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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school need to get a grip?

309 replies

Tyrozet · 25/03/2022 10:21

Just had a text from my son informing me of a letter he is bringing home from school about a trip abroad next year.

The cost of the trip alone is nearly £1000 - it is a skiing trip so on top of the basic cost of the trip, special clothes need to be purchased, passports paid for and of course spending money - I'd say all in it will be at least £1500.

It's a state school in a town with many deprived areas.

I know you can just say "no" if it's not affordable but AIBU to think the school shouldn't be putting on trips like this at a time when many families are having to choose between which basic essentials they can afford?

Things are shit enough as it is for alot of people without having the added kick in the teeth that this is completely unreachable at the moment.

OP posts:
KeepYaHeadUp · 25/03/2022 19:47

[quote toomuchfruit]@daisyjgrey

No, not completely free but also not a ridiculous amount like £1000. Surely the school can find more reasonably priced holidays so that more children can enjoy them ? It's really not that hard..[/quote]
My son's primary took the kids to the pantomime pre covid. It was £16/ child. A number of children couldn't afford to go. The head said the school would pay. Some other parent's contributed the cost of the ticket again to help the school.

£16 is not affordable to all, just because it might be affordable to some and £32 might be affordable to some too.

So it's free or it's not fair for everyone w

KeepYaHeadUp · 25/03/2022 19:49

@reluctantbrit

But I think for a trip oganised by the school I just can't see the need to go all over the top, voluntarily paid and in the holidays or not.

Don't send your kid then? These are during school hols anyway so you can take your children on your holiday and leave other parents to choose to send their children on an entirely optional trip

nokidshere · 25/03/2022 20:04

It’s you who are being ridiculous here. Just like I said, I understand some people can’t afford even the cheapest trip but £1500? Are you kidding me right there? Funny thing is I CAN afford this trip, I just don’t see what’s the school’s business offering this kind of expensive trips. Please give me a local trip any time, camping or similar where my DD and DS could experience building relationships with most the pupils, not only those cash heavy. What a sad world.

It certainly is a very sad world where people want to stop children having or taking opportunities just because not everyone can afford it. If we went down that route no one would have anything. No local football club? Oh sorry we can't have one anymore because poor little Fred can't afford the subs. No local drama club? Cricket club? After school activities? All these things cost money do we need to stop them all? Where do we draw the line?

It is not a school trip. It is not part of the curriculum and it's not funded by the school, and it's not in term time.

Seashor · 25/03/2022 20:12

I actually think it’s you that needs to get a grip. My daughter went on such a trip as Covid broke out and she’s going again next year. It suits us and we can afford it, that’s life.

Hankunamatata · 25/03/2022 20:14

Skiing? There's limited places at dc school like 20 so definitely a minority go

Hankunamatata · 25/03/2022 20:18

And yes my dc is going on an expensive skiing trip. The sad part is they didn't bring the form home as they thought it was too much money and we couldn't afford it. Normally we couldn't but we have saved from when they were born so they can have opportunities like ski trips as its something we could never afford as a family.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 25/03/2022 20:24

DCs school give quite a bit of notice about the ski trip and the payments are in instalments over many months which is what we did for DCs to go. It was a big stretch for us to afford but we wanted to give them the opportunity as it is not something we were likely to do as a family. DGPs gave money towards ski gear and we got them some bits for Christmas.

TooManyPJs · 25/03/2022 20:26

Oh I don't know. This is actually a cheap option for a ski trip. Obviously out of reach of low income families but might allow some children from middle income households who couldn't afford for the whole family to go but might be able to afford this.

We can't all do everything but doesn't mean everyone should miss out.

I grew up in a low income household and I couldn't go on all the trips because of this.

Original poster
Tyrozet · 25/03/2022 20:43

To all the posters who have said it's fine as it's not in school time, I've just read the letter which explicitly says this trip will take place during term time.

OP posts:
nokidshere · 25/03/2022 20:45

To all the posters who have said it's fine as it's not in school time, I've just read the letter which explicitly says this trip will take place during term time.

Highly unusual to do it in term time. What yr group is it?

Lennybenny · 25/03/2022 20:58

DS school trips were Vietnam and New York...it worked out at £100 a month for 18 months and that was just the trip without clothes and spending money etc. It was an expensive jolly which the rich parents would send their dc and us poor parents couldn't.

daisyjgrey · 25/03/2022 21:08

Ours is in school time, it's two weeks before the Feb half term. It's not a hill I can be bothered to die on.

Adeleskirts · 25/03/2022 21:42

It's not a case of "if I can't have it for my child then nobody else should". There's a big difference between not having the means to fund expensive trips or hobbies on a private/individual level - but the school shouldn't be facilitating something that basically divides and excludes large groups of children based on what their parents earn

I struggle with this, it really does sound like if I can’t have it foe my child no one else should. No way round that really, that’s what you’re saying. May as well own it.

Darbs76 · 25/03/2022 21:44

I think you’re being unreasonable. Some people will be able to afford it, some people might not be able to but might have saved up for years or have grandparents willing to pay. Our school has a variety of trips at various costs, some affordable to me, some not. At secondary level kids are old enough to understand that

DdraigGoch · 25/03/2022 21:48

@theleafandnotthetree

I really don't get this whole 'opportunity to go skiing' argument as if it is some fundamental thing that everyone should ideally get to do. You might as well bemoan the lack of opportunities to go on a sailing holiday or a weeks horseriding. All are expensive and actually quite dangerous hobbies and are just that - hobbies. No one is missing out hugely in life by not doing ANY of these things, they are just other additions to the never ending list of things some very priveliged people see as they and their childrens due. And yes, the fact that you can pay for your child to go on one of these trips does make you pretty privileged.
I went sailing on a square-rigged ship twice as a teen (not through school, through a youth organisation). The first trip was funded by someone who had been part of the same organisation in his youth. I'd argue that anyone who hasn't done similar HAS missed out on a fantastic experience. Perhaps more schools should partner up with the likes of the Jubilee Sailing Trust.

Do you not realise that it's these sorts of experiences that sets the "privileged people" you mention apart from the crowd? Most private schools are no mere exam factories, they recognise that these sorts of pursuits come with cultural capital, the same as visits to museums and exchange trips to France. It also feeds into the mindset of "can do anything, go anywhere" that makes someone walk into an interview with confidence. It's soft skills that gives private school pupils the edge.

DdraigGoch · 25/03/2022 22:09

@Dontcallmebabylalala

It’s immoral for the school to do that. And I’m usually very supportive to schools, even biased. There’s zero reason for them to push such an expensive trip and yes yes yes you can deny. But it absolutely WILL make children sad if they can’t come. It’s a ridiculously expensive trip.
You can't have everything in life, sometimes you will be "sad". Tough.
DdraigGoch · 25/03/2022 22:10

The fact that they want a very large deposit to even be put on the list for a place is excluding people - nobody can have time to organise fundraisers or apply for grants with such a short turnaround.

I remember similar with "World Challenge" where they wanted a deposit at really short notice.

Bad organisation like that needs to be sorted out, but that's not a reason to abandon ski trips entirely.

Bananabutter · 25/03/2022 22:13

YABU. Just because you can’t afford it doesn’t mean others should miss out.

DockOTheBay · 25/03/2022 23:30

[quote toomuchfruit]@JudgeRindersMinder

You surely don't believe this school trip is inclusive ? An inclusive school trip would be one that both poor and rich kids can afford to go on.[/quote]
There's no such thing then, is there. Unless they can go somewhere totally free there will always be someone who can't afford it.

Might as well ban all school trips. While you're at it, ban music lessons, pencil cases and sports which require any equipment - not everyone can afford those. Better also ban packed lunchboxes with anything other than bread and jam, ban leather school shoes and disband any cycling to school programmes - not everyone can afford a bike you know.

DockOTheBay · 25/03/2022 23:35

@Dontcallmebabylalala

It’s immoral for the school to do that. And I’m usually very supportive to schools, even biased. There’s zero reason for them to push such an expensive trip and yes yes yes you can deny. But it absolutely WILL make children sad if they can’t come. It’s a ridiculously expensive trip.
"Immoral" Hmm pull the other one

What a shame to make a 15 year old sad. Some of the rich kids who can afford it will be sad too if the trip is oversubscribed and they don't get picked. If being sad for 5 minutes, because a small number of your classmates get to do something, is the worst thing that happens then I can't get worked up about it.

GrandTheftWalrus · 25/03/2022 23:46

If its a choice of a family holiday for 1500 or 1 dc to go for same price then I'm sorry family holiday trumps it.

What if you've kids in different school years? Potentially 3k on 2 trips?

No chance.

CelestiaNoctis · 26/03/2022 01:19

My daughters school is going to the zoo and want £15. They're allowing that to be paid in 3 instalments of £5. They said they understand how tight things are these days. Your kids school sounds wildly out of touch. I expect the trip won't go ahead as not many will sign up for it.

stillherenow · 26/03/2022 07:51

It'd make me mad too. No chance id fork out that much for a school trip. DD's already excited as one of her teachers said they might have a trip to Iceland next year and I'm certain I won't be able to afford it - even a 3 day UK residential is £500!

They shouldn't offer expensive trips, it's unfair and creates division . I don't want dd to feel 'poor'. We're ok financially but I'm a lone parents and can't even afford a holiday for the two of us this year

stillherenow · 26/03/2022 07:54

And this is a working trip - so dd will miss out on an educational trip that some others will get .
The whole point of uniforms is to even things out at school and make it less obvious who is rich and who is 'normal'. There should be a cap on trips of well under £1k

Ragwort · 26/03/2022 07:59

It is not 'immoral' to offer these opportunities - some mumsnetters really need to look up the meaning of the word 'moral'.

I think it's a valuable lesson in life that not all things are affordable ... you frequently see on here all the handwringing and angst when grown women need to decline an invitation to a hen party weekend or a 'destination' wedding ... we need to be able to say 'I can't afford it' without getting upset and embarrassed.

Yes, I could afford a ski trip for my DS but there are lots of other things in life I can't afford that many people seem to spend money on .... it's not 'unfair' ... it's life.

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