To think this is not how you treat someone who is suicidal?

[hippohippohippo]

One of my good friends has recently confided in me that she has been having suicidal thoughts. I knew she was struggling with postnatal depression but wasn't aware how badly. She spoke about her DH and how he flits between really supportive and really really angry. She says he sometimes shouts at her that she isn't allowed to care about / be upset about things because in her view she is basically dead so what does anything matter. I'm really worried about this and that that's exactly the opposite of what someone who is suicidal needs to hear. My instinctive reaction to that is that she should leave him but again I'm worried about the emotional strain of even thinking about that when she is already struggling.

Perhaps the starting point would be to encourage and help her to get mental health support - taking her to the GP or ER depending on the urgency of the situation. She may or may not be best advised to leave him but some assessment and treatment of her mental health issues and safety assessements of her and the child take priority surely. Things may look different for her when she gets appropriate supports.

Yes, what is she doing to help herself?
Although its awful for her, her partner would not be equipped to deal with it alone and if he is,he's likely to be coping with too much at times and then dropping it all at others. I feel for them both.

She needs to engage with some professional help. Definitely her GP, first of all. But because of COVID this may take a while. It's great that she feels able to confide in you, but you need to get her to see that she needs help.

Could she call The Samaritans? Is she being harmed? Is she harming herself? Is the baby at risk?

Obviously I agree with the pps, but I think the DH should still be held to account for being so unhelpful. Especially when his wife isn't doing suicidal ideation properly.

Maybe she could ask for an urgent gp review, and dh could go with her. Preferably into the rooms, but at least waiting in the car with the baby.

It sounds like he too is probably struggling with his own mental health and not coping with a wife with PND. They both need some support and I don't think suggesting she leave him is the way forward.

I have a friend who self harms severely and frequently and has also had suicide attempts and it left her partner at absolute breaking point.

I don't know if the answer is to leave him or not since I don't know the full story but I can see how someone under a lot of strain could snap like that.

It sounds like they both need a lot of support.

Hi, OP. Sorry to hear of your friend's struggles.

For anyone who needs help dealing with these issues, here is a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected].