Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time?

952 replies

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 26/03/2022 13:12

Masses of confusion.

Husband spoke to GP yesterday morning and described his chest pain. He was advised to call an ambulance. My husband refused because he didn't think he needed one - thought he had chest infection or torn muscle.

He went to A&E - was sat in a corridor from 10.30am - he had ecg, x ray and blood test. He continued to sit on a chair in the corridor all day.

He was told he was waiting for blood test results. These came back at 6pm. Then he had to wait for a CT scan - then rushed to resus.

Dissected aorta from heart level to naval level.

I was called to be allowed to sit with him because I wasn't allowed to be in A&E. Was then told he was being blue lighted to another hospital an hour away for immediate surgery. I asked is this time critical? The answer was - yes life saving.

Paramedics arrived and told me to set off to this other hospital. There were three paramedics. One said 'I'm not taking him because I can't use that bit of kit, I'll lose my job if something goes wrong'. No advanced paramedics available and no doctor available to go in the transfer.

I was 15 min into the journey and then called back to the hospital.

No surgery.

Trying all day today to get him transferred. Nothing available.

He's critically ill.

I'm out of my mind with worry.

There's a saying about not being ill on the weekend. The standard of care is not the same. The 24hr cover appears to not exist.

I feel like we're being fobbed off with poor excuses big style.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Fraaahnces · 15/05/2022 12:52

Definitely sounds like it needs investigating. Hoping it’s simply an ear infection, but the little man has had a lot of seizures…

Words · 15/05/2022 13:44

So glad to hear your dh at least is somewhat better. Hope you've had time to rest up a little!

Words · 15/05/2022 13:45

So glad to hear your dh at least is somewhat better. Hope you've had time to rest up a little!

alexdgr8 · 15/05/2022 15:32

agree with Maverick above.
all the best.

friskybivalves · 15/05/2022 20:37

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 14/05/2022 23:05

@Mix56 Yes - it's utterly true! My uni friends and I refer to it frequently.

@olympicsrock - it takes all my strength not to be pedantic now. My older daughter is dyslexic - I roll my eyes at her WhatsApp messages all the time, but she's very resilient and we are often hysterical with laughter at the extent of her written words. She passed her driving test first time - the driving instructor reinforced the terms left and right by pointing in the direction of travel for her. Jokes go completely over the top of her head. It took us ages to work out why we'd had no correspondence from her college - the letters were going to number 19 and not 91 - she reverses everything, including initial sounds. So we have par cark, shield of feep, dicker of vibley (my fave) and many more. She also sees words as colours - you can't catch her out. She had deep red lenses in high school to keep text from moving about but when the other students started calling her Captain Sensible she refused to wear them again.

I hope you have a fab day tomorrow. I can't do saunas - they make me faint. Heat has always done that to me. It's a great excuse not to do the ironing - I have fallen and burned myself too many times. My daughter (twinny) lives close to the coast - just a 15 min drive. Husband and I used to canoe there before we had children. We bought a static caravan in Northumberland last year - it's on a remote site. I've only been twice. Other family members have used it more than us. We were about to get some decking sorted for it when my husband became ill. During the windy weather last year, the site had a few fallen trees, we escaped damage narrowly.

I'm not doing much tomorrow, I have some work to do, Sunday lunch - and apart from that I will be sat knitting and watching Columbo. I need to stay off my legs so that they get a little rest - my legs and feet are so painful. I mainly feel like I'm shuffling - I know I look so miserable out and about and have had plenty of 'cheer up it'll never happen' comments - but the pain is obviously reflected on my face. I caught sight of my reflection recently and I saw my father 🤔

I've just refilled husband's pill sorter thing from the drug list on his discharge letter. It says: admitted from home with known type A aortic dissection for repair of dissection. Underwent ascending aorta replacement, debranching of the left bracheocephalic, left common carotid artery, vertebral artery and left subclavian artery and frozen elephant trunk replacement of the arch of the aorta (zone 2).

From his first discharge it wasn't clear if he had type A or B as it said type A/B.

He's found out today that he's had C-diff. and has a card to show in case he needs further antibiotics.

Several parcels arrived today - sports clothes, clotted cream shortbread and some sort of shaped ring for him to sit on as he has developed callouses on his behind bits - he's very sore.

Below is my latest cardigan after completing two white hooded jackets.

In all of your amazing coping, and suffering, and wonderful descriptive writing - honestly, you have missed your calling as a novelist - my one contribution is to say that if you ask at the pharmacy/GP, they ought to be able to do what's called a dosette box service for you. (I think that's how you spell it!) Essentially if you have quite a lot of different pills to take and there is any danger you might get muddled, the chemist will sort them all out into little compartmentalised doses according to time of day, and day of the week. It also makes it much easier if you find blister packs and lids difficult to manage.

My DM gets hers this way, and delivered to her home too.

Would just save you a precious few minutes in your very pressured days if you asked about it? It's all free or at least it is for my DM.

Thinking of you...

friskybivalves · 15/05/2022 20:39

Sorry - missed your update about your grandson. Very much hope he is ok.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 15/05/2022 21:35

Well - 111 said 12 hrs and that's exactly what they meant. He's just been seen - ear infection and burst ear drum. No temperature, no runny nose.

Just started the antibiotics. Has to go back in 6 weeks to check ear drum.

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 15/05/2022 22:13

Glad that’s “all” it was. Poor little kid, though!

friskybivalves · 15/05/2022 23:12

friskybivalves · 15/05/2022 20:37

In all of your amazing coping, and suffering, and wonderful descriptive writing - honestly, you have missed your calling as a novelist - my one contribution is to say that if you ask at the pharmacy/GP, they ought to be able to do what's called a dosette box service for you. (I think that's how you spell it!) Essentially if you have quite a lot of different pills to take and there is any danger you might get muddled, the chemist will sort them all out into little compartmentalised doses according to time of day, and day of the week. It also makes it much easier if you find blister packs and lids difficult to manage.

My DM gets hers this way, and delivered to her home too.

Would just save you a precious few minutes in your very pressured days if you asked about it? It's all free or at least it is for my DM.

Thinking of you...

In case of use, I've looked up the advice and it seems the free Dosette box service is available to people who have four or more items prescribed on repeat, and that are suitable for being put in boxes (IE I guess they're not injected or oral medicine only etc).

Fraaahnces · 16/05/2022 05:34

I highly recommend the Dosette boxes. Then you can just chuck the box at him and leave him to crack on with his post-surgery crisis. (Or let him sort his own meds out. Might keep him away from online shopping.)

impossible · 16/05/2022 21:43

OP, I just wanted to say I have been reading your thread and been thoroughly gripped - you sound like the bedrock of your family. I'm sorry things are so hard but it's been good to know your DH is more stable and to read your conversations, for example with "olympicsrock". I think this is Mumsnet at its best.

I've nothing useful to say except perhaps to remind you that you are quite amazing and you really must find time to switch completely off.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 17/05/2022 12:51

So the spending continues - unbeknownst to me, his father collected him yesterday and they went to a motor auction.

He's bought a large car for our younger daughter. Everyone is speechless.

In all the years I've known him - this is as totally out of character as you could get.

My daughter's partner doesn't want to accept the car. But my husband has arranged delivery of it to their house for tomorrow.

I am not going to say how much he's spent in the last 10 days but it would make your eyes water.

It's like he's suddenly addicted to spending. Don't know whether to ask for a new wardrobe of clothes 😬 - while it lasts.

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 17/05/2022 13:10

You might have to push some therapy at him. He really does sound like he’s having a crisis.

BusterGonad · 17/05/2022 13:19

Fraaahnces · 17/05/2022 13:10

You might have to push some therapy at him. He really does sound like he’s having a crisis.

After you've updated your wardrobe! 😂

7eleven · 17/05/2022 13:21

It sounds like he’s having a rush of adrenaline “I’m alive!” reaction. Poor bloke. That’s not good for his autonomic nervous system. I’m sure he’ll calm down. Try and encourage him to have lots of calm, quiet time and breathing exercises. I’m sure it’s a common response to a ‘near death’ type of experience. If you can afford it, don’t worry too much and put in a request for something nice for yourself 🤣

Fraaahnces · 17/05/2022 13:57

Definitely a good point about updating your wardrobe. I get the impression you put yourself last on that list!

HappyintheHills · 17/05/2022 15:40

Are any of those meds steroids? Might explain the spending.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 17/05/2022 15:46

Don't think so - no steroids.

He's not on half the stuff he was on before the operation.

He was feeling dizzy yesterday - possibly saw his altered bank balance. He would be apoplectic if I spent anything without him knowing, in the past. His blood pressure was 100/70, mine was 178/98 when I got home yesterday evening. I possibly need the stuff he was on before his op.

OP posts:
greyinganddecaying · 17/05/2022 15:59

You really need to see your gp about your blood pressure op. You need to look after your own health as well as others.

peridito · 17/05/2022 17:35

steroids come in different guises ,might not immediately ring a bell

prednisolone

betamethasone

dexamethasone

hydrocortisone

deflazacort

Mix56 · 18/05/2022 08:02

This excessive spending seems worrying.
I mean, a CAR ?

peridito · 18/05/2022 08:05

It does sound odd .Perhaps it's coming off steroids ,not being on them .

TotalRhubarb · 18/05/2022 09:54

Does he think he’ll die imminently and this is his way of giving presents and getting stuff he wants while he can?

Innocenta · 18/05/2022 10:51

People do all kinds of weird stuff as a trauma response. He probably doesn't really know why he's doing it - even if he has a reason at a superficial level, there are likely underlying emotional drives that are hard for him to acknowledge.

None of my admissions have been as deeply traumatic as MyOtherCar's DH's has been, but I too often, oddly, end up buying stuff after my discharges. For me, I think it's a form of grounding, anchoring, and reasserting myself as a Real Human in my living space. I'm not saying anyone else who does it has the same reasons! Just sharing mine.

Reallybadidea · 18/05/2022 14:28

I wonder if he's got some degree of 'pump head' which occurs quite commonly after being on a heart lung machine during surgery. There's some information here: www.scientificamerican.com/article/pumphead-heart-lung-machine/

The type of surgery he's had will have meant he probably had quite a long time of being on the machine and also involves some changes to blood flow to the brain during the operation. It should get better over time.

Swipe left for the next trending thread