My son is treated badly by mother in law

[shellhughes]

My son turned one last week and my mother in law did not come to see him and has not bought him a gift. It’s not the cost or quality of a gift that is upsetting, it’s just the lack of care she’s given. She didn’t buy him anything for his first Xmas either. Yet she buys for my four year old daughter. I just feel so bad for him. I don’t understand why she would be so mean! Or am I overreacting?

Not over reacting Though I never stopped my children from seeing their father..I would not someone who thinks its her right to see the little one. Be unkind don't let her see him not because she didn't get a present because of the way she is behaving like a child.treat both children same or don't see them. If you enable her to do it what will you do if doing same at 5. What does the child's dad have to say about it

Because she will fall out with him and then my husband will feel rubbish too.

Because she will fall out with him and then my husband will feel rubbish too.

Well, sorry about that, but there are times in life when you have to make the position clear. He's his son's father - he has to stand up for him. Has he been avoiding confrontation with his DM for a long time? The day has arrived when that's no longer possible. He may well feel better for asserting himself. But if he won't/can't do it you have to.

Understand this is hurtful. Is is possible that there is some underlying reason why she cannot remember? Dementia perhaps?

I have a similar situation and have posted about it. DS was first grandchild and adored. Then DD and BIL’s daughter were born within 2 months of each other. Now neither of my kids gets a look in as BIL’s DD is the favourite. It’s not so obvious with my DS as they buy him different gifts and have a good relationship with him from when he was born, but between DD and her cousin it is so striking. They will buy them the same Xmas and birthday gifts then get my niece a load of extra stuff on top. They’re always talking about how beautiful my niece is and never say anything about my DD. And when they visit us they spend all their time with DS and ignore DD. It’s so toxic, but it’s a DH issue. Your DH needs to say something as it’s his mum.

I would ask her outright if there's a reason she's not sent him a card/gifts.

She is showing clear favouritism. Do your self a favour and confront her on it. Dp's father used to do this with out 2 boys. I started sending presents for ds 2 back and refusing to accept them, same with cards because he never bothered with ds 1. I pointed out one way or another my kids will be treated the same. He could choose to treat them equally or I could continue to return everything. Either way they get the same. Something or nothing. He chose to bother with both.

I'm so sorry @Curlygirl06. You've every right to be annoyed. The same happened to my friend with her fathers will. The brother though split it with her she thinks out of guilt knowing he sexually abused her. Her mother rejects this of course.

I found a good simple explanation of it on verywellmind today, which will help me help her

@worraletdown

I'm so sorry *@Curlygirl06*. You've every right to be annoyed. The same happened to my friend with her fathers will. The brother though split it with her she thinks out of guilt knowing he sexually abused her. Her mother rejects this of course.

I found a good simple explanation of it on verywellmind today, which will help me help her

Thank you.