To not go to the DMs birthday meal tonight

[Elleinad1]

It's my mums birthday meal tonight (a milestone birthday) and there's a large table booked for 7.30.

I have a 15 month old DD. I had a babysitter booked for tonight but she's just messaged me to say she has covid so can no longer babysit.
Trouble is, I have nobody else I could ask to look after DD for a few hours at such short notice. Everyone I would ask is going. I was going to drive and not drink anyway and the pub is only 5 miles away so wouldn't be home too late but I'm getting a bit of a hard time for not being able to go.

Family are saying I'm being precious not to bring DD with me. I just dont think a pub especially busy on a Saturday night full of drunk people is an appropriate place for a small toddler. Or children in general. She normally goes to bed at 7.30 anyway and I don't want to have her try and sleep in her pushchair in a busy pub.

DH is away until Monday for work otherwise he would've stayed home with her.
I've booked afternoon tea with her tomorrow for Mother's Day so I will be seeing her this weekend.

Am I being a bit precious for not going with DD? Do you judge people who bring children into pubs of a weekend nighttime?

Go, have fun, your daughter will be fine! Bring her pram so she can have a nap, a colouring book, an iPhone to entertain her. Toddlers can be taken to pubs, it won’t scar her for life.

I'd go and take DD. I don't get why you wouldn't. How drunk do you think people will be in a pub that serves food at 7:30? I have family that would do anything coz of the kids bedtime and it's annoying. We take our kids out for dinner fairly often (or we used to at least) and they were usually fine. Slept in the pushchair or stayed up and joined in!

And no, I would never judge someone for bringing their child to a pub on a weekend!……..unless they were there getting roaring drunk and neglecting the kid!

Will she not have to leave at about 830? However, I wouldn't judge a baby with someone having a meal in a pub

I would take her pjs and change her into them before you leave, then try and get her from car seat to bed without disturbing her sleep.

I'm obviously precious because I wouldn't take mine out at that time. They would be tired and therefore likely to behave poorly, or just be grumpy the next day. They weren't the type to sleep in the buggy.

Is it a restaurant-come-pub or pub-come-restaurant because if it's the latter you might not be able to take her in at that time on an evening. Lots of busy pubs have curfews on children

I would take my child so yes I think you are being OTT.

It’s a milestone birthday. Make an effort.

@Rosebuud

Oh gosh sorry, misread, it’s not just the punters but your family are also going to get drunk? That would be a hard no for me.

I mean there's nothing wrong with getting drunk in a pub at a family celebration is there?

They won't be stumbling drunk at 7.30 and I live in a nice area in Hampshire / Surrey border not sure how it's related..

I said above I'm not expecting to walk into a rammed pub with everybody drunk at 7.30.
But people do tend to go to the pub.. to get drunk. By the time we've had the meal and done presents it'll be closer to 9.30-10pm and that's what doesn't sit comfortably with me.

Not going at 7.30.

But they showed the football earlier and it normally gets busy on the weekend so I wasn't sure if it was appropriate but I'm going to go for an hour and show my face.

She's a 1-yr old toddler, I'm sure she'll survive one late night for a special occasion. Especially for a family meal where she'll presumably have lots of people there to help entertain her.

We're going on holiday in 7wks, DS 4 and DD will be 15mths. Excited for a couple of lovely evening meals and staying up until 11pm to watch the fireworks one night.

@BeHappy91818

I would take my child so yes I think you are being OTT.

It’s a milestone birthday. Make an effort.

It's not about me not bothering to make an effort. I've planned a lovely day for mum tomorrow and put a lot of effort into her gifts.

People are so quick to jump the gun

@BeHappy91818

I would take my child so yes I think you are being OTT.

It’s a milestone birthday. Make an effort.

She already said she’s going.

I went out for tea last night and there was small kids at most tables in a pub setting. Gastropub type place not a rowdy Old Vic type place. No one batted an eye. One was a bit grizzly and mum was walking around with her but they didn’t leave early they stayed had dessert and more wine, good on them I thought !

What exactly do you think will happen at about 9am-9.30pm in the pub though? Even if people are a bit tipsy, and?

I've taken my dc out to family meals in the evening from day one so I would go.

Your mother's a mother. I presume she understands? You're taking her out tomorrow, it's not your fault your babysitter's got Covid, I think bringing your DD along just for a short while to say hello and give presents, even if you can't stay for the meal because your baby needs her sleep and to stick to her routine, is fine and if I was your mother, I would understand. Happy Mother's Day to you!

@Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver

Your mother's a mother. I presume she understands? You're taking her out tomorrow, it's not your fault your babysitter's got Covid, I think bringing your DD along just for a short while to say hello and give presents, even if you can't stay for the meal because your baby needs her sleep and to stick to her routine, is fine and if I was your mother, I would understand. Happy Mother's Day to you!

@Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver

Omg baby can cope with not sticking to routine right for one night

@LuckySantangelo35

What exactly do you think will happen at about 9am-9.30pm in the pub though? Even if people are a bit tipsy, and?

People start acting like dickheads when they're having a drink sometimes. I don't like people around my toddler when they've been drinking. I don't think she should have to witness that behaviour or be subject to people fussing over her like idiots.

For a milestone birthday, I would go.

You can always shoot off at 9. Take her pram so she can sleep if she needs to. I get it's annoying and far from ideal, but loads of people keep kids up later for special events and I do think it's a little precious to not go altogether.

At least go for a starter and a drink

@girlmom21

Most people go to pub for a few, not to get paralytic. Someone who has had 2-3 wines or beers is unlikely to be a danger to a toddler. As for fussing over her, most people couldn’t care less whether there is a toddler in the vicinity

I’d do what you’ve decided to do. Stay for a bit and just have a drink and then say my good byes and leave.

@LuckySantangelo35 - yeah, that's what I thought on holiday 25 years ago when we took the baby everywhere we went in her push-chair, sometimes till the early hours of the morning. A few late nights and a little break in the routine can do no harm, thought I. Pfft. My child has been an insomniac ever since.

[quote LuckySantangelo35]@girlmom21

Most people go to pub for a few, not to get paralytic. Someone who has had 2-3 wines or beers is unlikely to be a danger to a toddler. As for fussing over her, most people couldn’t care less whether there is a toddler in the vicinity[/quote]
They will if there's relatives who don't see them often. OP said people are likely to get drunk - not just tipsy.

@LuckySantangelo35 lots of pub establishments will ask all children to leave before 9pm. It's happened to my friends several times in places which are mainly eatery's with a secondary function as a pub

@girlmom21
I mean if they’re going to be so drunk that they’re likely to pick up the toddler and drop her or something then fair enough. But that’s unlikely especially at that time of the evening. Most parents have got a bit drunk and still mananged to take decent enough care of their children. I guess what I’m saying is being a bit drunk (which is all the relatives are likely to be at such an early stage in the evening) doesn’t mean people pose a danger to a baby/toddler