FTB - buyers remorse - to think that I might be fine with this?

[ScrumDiddlyMumptious]

Single mum here to two amazing disabled girls. I've bought a home as a FTB and saw it again with the agent for the second time. I was about to exchange. In the bright light of a March day, it just seemed really dilapidated. Some bits are fine but they need a good clean now. I'm just feeling so dismayed. I've put all my savings into the deposit and I don't have a clue about DIY. Everything in the house seems so antiquated and a bit neglected. Mayve rental places are just done up so I'm not used to this. I've pushed the boat out to get this and feel buyer's remorse.

Aibu to think that this might be normal to have buyers remorse and I might get past this?

Yes it's normal. It's a home that's been lived in so there will be little jobs that need doing. It won't be immaculate unless it's a new build or has been renovated already, but then you pay extra for the privilege. The jobs you describe are easily sorted over time. I'd take a slightly worn house of my own over a rental any day. Can you envisage what it will look like in a couple of years, when it's exactly as you want it?

When I did my ceilings I used a slightly more expensive paint but it only needed one coat, so that made up for the extra cost. I was VERY happy only doing one coat. It's easy to get and extension handle for the roller. The tricky bit for a high ceiling will be doing the edges with the paint brush. Investing in a good size ladder is a good idea as you never know when you need to reach the ceiling.

You'll be fine! It's amazing what you can learn from YouTube, even when sometimes what you learn is you're going to have to save up and pay a professional But the cleaning you can do yourself, and the decorating (roller on a long pole for high ceilings), and you could probably have a go at putting blinds/curtains up after watching some videos. If you have any friends or family who are a bit handy many of them love an opportunity to show off especially if you can offer beer as a reward.

If it helps I cried the day I moved into my dream house.

It was clean - but much shabbier than I thought - and smaller. I remembered it as perfect and it wasnt. It was the fourth place I had bought - but I was used to new builds.

Can you live with it and do the work gradually?

Owning a new palace is expensive. The first few months you need so much - and there is so much cleaning and painting g and furniture never fits quite right.

I know it’s tough but nowhere will be perfect - make a list of what you can’t live with and get quotes. See how long it will take you to save for it and then decide.

Good luck

I felt like this about our house. We’re still working on getting it up to a good standard 7 years on but I love the house now.

A good clean, some paint and you’ll be surprised at the difference.

It’s not that unusual but equally if you have severe doubts about it and haven’t exchanged yet, it’s not too late to pull out. We did this once close to Exchange and though we felt terrible about it, I know we made the right choice as the house wasn’t right for us.

YouTube is your best friend now. So many seemingly complicated jobs are easy to do, if you know how.

It is overwhelming when you look at it as a whole, there is so much to do when moving to a new house.

Pick a room and just focus on one job at a time. Most jobs you can do yourself and the only thing I would pay a professional for is plastering.

You will also have the great satisfaction of knowing it is all your own work. Take before and after photos too.

Also please remember not to beat yourself up when you make a mistake, because we all make many mistakes with diy.

I cried the night we moved in to our house and said I wanted to go home!

9 years later and we're still here and it was the right decision. Ask your friends and family to come as soon as you have the keys and help you get it clean. That made things so much better.

I remember that feeling well. When we completed I remember driving to the house and just feeling sick. It looks small, dirty and like it needed a lot of work! It did! But we spent nearly 3 years in that house, learning the basics of DIY in our spare time and adding lots of value to it. Once it was clean it was nice enough but not luxury. We moved on to an amazing home and made £35k profit off it that I'd have never been able to save in 3 years - that went straight into getting us our better house.

Instead of buyers remorse I think it’s more likely you have overwhelm.
Try and think of it in small chunks, rather than as a whole.

People often rent more than they can afford to buy which Means any purchase feels like a downgrade. But once you’re in it a short while then you start to focus on making it yours and the feeling goes.

We pulled out after a second viewing. So I'd say listen to your gut.

The house we bought we loved it. We made an offer immediately and when we had a second viewing - we picked up on more things that need doing (you take a much more critical view on a 2nd viewing) but we came away bouncing down the drive still loving it.

The day we moved in we loved it. We just knew it was right. I've never had that 'I'm not sure' feeling about this house.

[quote k1233]If you can't curtain every room but need privacy, you can buy static cling window frosting film. Super easy to use, let's the light in, but can't be seen through - even at night. Example below is from a common hardware store in Australia - you'd have similar in the UK

www.bunnings.com.au/pillar-products-900mm-x-2m-premium-static-solar-frost-window-film_p3962499[/quote]
Wilko does a big range of this.

This was me in 2003. We only saw it in the dark, literally didn’t even know it had a garden until moving in day. We couldn’t pull out as my then husband was about to lose his job and this was my last chance to get on the ladder.

It was sooooo filthy!

But we just had to make the most of it. Nearly 20 years later and I’m in love with the place, I plan to stay here till I die. Could only afford to paint it after five years, so I slept in a nicotine stained room for that long. Slowly managed to do bigger jobs, bathroom after 7 years, kitchen after 12 (once I’d shed the husband, who prioritised cars and lapdancing over home). Now it’s just about perfect and my sense of self-fulfilment is huge.

@Twiglets1

It’s not that unusual but equally if you have severe doubts about it and haven’t exchanged yet, it’s not too late to pull out. We did this once close to Exchange and though we felt terrible about it, I know we made the right choice as the house wasn’t right for us.

This is an important point. There are houses or flats out there in turnkey condition, or closer to it anyway. Sometimes a flat in better condition is a better choice than a house that needs work.

Loads of us have done the FTB, DIY learning curve thing. But not many as a single parent with 2 disabled children. Don't worry about the skills, you can pick those up,. The biggest challenge might be finding the hours, depending on your DDs' ages and needs, but if you have a plan for that and the enthusiasm then you'll be fine.

Rentals are generally repainted and touched up in between each tenant, homeowners on the whole I would imagine are not doing this regularly every year or six months.

As PP says, YouTube is great for how to do things, buy big tubs of white and get painting, fresh paint does wonder for a room. I painted over grotesque wallpaper, sometimes needed three coats but still quicker and cheaper than taking it off and papering again etc. Anaglypta wallpaper that you hang and paint over proved useful in a few rooms and made for easier redecorating when the kids grew a bit and wanted something different colour wise.

My dad was a great DIYer, he wanted to do a lot for me but I made him teach me stuff, tell me how to hang wall paper not just come and do it. Took me about five years as FTB and single mum, I did the main living room first, tarted up the drab kitchen. Sugar soap is an amazing cleaner on wooden painted doors and skirting etc, try that first and you might be surprised how things clean up.

Renting a good steam cleaner to cleans carpets can make a big difference too. I loved the Rug Doctor one, my mum and I shared it over twenty four hours, I was cleaning at midnight but hey ho.

Oh and I cried repeatedly when we moved in and "missed MY home" after 6 months i was in love with our house

@Movingonup22

So long as it’s liveable you will make it your own! Presumably it’s what you could find for your budget too?

Painting makes the world of difference abs having your own stuff in there etc

Yes @Movingonup22 prices have gone crazy and it's in my budget.

Done the survey. It didn't pick up major structural issues.

The house prices have indeed gone up since I made my offer and I can no longer buy something that size around that price bracket.

It doesn't all need doing the day you move in!

ALL houses need something doing to them - yes even the 'perfect' looking newbuilds, they're put up fast and as things settle, cracks appear, problems surface...

It is also normal that when you start doing a job.. more jobs will be revealed - the only ways to avoid this are - don't start any jobs - don't own a house at all.

Going from tenant to owner IS a big deal, its overwhelming, there isn't someone to call when things go tits up/fall down/fall over/fall off... but it's ok, you'll cope!

All the jobs you list can be done by anyone... the plastering, if you want a GOOD job doing, pay someone (its an art.. not just a skill!).

Beyond cleaning and putting down flooring, none of them need doing immediately and, most of them are pretty easy!

Keep your eye on the future... how it will look when its done and the freedom you have now, to have it look exactly as you want!