Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mother’s Day

65 replies

Autumnleaves4 · 27/03/2022 08:29

AIBU to think that it’s nice for a husband to buy his wife flowers on Mother’s Day?

Listening to the radio and the presenter just said it’s Mother’s Day to any men out there who’ve forgotten it’s not too late to put things right.

Just wondering how many husbands buy their wives flowers on Mother’s Day?

It took me back to a conversation I had with my very unpleasant ex who coercively controlled me for 20 years. I once suggested in the early days when my children were very young that’d it would have been nice to for him to have bought me some flowers, to which he replied you’re not my mother why would I buy you something which made we think I was in the wrong (as he always did) but it still hurt as we had 4 children close together, it was hard work and as thought for him to show his appreciation of me as the Num to his children would have been nice but then he never showed me any appreciable so not sure if it was just an excuse.

OP posts:
Weekendtobegin · 27/03/2022 09:59

Everyone does it differently don't they? Imo dads should make the effort to make sure the dc have a card and a small token gift. Whether that's some chocolate or a bunch of daffodils.

Though personally I prefer effort all year round rather than putting on a show for one day.

PurplePinecone · 27/03/2022 10:00

There was plans to bring me breakfast in bed and my dd4 getting excited about the day. The reality was dd4 was up and excited but DH is still in a deep sleep and wouldn't wake up... So I go up as usual and back to a normal day! Did get a card each from the kids.

Erictheavocado · 27/03/2022 10:04

Sorry, but unless the children are too young to choose something themselves, I think yabu. DH would buy a small gift from dcs when they were little, but once the got to the point where they could choose their own (often a bag of penny pick and mix, with an offer to 'share if you don't like them mummy'), DH became a source of the funds only. And of course, as dcs are now adults, they do their own thing. For me, dh shows he lives me and appreciates me in other, small ways all year round and that is worth so much more than a bunch of flowers for show on one day a year.

Sockofthefall · 27/03/2022 10:04

My husband always fussed me on Mother’s Day! Lie in bed, coffee & flowers. He would organise gifts from our children when they were young. Our children are young adults now & he would still buy me flowers 💐. Unfortunately my lovely man died recently unexpectedly . But my children have stepped up. He was an exceptional role model, but I am biased😁.

It’s just a day, we were rubbish at birthday cards & frequently forgot each other’s.

Can’t have it all !!!! Xxxx

Benes · 27/03/2022 10:04

My Dh will order flowers for me and his mum and he's taking us both out for lunch. I also got a card and a little present from DS who is 7.

We do make a fuss of each other on special occasions.

He's also amazing all year round before someone comments!!! 😂

Isobelslider · 27/03/2022 10:07

@Whatwouldscullydo

I'd rather men steppes up all year round tbh. Like valentines day.

You wanna see us as a skivvy every day then exoevt thanks and appreciation for a cardband some flowers that die after a couple of days.

How about u show you value someone every damn day

My sentiments exactly.
MayMorris · 27/03/2022 10:08

@MargaritasOnMe

A thoughtful, token gift is always appreciated. I don't like flowers as they take up too much space that we don't have in our very small house, but dh bought me a lovely framed photo of the dc all together to hang on the wall, plus I got the usual handmade bits from nursery and school. Lovely!
That’s a really lovely thing from your DH….
Noisyneighneigh · 27/03/2022 10:11

If you want a lie-in have one! Don't put with your husbands being so horrid.

Chocomelon · 27/03/2022 10:12

Yes it would be nice but it doesn't have to be flowers. A card is nice too. Maybe some men think it's about a child doing something when they're old enough.

Did you buy your ex something for Father's Day or did he say you shouldnt bother as he's not your father?

I don't think it matters you has four young children tbh. A mother is such whether they're have one child or four or ten and presumably you wanted to have four children.

Sometimes I think women think they deserve a medal for looking after the multiple children they chose to have Hmm

Anotherhealthcondition · 27/03/2022 10:14

I’m happy with a card and a cuddle off DC.

I can already see a couple of threads about women being upset on Mother’s Day and I just don’t understand it. You live with a DH all year so know what he’s like, why have such high expectations which then leave you disappointed?

Benes · 27/03/2022 10:15

Though personally I prefer effort all year round rather than putting on a show for one day.

It's possible to have both!!

DappledThings · 27/03/2022 10:17

Mother's Day to me is a card and whatever DC have made at school/nursery and I send a card to my mum.

I hate flowers, they are an annoying effort to arrange and later dispose of which DH knows. As for the tea making and lie-ins etc we alternate this every weekend anyway.

Mamacita9 · 27/03/2022 10:25

It’s my first Mother’s Day and DH has forgotten me. He’s having a lie in, as he does every weekend to recover from his very stressful work week. And I’m looking after the bub and preparing lunch. But he’s going to drive 45 minutes this afternoon to give a card and flowers and a prezzie to his mum. He is absolutely the sentimental type and loves giving gestures but apparently I don’t even deserve a lie in once a year on Mother’s Day? When he gets to lie in every Saturday and Sunday of his life? OP YANBU. A little show of appreciation goes a long way and you deserve it for giving probably 90% of your mental and emotional energy to your family. That said, were you upset with your hubby yesterday? Is he unappreciative in general or does he show his love in other ways? Don’t let Mother’s Day get you down if you were happy with DH before you woke up this morning

CornishGem1975 · 27/03/2022 10:25

Haha @DappledThings I'm the same. I do like flowers, and DH buys me them semi-regularly but I always tell him it's just more work for me and if he's going to be buy me flowers, he needs to also arrange them Grin and water them and clean them out when their done. Ungrateful bint that I am.

TheSnowyOwl · 27/03/2022 10:32

My DH took our young children to buy me flowers and paid for them but I can’t see why he would (and I wouldn’t expect him to) buy flowers for me as a gift from him on Mother’s Day.

Wimpeyspread · 27/03/2022 10:32

My husband always remembered Mothers Day because his own mother would have been seriously upset not to get a card!! My kids send me flowers now, and I love them

Thethreecs · 27/03/2022 10:33

Everyone feels differently about mother's day. Some like a fuss some don't.

It always confuses me when people say that men should show appreciation all year round. Especially when they actually do, it's nice to also do something a little extra on mother's day. It's a bit of harmless fun.

I'm thankful that myself and dh taught the children about getting a card and small gift because now they are older they do it themselves. Plus it will stand to them when they have their own families.

When men say they don't buy anything because it's not 'their' mother, it's basically a cop out. Do women say the same on Father's day? A parent should step in and get at least a card from the children until the children are old enough. If we waited for our children to grow, mature, have money and confidence to go to a shop then we'd be waiting a while to receive a card.

It doesn't cost much, there are things that can be done without costing money. A father can help children make a card etc

Personally I don't like flowers, but I do love chocolate and that's what dh bought me from youngest dd, he helped her give them to me last night as he's working today. My older children did breakfast in bed and cards and small gifts, each gift was very thoughtful and much appreciated. There were lots of hugs and thanks... All free.....

SouperNoodle · 27/03/2022 10:35

I told my husband I'd just like some flowers and some chocolates for Mother's Day.
He got the chocolates and was going to get the flowers yesterday so they were fresh but I had to go to the shop for something and saw a stunning bouquet so bought it for myself.
I gave it to him to have the kids give it to me this morning 😂

Rosebel · 27/03/2022 10:37

I got a card off my teenagers and my DS made his at nursery so my husband just had to buy for his mum. He did used to buy me stuff when our teens were younger.
He's pissed me off today unfortunately so I got my cards but still having a shit day.

melj1213 · 27/03/2022 10:38

When DD was still too little to buy anything then ExDH would buy me flowers and a card "from" DD for Mothers Day but once she went to school and made crafts/cards then he would take DD to choose a present and just pay for whatever she chose but he wouldn't get me an additional gift just from him.

luxxlisbon · 27/03/2022 10:45

I personally think men should make an effort for the mother of their children on Mother’s Day.
I don’t really understand the common implication that it’s either effort on one day or all year round, actually men that don’t bother on Mother’s Day are more likely to be careless and thoughtless the rest of the year too.

Fridaysgirl17 · 27/03/2022 10:53

My ex was crap at everything birthday,mothers day etc,my mom always gave me a card & something small, chocolate usually,my mom passed in November & it's my first mother's Day as a single mom so I ordered myself a box of chocolates in the shopping 🤣 & to my surprise my ex emailed me this morning to say happy mother's day,I'm assuming that he's arguing with his gf/affair partner,he always gets nice when they are,thinks that sweet talking & smiling that smile works on me still,no chance especially as she's due his baby soon,they conceived while we were still together,he was playing us both,she's stuck with him now 😁

Hopeishere52 · 27/03/2022 10:53

My teenage son bought me a lovely card and a magazine and some marmalade I like. He came and sat on the bed and we had coffee and a natter which is lovely. I don’t expect a gift off my husband but he will make sure we have a nice day and won’t expect me to do anything.. My husband will cook the family meal and we will have my mum with us. We always make a bit of a fuss of each other on birthdays and mothers and Father’s Day but it’s the little thoughtful gestures that count and being together.

Weekendtobegin · 27/03/2022 11:07

@Benes you're absolutely right, it is possible to have both.

I just read posts on here every year with women upset about Mother's Day then you read on and the husband and kids are pretty much useless all the time anyway.

Mary46 · 27/03/2022 11:31

Agree nice to be appreciated. I have teens. She bought me a lovely card nice note in it. My husband prob made a fuss when they were small not as much now. But I go for lunch later

Swipe left for the next trending thread