

I’m 33. Husband is 52.
If I want another baby I don’t want to leave it before hubby gets too much older .

We don’t have loads of money so it will
Be tight if we have a second but I believe we will
Be able to tighten belts and then once both babies are school and we have no nursery we will
Be ok.

Why am I so broody ?
When did you know you did want /
Didn’t want a
Second baby ??

AIBU to have another baby so soon ???

OP posts:
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 28/03/2022 20:10

It's hormones!
Does your DH want another child?

Original poster
Myboypink · 28/03/2022 20:18

DH is happy to go for it now . He says why wait as time isn’t on our side ! Just wondered if this hormones or if it is nature telling me to seize this opportunity now !

OP posts:
katicomps · 28/03/2022 20:18

I was trying, on purpose, from around 2.5/3 months and the babies ended up being 14m apart.
Was a hard couple of years, but I'm glad I did it. It's not for everyone though. You have to be in agreement.

DontLookBackInAnger1 · 28/03/2022 20:20

Will you be able to afford double childcare for 2 years?

If you can afford them and you both want a second then absolutely go with it!

Just check with your GP if you've had a c section as usually they like you to wait 12 months before another pregnancy.

HellToTheNope · 28/03/2022 20:22

If you are both equally as on board, go for it.

WishIwasElsa · 28/03/2022 20:23

I didn't have mine so close but there's less than 2 years between them it's tight but definitely I'm happy ho it worked out. I would say we didn't have loads in savings or massive wages either.

Babdoc · 28/03/2022 20:24

I got pregnant again when DD1 was seven months old, so my two are 16 months apart.
It is gruelling when they are both in nappies, disturbing your sleep and needing a lot of hands on care, but it gets all that out of the way in one fell swoop as it were.
The small age gap makes it v easy for them to play together, and they go to the same age appropriate activities. Mine are adults now, and I don’t regret having them so close.
Particularly as DH died before DD2’s first birthday - if I’d waited, I would never have had the chance of a second child.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/03/2022 20:25

Is DS 'easy'? Because a second might not be, might not sleep, might have colic, might have SEN. You might get two terrible toddlers.

I think you'd be bonkers. But at least your DH is equally bonkers!

BendingSpoons · 28/03/2022 20:28

It's understandable with your DHs age that you don't want to wait too long. However I have known several people broody at 5m and no longer broody at 9m when they are mobile, weaning etc Grin

Such a small age gap will be tough initially but would hopefully pay off in the long run.

OldTinHat · 28/03/2022 20:29

I was pregnant again by the time was DS1 was 9 months.

Pinkandpurplehairedlady · 28/03/2022 20:30

Mine are 14 months apart and if I’m honest I don’t remember much of the first years of DC2’s life because it was a blur of nappies and sleeplessness but it was worth it. They’re best friends and very close.

BurntEnds · 28/03/2022 20:32

Has your DH got a decent pension?

Siennabear · 28/03/2022 20:34

Yanbu to feel that way but for lots of reasons I would hold off for a while. I had a 2.5 year gap and that was hard. Can’t imagine a year apart!! As pp said I don’t remember the first year of my 2nd dc as I was knackered!

Brunosaiditlookslikerain · 28/03/2022 20:34

Being heavily pregnant with a toddler running off is SOO hard though. A tantrumming toddler and a crying baby at the same time are also up there on tricky things to handle. They play nicely when they get a bit older but don't underestimate how much having two under two visibly ages you in a short time from the stress and graft of the early years!

Siennabear · 28/03/2022 20:34

By the way, you have loads of time, you’re only 33!

HellToTheNope · 28/03/2022 20:37

@Siennabear

By the way, you have loads of time, you’re only 33!
She knows that, but her husband is 52. I wouldn't want to wait much longer, either.
CharlotteRose90 · 28/03/2022 20:37

@Siennabear

By the way, you have loads of time, you’re only 33!
She might have loads of time but dh doesnt. He’s 55. Not really an age to have kids but their choice
YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 28/03/2022 20:38

I was pregnant with dc2 when dc1 was 10 weeks old (deliberately). They are less than a year apart. It was tricky when they were both small, but not unmanageable

Tomnooktoldmeto · 28/03/2022 20:55

We planned ours the same way as we were mid-late 30’s and there are 14 months between them

We were lucky as they both slept through from 6 weeks and were easy babies. It took organisation but I would do it the same in a heart beat

They’re 18 and 19 now and still going through stages together, both passed the first part of their driving licence together at the weekend

azimuth299 · 28/03/2022 20:58

It's better to wait a year to allow your body to heal, and you are more likely to get complications with closely spaced pregnancies. But there's also risk in waiting if your partner is a lot older. I don't think it's a terrible idea, so long as your DH is helpful and supportive.

crimsonlake · 28/03/2022 20:59

I was pregnant again when my first was 9 months old and it was planned. In the very early days it was difficult trying to keep an over enthusiastic toddler away from my new born and yes I spent my life changing nappies.
For some reason I do not recall it being that hard work or tiring being pregnant, still working and coping with a toddler.
I had two little boys who were each others play mates, both grown up now. Go for it, there is nothing sweeter than two little ones growing up together,

2ndBorn · 28/03/2022 21:00

I think with your DHs age you should go for it, small age gaps are hard but worthwhile too IMO (22 months so not massively small but my two are the best brothers).

Hamilfan · 28/03/2022 21:07

My 2 are 11 months apart. It's difficult at the start, really hard work. It is essentially two babies, both at different development stages.

However, my 2 are both now teens and once you are past the baby stage it is much easier. They both liked the same things at the same time, their interests were the same (less so the older they get but growing up days out etc we're fine!)

I'd say go for it if you are both on board and can afford it.

Rosebel · 28/03/2022 22:00

Bit more of an age gap between my 2 eldest but less than 2 years. DD1 was such an easy baby but DD2 was not! It was a real shock as I think DD1 had lulled us in to a false sense of security.
Then just after she was born DD1 hit terrible twos.
Having said that they are teenagers now and close, enjoyed a lot of the same things growing up so once they got to about 4 and 5 it was easier.
I can see why you are worried time wise but I would leave it until your baby is at least a year before trying.
Don't do what I (unintentionally) did and have a 12 year age gap. Much harder than a small age gap IME.

StillMedusa · 28/03/2022 22:09

I had a 13 month gap between my first two, and then no 3 was born 12.5 months after that . (The first gap was planned..baby no 3 was a bit of a shock!)

Hard work but doable, toddler activities suit everyone, and once I;d potty trained my eldest the others pretty much copied :) It was very tiring but fun, and I don't regret having them so close together... they are very close now as adults, although the teen years were a bit stressful Grin

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