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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think OH is a selfish c***?

39 replies

hadenoughofcovid · 28/03/2022 10:35

Not really a swearer but can't help but think he is a selfish knob!!

We've been stuck in the house with covid now which feels like years. I've finally got rid of it but DD & DS & OH are still testing positive.

He got me nothing from the kids for Mother's Day blamed it on us having covid. Even though he has been the one popping to the shops to keep the fridge topped up he could have grabbed one then or he could of got me something online if he wanted too. But no he stood and watched me in the kitchen cooking for hours yesterday at 39 weeks pregnant even though I was very uncomfortable.

He's got up this morning and has said he can't cope he needs a break from me and he's going to have a McDonald's breakfast with his brother so that's where he has gone now.

I just feel so shit I feel like no one appreciates me at all. I was trying not to get upset yesterday about having nothing and just blamed it on us being home with covid. But if he really wanted to make an effort he could have.

DS is 5 and he felt so bad he didn't even realise it was Mother's Day, he went and made me a card Sad

I just feel so fed up!

OP posts:
lifeuphigh · 28/03/2022 11:13

Sorry OP, I didn't want to leave your thread unanswered. He sounds awful and incredibly selfish, of course YANBU. Luckily it sounds like DS doesn't take after him.

billy1966 · 28/03/2022 11:17

Awful behaviour.

Help yourself and don't have more children with an awful man.

It just makes life harder OP.Flowers

SpeckledlyHen · 28/03/2022 11:21

There are plenty of websites where you can order and send cards from (moonpig etc). There are plenty of websites where you can also order flowers to be delivered. Additionally he could have just as easily cooked a lunch or arranged for a delivery/takeaway etc.

I am sorry, but I would struggle to be with someone that selfish to be honest. I know a lot would say what does it matter, getting a card etc. But it's not about a piece of cardboard, its the whole attitude towards you and not encouraging the children to partake and make you a card etc or buy you one to give to you from them is really shitty.

cstaff · 28/03/2022 11:22

It sounds like your little boy has a big heart which is more than can be said for his Dad. Hope he stays that way.

Sorry you had such a shit day but Mothers Day seems to be an "all or nothing" day depending on your kids or husband.

Ludo19 · 28/03/2022 11:26

Yes your husband is a selfish c**t.

again2020 · 28/03/2022 11:28

Very selfish of your husband.
Your son sounds lovely Flowers

CharSiu · 28/03/2022 11:30

It’s not so much the no gift for Mother's day even though I can see why your not happy it’s the fact he let you stand cooking for hours at 39 weeks pregnant while still having covid. Has he always been like this or is it a change in behaviour?

Your little boy is a dear little lad.

AgathaOvercome · 28/03/2022 11:36

He sounds awful but again I despair at yet another woman with a useless DH who is heavily pregnant. Please don’t have any more children with this waste of space.

Quitelikeit · 28/03/2022 11:38

What a pathetic role model. Your poor son. I’d be upset too. A card really was not too much to expect - all shops have Mother’s Day things on display- what was his reason?

luxxlisbon · 28/03/2022 11:40

Why were you cooking for hours in the first place?

He sounds like a dick but it also sounds like you are martyring yourself too.

maddening · 28/03/2022 11:41

Yanbu, if this is a one off then that's one thing, if this is part of normal behaviour then I would be rethinking the relationship.

Stath · 28/03/2022 11:42

Has he always been such a selfish twat?

Why did he let you cook when you’re feeling unwell at 39 weeks pregnant? Why isn’t he looking after you?

You know that you deserve better.

You know that your DC deserve better than this example of ‘manhood’.

Have you got a plan to change this situation?

Look after yourself and rest as much as you can.

spacehardware · 28/03/2022 11:43

"He sounds awful but again I despair at yet another woman with a useless DH who is heavily pregnant. Please don’t have any more children with this waste of space."

+1 for this

Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 28/03/2022 11:45

Mental note for Father's day op.
Fuck
All

Merryoldgoat · 28/03/2022 11:47

He doesn’t sound nice, but I suspect this is not an anomaly - people don’t change overnight.

So take charge of your life. Have your baby, take stock and decide what’s in your future. But don’t expect more from a person who won’t give it and doesn’t care about you.

Herejustforthisone · 28/03/2022 11:56

He is a selfish cunt. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry.

irishfarmer · 28/03/2022 12:00

Sounds like a prick! As pp said moonpig exists. Also he could have picked up something in the shop from you DS, bless him feeling bad for something out of his control.

Not helping you with the cooking if you're struggling is really crap. Also, if he is still testing positive why did he go to McD's with his brother?

LottyD32 · 28/03/2022 12:02

@AgathaOvercome

He sounds awful but again I despair at yet another woman with a useless DH who is heavily pregnant. Please don’t have any more children with this waste of space.
Yep, thread after thread of them.
Googlecanthelpme · 28/03/2022 12:02

Oh yeah he’s an arsehole.

As a one off incident related to everyone feeling ill and stressed and overwhelmed with covid etc I’d be fuming and would be expecting him to make it up big time but would ultimately write it off.

However I’m guessing it’s not an isolated incident and this is the sort of person he is….

In that case I’d be massively dialling back the amount I do for him.
Take care of you and DS and let the twat sort himself. Oh and absolutely do not do anything for Father’s Day.

Fairyliz · 28/03/2022 12:05

This is another one of those threads that I would like to make compulsory reading for teenager girls.
Just think about how men treat you before you have children with them. If they change after you have a child then stop at one child and get out.

Shoxfordian · 28/03/2022 12:06

He’s a knob as you say
What are you going to do about changing the situation?

Merryoldgoat · 28/03/2022 12:09

@Fairyliz

This is another one of those threads that I would like to make compulsory reading for teenager girls. Just think about how men treat you before you have children with them. If they change after you have a child then stop at one child and get out.
Absolutely.

Girls really need to be taught to expect better and boys to behave better.

Sundancerintherain · 28/03/2022 12:12

I bet he is the same on your birthday .
He is a cunt.

Ourlady · 28/03/2022 12:21

He’s a nasty piece of work. I’m so sorry you are married to that.

SartresSoul · 28/03/2022 12:30

Selfish twat. I hope you get him naff all for Father’s Day as a result. There’s absolutely no excuse nowadays with sites like Moonpig.

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