To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time?

[MyOtherCarIsAPorsche]

Masses of confusion.

Husband spoke to GP yesterday morning and described his chest pain. He was advised to call an ambulance. My husband refused because he didn't think he needed one - thought he had chest infection or torn muscle.

He went to A&E - was sat in a corridor from 10.30am - he had ecg, x ray and blood test. He continued to sit on a chair in the corridor all day.

He was told he was waiting for blood test results. These came back at 6pm. Then he had to wait for a CT scan - then rushed to resus.

Dissected aorta from heart level to naval level.

I was called to be allowed to sit with him because I wasn't allowed to be in A&E. Was then told he was being blue lighted to another hospital an hour away for immediate surgery. I asked is this time critical? The answer was - yes life saving.

Paramedics arrived and told me to set off to this other hospital. There were three paramedics. One said 'I'm not taking him because I can't use that bit of kit, I'll lose my job if something goes wrong'. No advanced paramedics available and no doctor available to go in the transfer.

I was 15 min into the journey and then called back to the hospital.

No surgery.

Trying all day today to get him transferred. Nothing available.

He's critically ill.

I'm out of my mind with worry.

There's a saying about not being ill on the weekend. The standard of care is not the same. The 24hr cover appears to not exist.

I feel like we're being fobbed off with poor excuses big style.

OP, please get yourself checked ASAP. You are holding your family

How are you doing this morning, OP?

... not sure what happened to my last post but trying again....

OP please get yourself checked ASAP. You are holding your family together but, as Mix56 says, if you have a stroke or heart attack you won't be able to support them - and will need care yourself.

I'm sorry if this sounds brutal but I speak from family experience. If I could turn back time and insist my family member get themselves checked I would. Not doing so was catastrophic. What you are doing for your family is absolutely wonderful but your own health is a crucial part of the mix.

Please get checked.

dear Porsche, if i was you, i would ring 111.
you will be able to speak to a clinician, and it can't do any harm. they can suggest a plan.
as for mowing etc, ie physical labour, can't you get the younger men in the family to do that.
i really think you should not be exerting yourself at present.
remember how over a month ago you were saying your husband was under-reacting to a medical situation that needed intervention...
well, cap, fits ...?
all the best.

Dear OP,
I also love Ozark and Sewing Bee. What do you think of the new SB presenter? I liked Joe…..Don’t worry - they won’t send DH home in the next week. They will be gently humouring him to stop his plans to self discharge again….

Your blood pressure is too high but it’s unsurprising given the awful stress of the last month. Do look after yourself . It sounds to me like you need to prioritise yourself above your children’s childcare arrangements . Would it be the end of the world if the children took a few weeks off work to look after their own children? If you were a childminder with a sick husband you would say I’m sorry I can’t have the children because I have to prioritise my own nuclear family.

Your have far too much on your plate to be a childminder atm. I suspect you are just used to being supermum.

Please go to GP to discuss BP in the next week. enjoy the family meal .

PS having made my son a breakfast smoothie last week , a then made myself one too - revolutionary to look after myself. Banana, frozen red berries, milk porridge oats and chia seeds . Was really nice actually! 🤣🤣.

love and strength xx

@olympicsrock

Yes - I liked Joe Lycet, but I think that Sarah Pascoe will warm up - she was empathetic towards the sewers. I have watched all the remaining Ozark episodes (last night). I have restated the Sewing Bee from series one again - a local guy was on the first series and I've met him a few times at our local knit and natter.

I make my own smoothie a couple of times a week - based on apple juice with pineapple and kale. No wonder I have reflux, I am drawn to all things acidic.

I'm not unfit in particular - up until my hysterectomy I was a runner. I enjoyed the 10k distance and half marathons. I never got going again after the op - I had been taking painkillers to run towards the end - knees and shins. I was far too thin for most of my life - according to my mum. I've settled into a size 12 in middle age. I have never smoked and I rarely drink - toasts mainly I think. The liquid I drink most of is water. I can bring on chest pain when I'm rushing but it goes straight away when I stop. Similarly, when I'm walking (galloping) quickly, I get pain up the back of my right lower leg - which also goes as soon as I stop. My blood pressure is also up or normal within the day. I don't think it is constantly high. I possibly think that I'm on the cusp of requiring medication - which I will action on Tuesday.

I've done Sunday dinner, bathed three grandchildren and video called my husband and now I'm settled for the night. He's had most of the paraphernalia removed now - pacing wires and blood pressure wires all gone. He's on oxygen - heart rate still high 90/100. He has pneumonia. He was breathless whilst talking - he was telling me stuff that I was telling him on Friday, the last time I saw him. So he seemed more confused today. I've tried to ring the ward - but the phone just rings out.

@Fraaahnces - have a great day!

I'll leave you with a little pic of my WIP.

That’s really beautiful and it sounds a very satisfactory evening’s work with the family.
You sound much fitter than me! I don’t get enough sleep or time to exercise and also eat far too much chocolate (night shifts and too much adrenaline don’t help) . I used to love yoga …..

We moved to a beautiful place last year and I’ve been enjoying the odd lovely walk. Working far too hard at the moment.

I think DH’s confusion is his chest infection and low oxygen levels talking.Confusion often worse in the evening .Hang tough ….

@olympicsrock do you mind if I ask when you CCT'd? No worries if it's too personal to reply.

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche You're being a trooper. That knitting is absolutely gorgeous! Just keep pacing yourself and please see a medic when you can xx

@Innocenta CCT d just over a year ago… ( Vasc) . Send me a PM if you’d like to chat …

Hi @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche - sorry I was caught up in teenage angst and a prom. Would rather feed crocodiles than get that kid gussied up and out the door on time again, but oh my word, she looked so beautiful…. I’m a very proud mum. She had a lovely time and they were all (somewhat disappointingly) well-behaved. I keep comparing this stylish, tasteful young woman to the 80’s horror with no idea that was my prom! Thank goodness she will love the photos!!!

@Fraaahnces

Stunning!

My daughters had proms - they didn't exist when I was young 🙄

Can understand the head in the sand situation. Am a pro at this myself. I think mothers do this and out our health last, then pay for it when we are often needed most. Did I tell you that my midlife crisis is to study nursing? Seems a natural move after years of looking after mum, dad, then FIL. Am deferring while DD in final year. Have lots to do, of course… Your knitting is so lovely. You are also so fast!!!! I was going to crochet a rug during our first lockdown. I still have a bag of untouched wool in the garage. I will do it. I have seen what I want now. (I’m a granny square kinda girl. Not very patient or talented. It will be more of a test than an exercise in zen, I can assure you.)
I am currently reorganizing my kitchen. Chaos ensues. Also covered in that sticky, greasy dust that accumulates in the top shelves when you are 5ft tall and never know what the hell is up there. Eeeew.

@Fraaahnces your daughter looked beautiful. Love the accessories, very swish. ( swishy skirt too 😄)

I keep thinking how much I would like to do a crafty project. I used to as a teenager all the time .my ideas are

1. I am thinking of doing an online course to make Roman blinds . We need new curtains in 3 rooms abs might be cheaper to make myself and have the fabric. I can use a sewing machine but haven’t got one…
2. a colleague made a wreath of felt flowers from a kit. That looked really pretty and sounded fun. We talked about a gin and crafting evening .

Anyway - you are inspiring me OP

Hope you have a better day xx

Thanks @olympicsrock .. She bought that dress & bag on Depop. (Very independent young woman. TBH, the dresses available here are utterly vile, dubious quality and very expensive!!!) The earrings are vintage (and a bargain) and the necklace (which I covet) I bought for her at Zara. (Trying to imagine my turkey neck in that necklace is not a pretty sight though….)

Gaaah! Posted too soon! I think learning to do your own curtains and blinds is a great idea. (Again, because you can never find exactly what you want, and EXPENSIVE!!!) I have dusted off my sewing machine and have signed up to Squarespace for tutorials. They are running deals all the time for a month or two of free courses. You should see if there is something there that suits you.

@olympicsrock

Is this normal - I've been concerned since he went to HDU?

He's confused. He's breathless - when speaking he frequently pauses to concentrate on getting his breath back. He's breathing rapidly. I can see his chest heaving, every so often.

I know he's got pneumonia. He was off oxygen on Sunday and now he's back on it for at least the 24 hrs because his saturation level dropped overnight. Today he's said that he's had a transfusion and that there's another 'bag' of blood they are preparing which will have antibodies and something for his chest/lungs added? Does this sound right?

Could he be 'leaking' from somewhere - his blood levels have been going down since the operation? Or is this routine after a large procedure?

I know that I've been beside myself with worry and, thinking he was out of the woods, I've been tentatively optimistic but I have a bad feeling. He's not right - I just feel dread.

I haven't had time to contact my GP today about blood pressure but intend to tomorrow - I'm working from home (without grandchildren).

I didn't sleep last night because after a five minute video call (normally half an hour) I felt very uncomfortable about his condition.

Please tell me this is a common occurrence after surgery and not another impending surgery.

bugger just typed out a long reply which disappeared.

So … he’s got a bad case of pneumonia and his body is busy fighting infection and not replacing old red cells as usual. Fluid from the blood is leaking out into soft tissues because of flight and fight hormones and meds they are giving him to support BP ( hence he is really swollen ) . He then gets lots of IV fluids to replace this and his flood is diluted . He needs the transfusion to balance this out. He’s probably just having IV antibiotics …

really common after this type of surgery to have this story and does not indicate bleeding or an aortic problem or impending need for more surgery

please be reassured OP.
Hope you and DH have a better day today. I am going to watch DS play cricket today. He just so happens to be playing in an away match in a town on the same day I am doing a peripheral hospital morning clinic there. Yay! Life works out well sometimes. I try so hard to get be there for my children . I worked away for 12 months last week Mon to Friday and have had to miss so many Sports days, concerts etc…..

Love and Strength xx

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche
are you ok? Xx

I hope today has been as okay as possible, MyOtherCar xx

Sending best wishes to you all. Hoping everyone’s health is improving over there! X

@olympicsrock

Thank you so much - he's ok. I'm ok - I spent all of yesterday trying to catch up with some work.

My husband says that he feels like a new man! He says he feels really 'sharp' and points to his head - I'm wondering if he's referring to some sort of brain fog having lifted? He's said that he's been walking up and down stairs with the physios and he's thinking he's coming home today.

We've been video calling daily and I'm not sure that he's the same person? He's been swearing - I don't like swearing, I got that from my father, he would say that there's plenty of other words in the English language in which to express yourself without being coarse. I know it's more and more prevalent - but people who know me tend not to swear in front of me as they know I don't like it.

I don't want him home yet - he can just about say one sentence and then he leans back and concentrates on gasping for breath - which doesn't seem right. He then starts to speak and needs to gasp again. I don't want him home because I can't be here all the time - I don't want him being alone in case he can't get his breath.

This is day 10 - should he be ready to come home?

I hope that you had a great time watching the cricket - I bet you were so proud. I never got to see my children at school because I was a primary school teacher. My children would ask me to listen to them read and I would say 'read faster' because I had so much work to do. I used to go to bed genuinely worrying about how to get some children from one level to the next. I took my work far too seriously. I left in 2016 in order to look after my granddaughter full time - when mum went back to work, she couldn't afford not to. I needed that excuse to leave - I was becoming jaded and exhausted with the whole thing.

In my younger days I used to fantasise about watching my husband play cricket, spending idyllic sunny days watching and then preparing the food for after in the pavilion. I lived near a cricket pitch and loved to watch play.

My husband is the exact opposite to what I imagined 🤣. We couldn't be more opposite. We married young and I can still see our wedding guests saying it wouldn't last. I used to say that he's my cheeky bit of rough. On our first date he turned up in a three wheeled Robin Reliant - when he saw my expression he said "My other car is a Porsche'. We've laughed ourselves helpless along the way - had some major ding dongs for good measure.

He bought me a Porsche last year, it's garaged mostly, but it's great for a 'blast'.

On a hilariously 'fruity' note, he's noticed that something is now happening in the underpant department which has not happened in years! Which is probably another reason why I don't want him to come home - I don't want him to exert himself. 😳

@olympicsrock

Thank you so much - he's ok. I'm ok - I spent all of yesterday trying to catch up with some work.

My husband says that he feels like a new man! He says he feels really 'sharp' and points to his head - I'm wondering if he's referring to some sort of brain fog having lifted? He's said that he's been walking up and down stairs with the physios and he's thinking he's coming home today.

We've been video calling daily and I'm not sure that he's the same person? He's been swearing - I don't like swearing, I got that from my father, he would say that there's plenty of other words in the English language in which to express yourself without being coarse. I know it's more and more prevalent - but people who know me tend not to swear in front of me as they know I don't like it.

I don't want him home yet - he can just about say one sentence and then he leans back and concentrates on gasping for breath - which doesn't seem right. He then starts to speak and needs to gasp again. I don't want him home because I can't be here all the time - I don't want him being alone in case he can't get his breath.

This is day 10 - should he be ready to come home?

I hope that you had a great time watching the cricket - I bet you were so proud. I never got to see my children at school because I was a primary school teacher. My children would ask me to listen to them read and I would say 'read faster' because I had so much work to do. I used to go to bed genuinely worrying about how to get some children from one level to the next. I took my work far too seriously. I left in 2016 in order to look after my granddaughter full time - when mum went back to work, she couldn't afford not to. I needed that excuse to leave - I was becoming jaded and exhausted with the whole thing.

In my younger days I used to fantasise about watching my husband play cricket, spending idyllic sunny days watching and then preparing the food for after in the pavilion. I lived near a cricket pitch and loved to watch play.

My husband is the exact opposite to what I imagined 🤣. We couldn't be more opposite. We married young and I can still see our wedding guests saying it wouldn't last. I used to say that he's my cheeky bit of rough. On our first date he turned up in a three wheeled Robin Reliant - when he saw my expression he said "My other car is a Porsche'. We've laughed ourselves helpless along the way - had some major ding dongs for good measure.

He bought me a Porsche last year, it's garaged mostly, but it's great for a 'blast'.

On a hilariously 'fruity' note, he's noticed that something is now happening in the underpant department which has not happened in years! Which is probably another reason why I don't want him to come home - I don't want him to exert himself. 😳

Oh what's wrong with this platform? Keep losing loads of text then it looks like you've not posted .....🙄

He’s probably feeling a lot better now the antibiotics are working on the infection, but he doesn’t sound exactly at his peak, does he? I think he may be a bit ambitious about coming home, but they tend to discharge people earlier there than here in Aus. As for the latest underpants events, it’s probably because his BP is stabilizing now his aorta is sorted. (That kind of activity is extremely vascular, after all…) There would also be the added “OMG! I just survived all of this and came out the other side…” Fear/adrenaline cycle. He will have realised how close he was and that he has a lot of time to make up for.
You sound like an amazing parent and grandparent. My kids don’t have much of an extended family to lean on. My parents are gone, my brother has MH & dependency issues (but hasn’t had kids, so that’s something!). My DH’s parents split up and both remarried. FIL & SMIL have undiagnosed MH issues (hoarders) and MIL and her DH are on the other side of Australia. (About 4000 Miles from here.) She is not shy about sharing her political opinions and those on race & sexuality. I’m pleased my kids didn’t grow up with that input. My BIL lives in the same state but a 7.5hr drive away from MIL (to whom we’d have to fly first). I love that family, but distance, time and money make that impossible I’ve never met my 11year old niece in person. (We do talk all the time, though.) Their three kids are the only cousins. (I had 40, so it is weird!)
Meanwhile, we were a good team!

@MyOtherCarIsAPorsche oh thank goodness . I was getting worried!
This all sounds really excellent news. There is a slight mismatch between him passing a stairs assessment and being incredibly short of breath. Be prepared for the team to suggest him coming home fairly soon. just say that you can’t be at home 9-5 . Fend them off for a few days at least.

This operation can do funny things to the brain. When he was cooled there was reduced flow to the brain and tiny clots can also travel to the brain. ( essentially causing mini strokes) . Sometimes people do notice a change in personality. It could just be utter frustration though!

regarding the trouser department it sounds like the flow dynamics in his iliac arteries have changed. It would be unsurprising if there had been problems before with flow. Sex is a very bad idea for at least 6 weeks though!

so glad things are getting back to normal. I saw 2 minutes of cricket due to sorting out sick patients brought as emergency to my clinic and leaving 90 mins late. So much for my nice potter around the town first. However I did sit on a bench in the sunshine having match tea with my boy and a nice chat in the car on the way home. It was a really beautiful place!

Next week maybe…. I hear they do good sausage rolls at that school. 🤣🤣. Having a recovery day today. Hair dye in the bath, haircut. Etc much needed. Another crazy afternoon doing mums taxi service later.