Yes I know IABU

[SoSallycanwaitcanshe]

And probably bitter.
Am so fed up. The gap between me and friends situation is widening as we are coming into the stage where inheritances are happening. DP and I not only won’t inherit anything we have had to take out a second mortgage to buy a place for a sick parent who was being put through a no fault eviction because there weren’t any available council properties that were even vaguely suitable/no one would touch them for new private rental as a sick pensioner even with us as guarantors/ our place is in no way appropriate for their needs. At the same friends are getting big - 500k+ In some cases inheritances from extended relatives. I know IABU but it just feels bloody unfair.

@SoSallycanwaitcanshe

Hmmm. I’m drowning in debt to do the right thing and can’t express my frustration at friends on the other side? Ok. Wonder how many outraged voices will be the ones expecting inheritances themselves and so have no idea of what it feels like?

No idea how it feels? Our outgoings per month are more than our incoming, we both work, cannot afford to buy and probably never will in this climate. We literally struggle every month. We aren't both reliant on our loved ones dying to help us out money wise. We have debt, we work our arses off in overtime every month and cut luxuries to make it work. We will inherit small amounts, hopefully a very long time away. You own two properties. Your attitude is absolutely disgusting. You are so much better off than so many, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get a bloody grip.

Is your second mortgage from a bank or mortgage company?
I'm struggling to understand how you've been allowed a second mortgage, particularly on a non-standard build, which will leave you with only £50 per month.

Something is not right here.

Your mum would have been helped if she was homeless.

It sounds like you e made the wrong decision and you're now struggling and resentful of your financial situation now.

I hear you OP. YANBU. Vast discrepancies in inherited wealth is not good for society. I say this as someone who has inherited quite a sum. But you are doing a very good thing for your relative and you should be proud. I know that doesn't help when finances are so stretched but what goes around comes around - try to focus on the positives in your life while you get through this tricky period.

Re: the second mortgage, I imagine the OP’s relatives aren’t included as “dependents” in her mortgage affordability stuff. But if she’s then subsidising their income and paying for additional care for the that’ll come to a pretty hefty amount!

You're not unreasonable to feel sad that you're not getting a gift (inheritance) that other people are getting.

You're a bit unreasonable if you own two houses and feel sad about not being wealthy- because you are relative to huge swathes of the population.

You would be very reasonable if you decided that this motivated you to think about people who really are struggling financially and/or with housing, as it sounds like this was the case for your sick parent.

@Moody123

Wow ! Maybe they are saying the same thing about you, because you have living relatives Someone has died to leave them money ... I think they would prefer the person !!

Yes but that's sometimes a grandparent isn't it and a lot of people aren't hugely close to their grandparents and the OP will still lose her relatives, she just won't get an inheritance when it happens.

@SoSallycanwaitcanshe

Hmmm. I’m drowning in debt to do the right thing and can’t express my frustration at friends on the other side? Ok. Wonder how many outraged voices will be the ones expecting inheritances themselves and so have no idea of what it feels like?

Why do people automatically think they are entitled to some sort of inheritance? Seriously why? Your entitled attitude does you no good it reeks of poor little me. There are millions of people living in poverty in the UK visiting food banks and going hungry to feed their kids. You have 2 mortgages!! You don't get given two mortgages unless you have funding for them. Maybe if your friends weren't so rich with their inheritance you might feel less entitled.

@SoSallycanwaitcanshe

It’s a non standard construction. It’ll depreciate not appreciate. Wonder how many of the peeps criticising will get a decent chunk coming their way. Anyway

Fuck all here.

But then again, I can't afford to buy even one property, never mind two.

You're definitley better off than I am - you wouldn't have passed any affordability checks, especially for a non standard construction home, if you didn't have significantly higher income and assets than I do.

It's a positive that you are well off enough to even be in the situation of paying a mortgage or two compared to being trapped in rental permanently with no hope of ever saving a deposit or being approved. And not earning enough to be considered for Shared Ownership, either.

How awful are you.
I have lost both my parents & chose not to accept their death money (my inheritance) & instead have secured it in a fund for my daughter.
Yes the money would have given me a secure financial future, particularly as I'm a single patient, however, whilst sadly not a choice, I would rather have my parents alive then be paid out on their death.
Inheritance isn't a given or a right, it comes with a life sentence of loss and grief.