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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my husband is gravely ill at the wrong time?

952 replies

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 26/03/2022 13:12

Masses of confusion.

Husband spoke to GP yesterday morning and described his chest pain. He was advised to call an ambulance. My husband refused because he didn't think he needed one - thought he had chest infection or torn muscle.

He went to A&E - was sat in a corridor from 10.30am - he had ecg, x ray and blood test. He continued to sit on a chair in the corridor all day.

He was told he was waiting for blood test results. These came back at 6pm. Then he had to wait for a CT scan - then rushed to resus.

Dissected aorta from heart level to naval level.

I was called to be allowed to sit with him because I wasn't allowed to be in A&E. Was then told he was being blue lighted to another hospital an hour away for immediate surgery. I asked is this time critical? The answer was - yes life saving.

Paramedics arrived and told me to set off to this other hospital. There were three paramedics. One said 'I'm not taking him because I can't use that bit of kit, I'll lose my job if something goes wrong'. No advanced paramedics available and no doctor available to go in the transfer.

I was 15 min into the journey and then called back to the hospital.

No surgery.

Trying all day today to get him transferred. Nothing available.

He's critically ill.

I'm out of my mind with worry.

There's a saying about not being ill on the weekend. The standard of care is not the same. The 24hr cover appears to not exist.

I feel like we're being fobbed off with poor excuses big style.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
ItWillBeDone · 20/04/2022 19:25

Thank you for updating us OP. I hope the op has gone well for your DH and I hope you are getting yourself checked out too. You're important as well, don't forget that.

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 20/04/2022 22:34

Just had a call to say operation has been cancelled until Friday.

😩

OP posts:
SouperNoodle · 20/04/2022 22:54

Oh I can't imagine how infuriating/scary this is for you all. Have they given a reason why it's cancelled until Friday?

olympicsrock · 20/04/2022 23:21

How stressful! Another 24 hours of waiting.
please look after your own health OP , you need some rest.
There may well be a good reason such as needing all the best people to be available so try to see a delay as the team trying to do the very best they can .

Roystonv · 21/04/2022 09:02

I am so sorry to hear this. What a horrible time you have had. Wishing him all the best for tomorrow. When you both feel able do write to Pals and ask them to review his care; it has all been managed very poorly. Can you ask your gp for a check up; the practice are aware of what you have been going through.

notapizzaeater · 21/04/2022 17:39

Aarrrggghhhh !

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 21/04/2022 19:18

Just heard now - cancelled for tomorrow. He wants to discharge himself.

This is a cruel joke.

OP posts:
Hatinafield · 21/04/2022 19:33

He mustn’t. Please threaten to leave him if he does!

Dancer47 · 21/04/2022 21:49

So sorry OP for what you have both been going through.
It would be best if he does not discharge himself.
I hope your DH gets sorted out soon and prayers for you both and your children and grandchildren xx

thisisawfulsimplyawful · 21/04/2022 22:05

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP

olympicsrock · 21/04/2022 22:16

Oh no! I really feel for you OP.
do ask his team why? Is this logistics or ITU beds or are they still hoping that the aorta will stabilise so that the tissues are stronger by the time he needs surgery ( the blotting paper analogy) . Are his symptoms improving? If this is the case then this delay is a good thing . Much love xx

olympicsrock · 21/04/2022 22:19

PS I’m fairly sure they won’t do this at the weekend OPbut perhaps ask the team ehat the next stage is.

Your DH must NOT self discharge

MyOtherCarIsAPorsche · 22/04/2022 01:29

The 1st cancellation was due to no CICU bed. The 2nd was 'circumstances beyond our control'.

He's looking worse each time I see him (video call). His abdominal pain is increasing - he is wincing with pain whilst talking.

This latest cancellation has really upset him. He was stopped from leaving the ward as he was walking out - 5 staff, nurses and doctors appeared. A different doctor came and promised him the operation will now be on Monday - if it doesn't happen, I don't want to think about the state he will be in.

I have got the feeling that he will become an emergency before Monday - he looked so ill.

This thread will be a record of events as they unfold. I am writing a horror story. This situation feels horrific and there's nothing I can do about it.

It's a full four weeks now since his first admission.

OP posts:
anotheronenow · 22/04/2022 01:39

Just wanted to say OP that everyone on here is rooting for you and your husband, I know it's probably not that comforting but so much sympathy and well wishes coming the way of both of you. Please try and take care of yourself however you can.

Cakeandponies · 22/04/2022 04:09

OP my goodness, what else can life throw at you. Your strength and determination for your family are an inspiration. I have everything crossed your DH will be ok, and your children and grandson. Please don't forget about yourself in all of this, take 5 mins to just breathe. I hope the surgery goes well, and happens as soon as it can 🌷

Philisophigal · 22/04/2022 06:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

ittakes2 · 22/04/2022 06:59

I am so sorry this sounds like a nightmare for you both. Do you have health insurance? Even if you don’t - when my partner needed a heart surgeon over a weekend our insurer BUPA was amazing. They said to find an nhs consultant that also did private working that weekend at the hospital and ask to see them private after the weekend. I rang practically every heart related department in the hospital tracking one down. But this consultant took an interest in my husband and actually very kindly worked worked back on Father’s Day when he was meant to be off and ended up doing the operation on the nhs.

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 22/04/2022 06:59

Its staggering that its taken this long.

I clicked on the thread as I happened to see it, and realised I'd read it, and scrolled down hoping to hear about convalescence. Astounded to read that he's still waiting.

Okbutnotgreat · 22/04/2022 07:08

Omg @MyOtherCarIsAPorsche I’ve just read this thread from the beginning. Just want to tell you you are doing an amazing job holding it together and I’m truly hoping the operation goes ahead and he comes through Ok. Please look after yourself the best you can as you will need to be strong in the coming days. I totally understand the what if feelings. DH and I have been together almost 30 years and I can’t imagine not growing old with him but he’s like your husband and finds it hard to slow down even when he desperately needs to.

Sending you hugs for the coming days!

olympicsrock · 22/04/2022 07:45

OP this is so hard for you. Please look after yourself this weekend . It’s going to be a tough few days of waiting for you. Xxx

Roystonv · 22/04/2022 07:56

Apart from all the horrors you are both facing one thing they should be able to do is control his pain better. I am no medic and have had pain in the past that was difficult to manage but are they really working to get this problem sorted?

Oblomov22 · 22/04/2022 08:02

What a mess. Poor you.

Didicat · 22/04/2022 08:26

Rooting for your husband, however, you are important too and you need to go see your GP and get the help you need! Your family sound lovely and close and supportive.

please please get yourself checked out

comfortablyfrumpy · 22/04/2022 08:39

I have just found your thread, and just want to wish you and your husband well.
I hope his operation happens without more delay. Flowers

LadyDanburysHat · 22/04/2022 08:44

I have just found this thread and read the entire thing. My heart goes out to you, your husband and whole family. It is scary how critical treatment just isn't available. I really do hope the operation happens on Monday at the very latest.