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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this online coach/ life coach stuff is very irritating?

65 replies

Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 22:47

Posting vague general captions or posting about their tough life but turned it around and so can you. Is it me or does anyone else find this online coaching culture annoying. Most have no training.

I've just listened to one saying OCD is a self sabotaging behaviour and you need to just snap out of this behaviour cycle.
Well no actually OCD is a mental illness that needs alot of DBT or CBT work that you can't just snap out of. How damaging are some of these peoples words.

I'm in the psychology profession, have trained so hard. Yet these online coach cowboys pray on people and tell them to stop making excuses or you can have whatever you want if you follow my advice

OP posts:
TheWayOfTheWorld · 24/03/2022 22:49

It's beyond irritating. It's also beyond me how people are suckered in by it and shell out £££. But they do Hmm

whirlygirl · 24/03/2022 22:52

Totally agree. It's a potentially harmful trend at the moment. The "life coaches" I know really aren't great examples of people who have their own shit together, to be honest.

We wanted some executive coaching through work and were being quoted up to £1000 per hour.. multiples more than we pay our corporate lawyers and totally insane.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 24/03/2022 22:53

YANBU, it's a load of bollocks.

Original poster
Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 22:58

@whirlygirl

Totally agree. It's a potentially harmful trend at the moment. The "life coaches" I know really aren't great examples of people who have their own shit together, to be honest.

We wanted some executive coaching through work and were being quoted up to £1000 per hour.. multiples more than we pay our corporate lawyers and totally insane.

It's so harmful. Most are not trained in therapy, mental health, psychological stuff. To just tell someone to breath deeply and stop making excuses is mind boggling. I mean I get maybe some motivational stuff for people in general like a team talk. But people with actual mental health issues I think it's damaging.

£1000ph that's actually laughable how did they justify that price?

OP posts:
JohnandMary · 24/03/2022 22:59

I couldn’t agree more.

Corblimeyguvnor1 · 24/03/2022 23:00

Yanbu.

See also - coaches whose whole business is about running courses to coach other coaches and never actually seem to coach any non-coaches.

HalloVegBot · 24/03/2022 23:01

I agree. Over lockdown a very good and old friend had a revelation about her life and is now a life coach. She sends me a motivational message every single fucking day, it does not motivate me, it makes me want to crush something into tiny pieces..

Nopetryagain · 24/03/2022 23:02

Every life coach I have ever met has a second job which doesn’t inspire confidence in their preachy nonsense.

Original poster
Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 23:05

@Nopetryagain

Every life coach I have ever met has a second job which doesn’t inspire confidence in their preachy nonsense.
The above person I spoke of does have a successful other business in a completely different sector. Her stuff comes across as very preachy and it's uncomfortable to watch as they took one small online course and now claims to be a pro who can coach.

Next time I hear something I might ask for references 🤣 to back up their spiel

OP posts:
Whitefire · 24/03/2022 23:05

I thought a 'life coach" was the MLM of the 20's. Lots of people are sucked into it.

Whitefire · 24/03/2022 23:06

*As a customer not as a coach.

Original poster
Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 23:06

@Whitefire

I thought a 'life coach" was the MLM of the 20's. Lots of people are sucked into it.
Very true!
OP posts:
Original poster
Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 23:07

Why do you think people are sucked in I don't get it? They probably charge more than a qualified therapist

OP posts:
Peakypolly · 24/03/2022 23:17

My DD has so far spent 5 years training to be a mental health specialist, her training (within the nhs) is on-going.
One of her school pals has just come back from six weeks in Mexico and is now able to offer life coaching. She states on her Instagram page that whilst therapists focus on the past, she focuses on the present and the future. Bollox.
I hope no one with a genuine mental health challenge pays for this type of counselling.

Whitefire · 24/03/2022 23:17

A lot of them were 'respected" within the MLM and aspired to. They appear to have done good (financially) so it is an honour to be able to get a nugget of their knowledge. If one can do what they did then one will also be rich.

Though the charge is less money and more selling their soul to the devil.

Mmmmmmbop90 · 24/03/2022 23:23

Im a coach so going to defend us a bit here…

I did a two year course to become one, passed multiple practical assessments etc. My clients seem to get a lot out of a course of sessions and I charge £75 an hour.

I would never coach someone with a mental health condition and make that clear in my ts&cs and code of ethics. I (and most other trained coaches) make it clear that we are not therapists or psychologists and don’t look back at the past, that’s outside our remit.

I’m sure there are lots of charlatans, but there are also some great coaches who help people take steps in their lives that they’ve been too afraid/unsure/unmotivated/don’t know where to start about before.

Original poster
Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 23:23

@Whitefire

A lot of them were 'respected" within the MLM and aspired to. They appear to have done good (financially) so it is an honour to be able to get a nugget of their knowledge. If one can do what they did then one will also be rich.

Though the charge is less money and more selling their soul to the devil.

Narcissistic springs to mind there
OP posts:
Whitefire · 24/03/2022 23:26

@Mmmmmmbop90

Im a coach so going to defend us a bit here…

I did a two year course to become one, passed multiple practical assessments etc. My clients seem to get a lot out of a course of sessions and I charge £75 an hour.

I would never coach someone with a mental health condition and make that clear in my ts&cs and code of ethics. I (and most other trained coaches) make it clear that we are not therapists or psychologists and don’t look back at the past, that’s outside our remit.

I’m sure there are lots of charlatans, but there are also some great coaches who help people take steps in their lives that they’ve been too afraid/unsure/unmotivated/don’t know where to start about before.

I actually feel for coaches like you who are committed and dedicated to the role, however unfortunately many have seen it as a quick, easy way to make a buck. The wisdom generally involves buying a happiness planner from them.

The MLM turned life coach are doing you an incredible disservice.

Original poster
Cheerios12 · 24/03/2022 23:26

@Mmmmmmbop90

Im a coach so going to defend us a bit here…

I did a two year course to become one, passed multiple practical assessments etc. My clients seem to get a lot out of a course of sessions and I charge £75 an hour.

I would never coach someone with a mental health condition and make that clear in my ts&cs and code of ethics. I (and most other trained coaches) make it clear that we are not therapists or psychologists and don’t look back at the past, that’s outside our remit.

I’m sure there are lots of charlatans, but there are also some great coaches who help people take steps in their lives that they’ve been too afraid/unsure/unmotivated/don’t know where to start about before.

As I said most don't have qualifications but you do which is good. You also state you don't help mental health conditions which is also good. I'm not saying all but it seems most unfortunately on the likes on Instagram and tiktok feel they call pull people from depressions, tell a person with adhd inattentive to stop being lazy etc. That kind of stuff grinds my gears. Especially as I'm in the depths of training in a NHS psychological field.
OP posts:
Lennon80 · 24/03/2022 23:27

It’s a load of old bollocks - I have three people on my Facebook who have started doing it - They are just people who have had depression in the past no other ‘qualifications’ as such. I wouldn’t want life advice from any of them frankly or anyone who wasn’t a multimillionaire from scratch. All this ‘best life’ bollocks.

Original poster
Cheerios12 · 25/03/2022 07:19

@Lennon80

It’s a load of old bollocks - I have three people on my Facebook who have started doing it - They are just people who have had depression in the past no other ‘qualifications’ as such. I wouldn’t want life advice from any of them frankly or anyone who wasn’t a multimillionaire from scratch. All this ‘best life’ bollocks.
Agree, I get if you want to help people because you've been in that situation. But to preach and say damaging things.

You can't just give psychological advice with proper qualifications.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheerios12 · 25/03/2022 07:20

Without*

OP posts:
SingToTheSky · 25/03/2022 07:41

Absolutely YANBU

Mmmmmmbop90 · 25/03/2022 08:56

Just to add - life coaches don’t give advice. That’s one of the benefits of a life coach! So anyone giving people advice and claiming to be a coach is a liar.

I’m actually getting cross reading these because they in no way reflect what a qualified life coach is meant to do!

TwoBigNoisyBoys · 25/03/2022 09:11

@Mmmmmmbop90 agree with PP’s…I don’t think OP is talking about genuine, properly qualified people like you. I do feel for you.

But I have to agree with OP. I’m not currently on Facebook, but this used to do my nut in! One particular user was advertising her life coach and mindfulness teaching/online life counselling sessions …now, I know her off Facebook and I’m genuinely not being horrible, but her own life is a bit chaotic, so I’d be reluctant to accept life coaching from her? I also asked her what her relevant qualifications were…2 short courses from a free online provider. I’m not knocking her for taking these course and trying to improver her life, but it seems bizarre that she now considers herself expert enough to impart advice and guidance to others 🤷🏼‍♀️

I dunno, maybe I’m just am old gimmer 🤷🏼‍♀️ I do however speak as someone with qualifications in advice and guidance, counselling, am due to complete a degree in mental health next year and I have a background in mindfulness spanning many years now…yet I still wouldn’t consider myself qualified enough to set myself up as a life/mindfulness coach.