Kids not been in school for 2 years

[Tiredacheyandreadyforbed]

Posting here for traffic.

A family members kids have been kept out of school since the beginning of the pandemic.

Kids are 12 and 15 now.
They've had no home schooling at all, they have just spent the last 2 years sitting around all down watching TV, playing on devices and eating.
They go swimming once a week but other than that, no exercise at all.

Kids arn't not in school because of fear of covid, mum just doesn't want to be on here own.

We have all been desperate for the kids to be back in school since they reopened but mum won't listen to anyone and just does as she pleases.

Does anyone have any advice, not involving speaking to mum as it gets you no where.
Why is no one policing this, I thought parents got fined and jailed for not sending kids to school or providing home education?

We all worry these kids will have no future and be reliant on mum forever (what she wants).

@CharityShopChic

Social services education welfare department. Call the local council and tehy will put you through.

Do not report to SS. This isn’t a SS issue at all. Speak to the out of school or educational welfare officers at the local council. They are who are responsible for ensuring children receive a full time education either at school or at home. Do be very very sure of your facts.

So many people on this site are brainwashed to thinking that ALL children MUST be in school at all times. We've had a pandemic. Adults are traumatised. Children are traumatised. We are all healing. Whatever happened to #bekind? Maybe this mother needs support and if that's the case, help her in real practical terms. Cook something, help her tidy up, take the kids out for her. Or maybe, don't be so judgey about what happens in other people's homes. You do not know what they do all day. You do not know what they are working through. Running to an already stretched social services is shameful. Children do not have to follow a set curriculum, they are not doing anything illegal. They will have officially deregistered in writing and had follow up contact from the local authority to assess the provision. This is law. Either help in practical ways or keep your beak out.

bofski14 see, I full heartedly disagree with that.

Not that children need to be in school, HS is fine, but they do need to learn. Sure, there's more or less productive days and there's no need to follow rigorously a school curriculum, but just letting to their own devices for two years is neglect and yes, SS intervention is warranted.

This thread is shocking, how dare you consider reporting to SS because you have a different opinion on home education. Unschooling is a perfectly valid way of educating. The LA ( as dc used to be in school) will be well aware. It’s absolutely nothing to do with you .

bofski14

I would guess from your defensive ott response you are also someone who ‘homeschools’ their kids by letting them do what the fuck they like too.

Why do so many people on mn think it’s better to defend lazy, useless, selfish parents than to judge?

As a teacher I have dealt with quite a few home schooled children. I have never taught one who was on a par with the class average. All below, some significantly so. A current former home schooled student has clearly been ‘unschooled’ in that he has read loads on subjects he is interested in but can’t use capital letters or full stops. It’s probably a self fulfilling prophecy though because if home schooling is going well they won’t come back into mainstream.

It's not illegal to 'unschool' in this country and there is no obligation to prove how they are learning although some local authorities might do home visits to talk about your philosophy or to make sure there are no safeguarding issues.

Personally I think it's incredibly selfish and shortsighted to deny children access to educational opportunities that might be available to them.

@Tiredacheyandreadyforbed

Hi all, sorry I'm at work now so will reply as I can.

So I know what happens day to day as kids as mum tells us.

I don't no anything about deschooling or unschooling but what I can tell you is those kids have not had a single day of either acedemic nor "life skills" education since March 2020.
Even if she taught them how to cook, clean, took them out on educational trips etc we'd be happier, but none of this. They live on takeaways and what they're doing on their devices isn't schooling unless you count playing pokemon/fortnite etc as academic.
They don't get dressed most days, stay on the same pj's and tbh rarely shower, maybe once every 2 weeks.
Kids did want to return to school last year and mum said she would sort it but never did. Now I doubt they want to go back, as its been so long. No friends as don't leave the house other than to visit relatives. Just very very sad.

This is neglect. Report to social services.

I would personally raise it with SS - the combination of no school/ no showering/no activities/ not allowed school when they want it could be neglect. Sometimes it takes a few different flags for someone to be noticed.

I don't see how anyone can defend spending 2 years not leaving the house much/ not being clean/ not educating in any way.

My experience is similar to Smiley's, although I do know that there are some home ed kids that do really well. I am not convinced that what this family is doing is it though. The mum sounds like she needs some support and it may be that SS can provide that.

Also I would make it about the whole picture, say you think it could be neglect and all the different things. Dont make it about school/home schooling.

I think home schooling can be great for some families. I know children who have thrived whilst being home schooled and have gone on to attend Oxford uni, study medicine and attend other good universities.

I completely disagree with @bofski14, allowing your children to spend all day on their devices and denying them an education is neglect and it should be reported to SS.

They don't get dressed most days, stay on the same pj's and tbh rarely shower, maybe once every 2 weeks.
Kids did want to return to school last year and mum said she would sort it but never did. Now I doubt they want to go back, as its been so long. No friends as don't leave the house other than to visit relatives. Just very very sad.

This is neglect and more than adequate grounds to report to Social Services.

@bofski14

So many people on this site are brainwashed to thinking that ALL children MUST be in school at all times. We've had a pandemic. Adults are traumatised. Children are traumatised. We are all healing. Whatever happened to #bekind? Maybe this mother needs support and if that's the case, help her in real practical terms. Cook something, help her tidy up, take the kids out for her. Or maybe, don't be so judgey about what happens in other people's homes. You do not know what they do all day. You do not know what they are working through. Running to an already stretched social services is shameful. Children do not have to follow a set curriculum, they are not doing anything illegal. They will have officially deregistered in writing and had follow up contact from the local authority to assess the provision. This is law. Either help in practical ways or keep your beak out.

Sorry but if they’re not being taught ANYTHING at home, then yes they absolutely do need to be in school. If they’re being homeschooled then that’s one thing, but by the post it’s pretty clear the only homeschool they’re getting is the school of gaming.

@Whatalovelydaffodil

No, they don't deal with education!

They do deal with child welfare and significant school absence when it affects child welfare. As the op has outline the situation on this thread they would be the most appropriate port of call.

Thanks for the exclamation mark!

Unless you have reason to fear for their safety there is not much anyone can do. If children are de registered from school then there is not a lot anyone including the LA can do. It is up to their parent to provide an adequate education. What that looks like is open to interpretation.

From your latest list I’d run it past social services as sounds more emotionally abusive the lack of showers and general interaction etc

In our local authority there is a children missing in education department.

You say the mother doesn't want to be left alone? Is she mentally unwell? Are the DC being neglected? If so then I think a Children's Services referral is appropriate.

That is of course a different scenario than if they are being home educated but perhaps in a non-mainstream way. It does sound as if that might not be the case, though. As they were at school the LA would be aware, but as to if they have offered any useful help varies greatly. I unschooled my autistic DS for many years. He is now studying for GCSEs with a combination of college and home education and is doing very well.

@Rogue1001MNer In our local authority there is a children missing in education department. yes but these children are home educated so wrong department!

Why haven't you reported to social services??
Just report it and let them investigate.

@MyDcAreMarvel the op doesn't say the ch are being home schooled

School should know this when we changed schools, the previous school called me a couple of times to check the details of the new one to make sure my daughter wasn't "lost in the system". Very odd social services haven't done anything so far..... maybe they did and the mum lied and said they were home schooled.

I would maybe report anonymously if you are concerned

You've all misunderstood my point. I'm not saying it's OK to let children do whatever they like. I'm saying that there is a lot going on right now and just because a family isn't doing the norm doesn't mean they are being neglected. The have takeaways, so what? They are fed. They don't get dressed some days, ok so what? You don't know what this family has been through. Support, real practical support is needed. Not running to SS. And if the children are swimming weekly, I highly doubt that they are only showering once a fortnight. I agree that you can't just do NOTHING with children but my point was that the OP doesn't KNOW the facts. It's highly biased because the children are being home educated. If these were school going children, staying in PJs and having a takeaway would be seen as a treat. There is a process of deschooling if the children have been through trauma. Either support the family or get your facts together and THEN take relevant action, IF necessary.

@MyDcAreMarvel

This thread is shocking, how dare you consider reporting to SS because you have a different opinion on home education. Unschooling is a perfectly valid way of educating. The LA ( as dc used to be in school) will be well aware. It’s absolutely nothing to do with you .

Do you think not getting dressed and only having showers every couple of weeks is a difference of opinion on home education? I know lots of people do a good job of home education but I am really struggling to see how this situation is ok.

You do know that you must deregister in writing and the local authority then gets in touch with you to assess your educational provision and only when they are satisfied, you get the green light to continue? If the local authority think that you are NOT providing education to the children they can and will apply for a court order to put the children back in school. If that isn't happening, then the people who NEED to know what they're doing already know.