To think this online coach/ life coach stuff is very irritating?

[Cheerios12]

Posting vague general captions or posting about their tough life but turned it around and so can you. Is it me or does anyone else find this online coaching culture annoying. Most have no training.

I've just listened to one saying OCD is a self sabotaging behaviour and you need to just snap out of this behaviour cycle.
Well no actually OCD is a mental illness that needs alot of DBT or CBT work that you can't just snap out of. How damaging are some of these peoples words.

I'm in the psychology profession, have trained so hard. Yet these online coach cowboys pray on people and tell them to stop making excuses or you can have whatever you want if you follow my advice

YANBU, there's a lot of bollocks out there. When it's not misleading or wrong, it is just saying very obvious stuff.

I'm sure there is a place for life coaching, but from people who know what they are doing, but it seems like a lot don't.

My ex wanted to improve his business so went to something like a life coach. Cost him a few thousand he put the motivational cd on in the car. It was the exact wording from the book THE SECRET but the guy had just made it into a cd with his voice. The cd was in a plastic bag no hard cover. And no it did not improve his business. Fyi I had the book it cost me£11.

@Margaretmatcher

My ex wanted to improve his business so went to something like a life coach. Cost him a few thousand he put the motivational cd on in the car. It was the exact wording from the book THE SECRET but the guy had just made it into a cd with his voice. The cd was in a plastic bag no hard cover. And no it did not improve his business. Fyi I had the book it cost me£11.

Wow. I can't believe he paid thousands for that. I also can't believe the person charged that much. Where do they pluck these prices from? Thin air?

I guess if you have the balls to believe you can drastically change someone life you will have the balls to charge thousands of pounds
And if you are looking for a lifestyle change you would probably think that the higher the fee the more professional the coach will be

Yanbu at all op.

But fair play to them, if they can find rich silly people who will give them thousands for some trite slogans... As dire straits would say, that ain't working, that's the way you do it, money for nothing.

I also, like some pp, have a friend who has failed at various jobs and been unemployed for a while before self styling as a life coach, no qualifications as far as i know, she would have mentioned. I kind of feel sorry for her husband who has to be the breadwinner while being "supportive of her business". I don't think I could respect my DH if he did that

@TheWayOfTheWorld

It's beyond irritating. It's also beyond me how people are suckered in by it and shell out £££. But they do

I think there are lots of people out there who peddle this stuff, they invariably have a large collection of crystals and think sticking the word “ceremony” after various class A drugs makes it ok.

Why do people do it? More and more people are struggling, access to proper help is difficult. Try accessing mental health help and you end up with long waiting lists etc. in a time where lots of relationships are superficial suddenly someone is “interested” in you (or your wallet).

Having spent years in various forms of therapy, there’s a lot of bad therapists and incomplete/inappropriate treatments offered within a profession who often ignore both somatic and spiritual aspects of therapies. It takes a lot of effort to find good ones and it usually helps to have supplementary therapy involving physical and spiritual release. There’s not always a lot out there, there’s minimal joining up with each part usually criticising the others. One of the best books on this is The Body Keeps the score. But the point is where a gap is left someone will always fill it with big promises and big fees. The psychology profession needs to widen its treatment to close these gaps.

Don’t get me started on “The Secret” it’s a version of a tiny part of various very complex systems which actually do help in a wholistic way but they need lots of work over decades (and I would be suspicious of people charging for this as most of these systems link into one that specifically state probono help) and often a long period of psychotherapy/psychoanalysis is undertaken first.

People want quick fixes to life long problems ideally with minimal effort from themselves. It’s why therapy often fails people want the therapist to do the work and wave a wand. It’s entwined with a lot of the new age philosophies.

My sil claims to be a life coach. She’s never had a successful relationship, doesn’t have a successful career, jumps between obsessing about various hobbies then dumping them and is generally quite unhappy. I have no idea why she thinks she’s qualified to call herself a life coach.

@omg12 completely agree with you.

Surely though they would realise a qualified person charges between 50-100 per hour. Therefore 1000s would seem crazy to pay?

Mental health is definitely in a crisis with the huge wait lists. These type of people are take advantage of this and unfortunately it could make it worse. When surprisingly the coaches advice/guidance doesn't work

@Mmmmmmbop90

Im a coach so going to defend us a bit here…

I did a two year course to become one, passed multiple practical assessments etc. My clients seem to get a lot out of a course of sessions and I charge £75 an hour.

I would never coach someone with a mental health condition and make that clear in my ts&cs and code of ethics. I (and most other trained coaches) make it clear that we are not therapists or psychologists and don’t look back at the past, that’s outside our remit.

I’m sure there are lots of charlatans, but there are also some great coaches who help people take steps in their lives that they’ve been too afraid/unsure/unmotivated/don’t know where to start about before.

I have heard before that you won't work with those with a mental health condition. Can you describe to me exactly how you ascertain if someone is mentally ill? Surely not everyone has a diagnosis but may be incredibly vulnerable non the less. I found this really difficult to get my head round when I heard this, and also did not like the inference that those with mental illness were not 'workable' with, under the life coach framework, as though it is some kind of elite gang. Ruby Wax said years ago that most of us are mentally ill in one way or another, I think this is a more real view.

[quote Cheerios12]@omg12 completely agree with you.

Surely though they would realise a qualified person charges between 50-100 per hour. Therefore 1000s would seem crazy to pay?

Mental health is definitely in a crisis with the huge wait lists. These type of people are take advantage of this and unfortunately it could make it worse. When surprisingly the coaches advice/guidance doesn't work[/quote]
Absolutely and I think some kind of regulation is called for. Unfortunately any work on mental health takes a lot of very hard work and often painful realisation. We’re used to an immediate gratification society. Others doing the dirty work. We’re so used to healthcare being free people often forget it can be accessed privately and there is an element of the more expensive the better.
We’ve lost many of the support systems, religion, extended family, life long friends and work colleagues - I suspect many are basically paying these people to have a friend they can control.
I 100% agree that using “alternative” methods whilst having unresolved mental health issues makes you extremely vulnerable. I’ve seen it a lot with esp young men with unresolved issues becoming entwined with conspiracy theories, drugs, anger issues, dissociation, masking etc by untrained people offering these “therapies”. Covid really opened my eyes to exactly who was in my yoga class😂

This of course is different to people who offer say a sounding board for organising your life etc.

@coffeeisthebest couldn’t agree more with you (and Ruby). I use a system for my own development (on different levels) which states you should undertake at least a years worth of therapy before starting. I think life coaches, or any work which might expose shadows/mental health issues/past traumas/issues should recommend something similar. It would make people less vulnerable and most likely they wouldn’t need the use of a random on Facebook, and if they wanted decent life coaching they would be in a better position to reap the benefits. You can have mental health issues and be in a position that enables really good growth rather than leaving you vulnerable,

I know 2 life coaches and knowing what I do of their own lives I wouldnt take the most basic advice or coaching from them even if they were giving it away for free.

It’s a completely unregulated industry so the “qualifications” around coaching mean jack shit as far as I’m concerned, not worth the paper they’re printed on.

I also know a “coach the coaches” coach and yes I agree it’s yet another MLM.

What is a 'qualified life coach'.

Who gives out the qualifications.

Is there a professional learned body you join?

Speaking as someone who sat exams for years for my chartered qualification. And who pays ongoing subs and CPD to maintain it.

[quote OMG12]@coffeeisthebest couldn’t agree more with you (and Ruby). I use a system for my own development (on different levels) which states you should undertake at least a years worth of therapy before starting. I think life coaches, or any work which might expose shadows/mental health issues/past traumas/issues should recommend something similar. It would make people less vulnerable and most likely they wouldn’t need the use of a random on Facebook, and if they wanted decent life coaching they would be in a better position to reap the benefits. You can have mental health issues and be in a position that enables really good growth rather than leaving you vulnerable,[/quote]
Yep. If you haven't stared in the face of your own shit you are not in a position to go anywhere near anyone else's. For me, a therapist is a companion as you work through your own stuff, a life coach infers that someone else 'knows better' which is bonkers in itself as there are no authority figures on how to live. We all just have to learn to navigate our own way, otherwise we will live as eternal children looking for someone to tell us what to do.

Coming back - with a hard hat!

I did my training with the coaching academy in London. I do 4 cpd days a year with a variety of providers.

Life coaches don’t give advice, and therefore don’t need to know better than you - in fact that’s the number one thing about a coach. They won’t tell you what to do, they won’t give advice as it would be unethical and dangerous to do so. Imagine the insurance claims!

Professional coaches will have completed a diploma in coaching, been assessed over a period of time, have regular supervision, be insured etc

Re the mental health issues point. I think I worded it badly, I won’t work with anyone on their mental health. So if someone came to me who was diagnosed with depression and wanted to work on ‘being happier’ etc I would decline and signpost to appropriate services. If they wanted to work on a business plan then that would of course be fine.

At no point does coaching stray into counselling. I dabbled in counselling training years ago before deciding it wasn’t for me, and coaching is a completely different skill set with different objectives.

It pains me that coaches apparently get such a bad rep! I would never claim to transform someone’s life, but I do have the skills to help them progress in their chosen path (be it work, relationships etc)

Someone I know got hit hard business wise so became a life coach for extra income. I see he had changed his business again now, and is now a Thought Leader.

I haven't a clue what that involves.

His background is in the restaurant industry so there has been no training that I know of to now be whatever a Thought Leader is.

I know someone who gave up a half decent job around the time of the 2008 financial crisis, in order to be a Life Coach and NLP trainer.

6 months later they couldn't get any clients, or another job in the same field, and then drifted doing casual work for the next few years.

I've said YABU but only because I've no idea why you are even listening to this stuff!

@thecurtainsofdestiny

I've said YABU but only because I've no idea why you are even listening to this stuff!

I'm not listening, it appears on my social feeds

@mmmmmmbop90

If coaches don't give advice or therapy - what do coaches do? I went to see a coach to help me plan a career move. I found it useless. I had a few ideas of what I wanted to do but needed someone to through the options with me. Instead I ended up listing whether working close to home was important for me versus a competitive environment...

Yanbu and I'm a coach. Like you, I trained hard and have a MA.

topcat2014
There are professional bodies - association for coaching and the international coaching federation.
Accreditation is fairly vigorous. The people on Facebook wouldn't be accredited.

But fair play to them, if they can find rich silly people who will give them thousands for some trite slogans...

People with money can still be vulnerable. I don't think someone necessarily deserves to be exploited because they're wealthy.

The life coaching industry really worries me. I work in a school in a pastoral role and over the last few years we've had a number of cases where parents of teenagers with Eating Disorders, Depression, self-harm and other serious conditions have eschewed the support of medical professionals in favour of "life coaches" who charge them anywhere from £75-125 per hour. These parents are desperate to help their child, understandably frustrated by lengthy NHS waiting times and scared about the future. So when someone comes along who is persuasive, excellent at selling themselves, exudes confidence and offers a 'quick fix' of course they want to believe in them.

Those on this thread saying "coaches don't give advice"...well, maybe they're not supposed to but some absolutely do! In some cases, they also actively discourage parents/children from listening to the advice of qualified professionals.

I was recently emailed by a "life coach" who is working with one of our pupils, basically selling his service to me, linking to his website and asking me to recommend him to other parents. On his website it mentioned that he was, amongst other things, "an expert in the management of mental health and wellbeing issues" so I called him and asked exactly what are his qualifications and expertise are. After a lot of waffle and he eventually admitted he has no qualifications or training in mental health but claimed he has suffered from Mental Health issues (undiagnosed) in the past and this makes him "an expert by experience". He rejected my suggestion that the wording on his website was misleading.

They aren't accountable to anyone and aren't breaking any laws so there's little I can do other than keep expressing my concerns and hope the parents eventually see sense. I'm sure there are life coaches out there who practice ethically and are doing valuable work but it's the lack of regulation, accountability and supervision enabling those that don't that really troubles me.

There are professional bodies - association for coaching and the international coaching federation.
Accreditation is fairly vigorous. The people on Facebook wouldn't be accredited.

But you can call yourself a life coach and practice, potentially with vulnerable clients, without accreditation, or membership to a professional body. That's the problem.

The MLMers turned life coaches are a disgrace. Is it not bad enough they've made money off the backs of other people now they're peddling a load of dangerous nonsense.

I heard one of these numpties was suggesting wild swimming in rivers. Yeah, Weils disease .