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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

FTB - buyers remorse - to think that I might be fine with this?

46 replies

ScrumDiddlyMumptious · 26/03/2022 03:36

Single mum here to two amazing disabled girls. I've bought a home as a FTB and saw it again with the agent for the second time. I was about to exchange. In the bright light of a March day, it just seemed really dilapidated. Some bits are fine but they need a good clean now. I'm just feeling so dismayed. I've put all my savings into the deposit and I don't have a clue about DIY. Everything in the house seems so antiquated and a bit neglected. Mayve rental places are just done up so I'm not used to this. I've pushed the boat out to get this and feel buyer's remorse.

Aibu to think that this might be normal to have buyers remorse and I might get past this?

OP posts:
Randomness12 · 26/03/2022 03:44

I think this is totally normal with such a significant and stressful purchase. I’d say that having a home of your own as security for you and your kids is worth it vs uncertain rental. However; you do need to be realistic - are the issues fixable? Can you afford to have them fixed as you mention being no good at diy? Or can you live with them until you can have them fixed? You don’t mention exactly what the issues are?

ScrumDiddlyMumptious · 26/03/2022 03:48

Plastering, painting very high ceilings, a concrete floor which needs levelling in an outhouse, new flooring, new curtains, shower needs put in, door needs replaced.

OP posts:
nzeire · 26/03/2022 03:52

Totally normal!
It’s exciting and you will make it wonderful and your own in no time.

k1233 · 26/03/2022 04:05

Sometimes a fresh coat of paint is enough. I bought my place 10 years ago. Kitchen and bathroom then were solid but had never been updated. Updating costs. 3years in, I painted top to bottom (including ceilings). I've never painted a place before. YouTube is fantastic. Watched a lot of videos, then started on an unimportant room. As I noted the kitchen cabinetry was solid, so to update on a budget, I painted it all. Totally lifted the place.

I've also done the floors since.

I do a bite size chunk, pay it off, then do the next. You can always put rugs over flooring until you can afford to replace. Curtains are pretty easy these days - lots of cheap ready made available. Putting up curtain rods etc - again, let DIY videos be your friend.

Maybe give the walls, windows etc a good wash before you move in? Much easier if the place is empty. Also easier to paint if you have time / money to do that.

lovemelongtime · 26/03/2022 05:15

We had this two days before completion and did actually pull out. Felt dreadful for the seller but when we saw the house on a bright summer day all empty we just didn't get a good vibe. The house sold again within 3 days and we found somewhere else we love. I say go with heart, you have to feel the love.

TulipsGarden · 26/03/2022 05:21

Totally normal, I'd say. A house someone is selling hasn't been done up on the cheap like a rental property.

Can you afford to have someone do the work? You don't need to do it all at once, just get anything urgent done now and cosmetic stuff later. And is the house a reasonable price given the state is in? Or could you find something cheaper in better condition?

Movingonup22 · 26/03/2022 05:41

So long as it’s liveable you will make it your own! Presumably it’s what you could find for your budget too?

Painting makes the world of difference abs having your own stuff in there etc

k1233 · 26/03/2022 05:48

If you can't curtain every room but need privacy, you can buy static cling window frosting film. Super easy to use, let's the light in, but can't be seen through - even at night. Example below is from a common hardware store in Australia - you'd have similar in the UK

www.bunnings.com.au/pillar-products-900mm-x-2m-premium-static-solar-frost-window-film_p3962499

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 26/03/2022 05:49

I was exactly the same, OP. I bought a repossession back in 2000, and when I got the keys I actually cried, there was so much to do…only a sink unit and boiler cabinet in the kitchen, all the light fittings has been snipped away, all the wallpaper slashed…I don’t know what I was thinking!! All I can say is that 22 years on, I’m still here 😊 as others have said, I chipped away at the jobs, with help accepted from wherever it was offered.

Recommend a roller on a pole for those ceilings! Just give everywhere a really good scrub and a coat of white to start with and then start making the decorating decisions. Loads of good Facebook pages, DIY on a budget etc. them prioritise a room at a time, I did my bedroom first so I had a sanctuary from all the downstairs mess (this was prior to me having kids, of course, now I’d do their rooms first).

And congratulations. Getting on the property ladder nowadays is a massive achievement! In a few months time you and your girls will feel like you’re ‘home’

TrooBloo · 26/03/2022 06:16

No. With all of my purchases I never felt that, I felt excited to get in and make it my own.

TrooBloo · 26/03/2022 06:17

Pressed post too soon.

There was one house we were buying and in second viewing I felt how you felt. We pulled out and I’m glad we did. I couldn’t sleep thinking about how I didn’t want it, as soon as we pulled out I relaxed again.

FTEngineerM · 26/03/2022 06:21

Yeah you’re right I think it’s because you’re in rented and it’s all down for you.

It’s exciting getting to change things about your own house. Mini projects on the go, always something to go to B&Q for, it’ll be your new hobby more than likely 😂.

curlii103 · 26/03/2022 06:59

I went for location so i knew the house wasnt perfect. Amazing what some paint can do. You loved it enough to buy so you just need to put your own stamp on!

GrowBabyGrow · 26/03/2022 07:21

All those things are completely normal to do when you buy a house unless you buy one that is already done up. They don't sound like anything drastic so if the bones of the house are good (the survey will tell you that) then focus on the reasons why you went for the house in the first place.

You say it needs a good clean, could you stagger your move so that you and your children stay elsewhere for a night or two so you can clean it properly before your stuff goes in? Either by overlapping your current rental slightly or stay with friends/family and have movers hold onto your boxes on the van for an extra day or two. We did this moving into a grubby doer upper and it was much less daunting moving our stuff into a clean house!

Summerfun54321 · 26/03/2022 07:38

Have you had a proper survey done yet? You can strip wallpaper and redecorate but if you’re buying something that needs major structural or damp proofing work then don’t bother, that’s the kind of stuff you don’t want to deal with if you’re on your own with children in the house.

SafelySoftly · 26/03/2022 07:44

What kind of survey did you have and what did it say? Are you confident it is structurally sound? Start from there. The housing market is bonkers so if you pull out now you might not have a lot of other choices. And you pay a premium for a house that has been “done”.

RoseMartha · 26/03/2022 07:46

Sounds normal. I have owned my home for about 18 months and it needs various things doing. As I havent much money it is being done in baby steps. Bit at a time is what I am going with.

waterrat · 26/03/2022 07:48

Hi op. We bought a really grubby house that had students living in it. It took days to get the grease out and all the rooms needed fresh paint. But slowly over the years we have done work and the reality is this is what allows you to add value. We have just sold our home at a hugely increased price.

That isn't the only thing to think about as you need it to be livable now but remember if you had bought a house all beautifully done up you would be paying extra. Nothing comes for free!

House prices have gone up since you offered and you would have to pay more for a home that didn't need any work.

This is very normal with house buying and nothing you have mentioned is major work.

Painting high ceiling is just the job of a decorator with a ladder. Go fir it it's far far better than renting

LabelMaker · 26/03/2022 07:51

Perfectly normal. These are the best kind of houses to go for though as they are cheaper than one the same but already done up. And so things you do to it will hopefully improve it and add value.

Roominmyhouse · 26/03/2022 07:54

I remember the day we moved into our house it felt so small and not what I remembered from viewing at all. We then found loads of bodge jobs from the previous owners. But we’ve been here 8 years this year and I love my little house now. So much so even though we can afford to move and could do with more space, we don’t want to just yet!

As long as it’s nothing horrific, it’ll be fine. Just accept houses take time for them to be what you want.

Totalwasteofpaper · 26/03/2022 07:58

@ScrumDiddlyMumptious

Plastering, painting very high ceilings, a concrete floor which needs levelling in an outhouse, new flooring, new curtains, shower needs put in, door needs replaced.
Nothing madly our of the ordinary here.

Curtains
I really like Terry's and 247curtsins / 247 blinds.

Painting
80% surface prep 20% painting.
Really consider wallpaper if there is not perfect plaster it can hide a lot of sins. Also quick for high ceilings. Go for heavier /thicker paper if a novice or start with a feature alcove rather than a whole room.
Mural stickers are cheap for kids and fun
I can do a room in 1 or 2 days.
Flooring
For carpets try end of roll. You must know your room sizes but you can get good bargains. Hard floor click tiles amd lvt are cost efficient and hard wearing.

Plastering
Get a professional!

I actually think moving and putting a bit if work helps it feel more yours.

waterrat · 26/03/2022 08:01

Its funny that I'm commenting here on your thread so calmly as I'm in thr middle of weeping with stress about my own sale ! Constantly worried we have done the wrong thing moving again. Which shows just how inherently stressful moving is

SilenceOfThePrams · 26/03/2022 08:09

Definitely normal. Don’t look at the work which needs to be done, look at the space and how it will work for you. Picture yourselves in the bedrooms and the kitchen and the garden, not as it is now, a bit shabby and dingy. But how it will be when you’ve painted it, with your things in it, and knowing it’s yours and no one can sell it from underneath you or turn up and insist on inspecting it, that you can put whatever colour you like on the walls and stick things up however you like too.

And depending on what disabilities your children have, and what your income is, there may be grants available to help with the decorating and floor covering etc. www.disability-grants.org/ is quite comprehensive. But look around locally too - some places have local charities who will help by doing some of the donkey work.

Depends on your friends and family, but when we moved I arranged for a bit of respite and then had a minions assemble call - lots of people came over to help paint and assemble furniture, I ordered pizza and curry and was hugely hugely grateful.

A friend had a Pivot ! Party to sort all their awkward furniture.

Another friend does a great line in swapping cakes for DIY.

But actually last time we redecorated I found a handyman rather than a professional painter and it was £300 plus paint rather than £3000 including paint. Yes the finish is probably not as pristine as it would have been. But tbh the wheelchairs trash it anyway.

High ceilings aren’t an issue though you just need non drip ceiling paint and a long arm roller. Quite satisfying. And if you do the ceilings first then any spatters on the wall you’ll be painting over later. And once it’s done you can lie down and look up and it’s all clean and bright and there are no piles of toys or equipment cluttering it up.

VagueSemblance · 26/03/2022 08:14

Yes it's normal. I remember the day we moved in noticing how grim the paintwork was in what I'd thought was a decent kitchen. It still took me a couple of years to get round to painting it, and 10 years to replace. Things just take time.

Remember it's also normal for FTBs to have no DIY skills and be starting from scratch. Many DIY experts were once where you are now.

Either focus on painting main living area, and maybe kitchen or kids' bedrooms, or start saving up to get a decorator in. Floors can be expensive - we started off removing dodgy carpets and sanding floorboards until we could afford to recarpet. Always check Argos first if you're buying household stuff like curtain poles, curtains, blinds - they have some really low price options. Dunelm's good if you have a little more to spend.

NeverAgainSam · 26/03/2022 08:15

Has the seller moved out? That can be a massive change from seeing a home (with all the furniture in) to an empty shell - with marks on the floor where the chairs were, outlines of furniture and pictures from dust/dirt on the walls.

Even the most pristine house has all these things. Unless just renovated you can always see where people have had their stuff.

Try and think of what you have (X rooms, walls, security). Move in, live with it for a bit and then work out your priorities.

Tackle something easy first of all (and maybe something you won't mind if you bodge a bit....so DC room that you know they will not want Barbie pink for ever so even if it is a bit of a scruffy result you know you can revisit in a few years). You've got this.

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