Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To get some money towards Sons Glasses

77 replies

ellebelli · 24/03/2022 19:54

My Son is 15, He has recently finished with his Girlfriend, there was some issue with her friends not being keen on him and wanting her to end it, I think there was a lot of jealousy on both sides.
They all go to the same school.
On Tuesday Son came home from School upset that his X GF Friends had pinched his glasses off him and ran into the Girls Toilets.
They told him they had bent the frames and put them in the Sani bin, Son did not go and try to get them back( said he couldn't go into the Girls Loos, nor did he tell a Teacher)
My Partner( who tends to deal with all the School stuff) Emailed his Head of Year to let her know what had happened.
We heard nothing back-So later in the Afternoon on Weds he Emailed again but directly to the Head this time, She did reply and asked which Toilet block it was...We have heard nothing since..
I know it will take awhile to speak to the Girls involved etc.
If we could get the Glasses back, even if the frames are damaged could still use the lenses and just get new frames..
Meanwhile my Son is struggling in lessons without his Glasses.
No one has spoken to him about it.
Are we really going to have to buy new glasses for him?? He has only had the damn things for a few weeks!!!!!
What would other parents do in this situation?

OP posts:

Curioushorse · 24/03/2022 21:57

Ah. Emailing the head wasn't ideal. It'll both make the situation more urgent, but also introduce another layer of administration, thus delaying it. Don't email the head. It's not their job and they'll just forward it to the head of year.

Essentially the head of year has had one day of dealing with this. If they also teach, that's not long enough.

To be 'supportive of the school' thus keeping the upper hand, while also fast tracking it and causing maximum disruption, I'd email the head of year saying you're concerned that your son can't see the board and so can he sit at the front until they've dealt with the situation? This'll mean them having to send an email out to all his teachers and meaning every one of them will have to change their seating plan and become aware of the problem. It'll be annoying, inconvenient, and make it a big deal. You could include an innocent line too asking whether it would be helpful if you contacted the police because of the theft.

(Just writing as somebody who's been a head of year)

Rekorderlig88 · 24/03/2022 21:59

Did you pay anything towards the glasses?
As all or some will be covered by rthe nhs

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 24/03/2022 22:15

@Rekorderlig88

Did you pay anything towards the glasses? As all or some will be covered by rthe nhs

Not all kids glasses are free. My child’s lenses cost almost £300. But also kit really the point even if they were free - her child is being bullied

justasmalltownmum · 24/03/2022 22:15

Former teacher here. I would have gone straight to the head the next day and had it dealt with asap.

oviraptor21 · 24/03/2022 22:22

NHS give one set of glasses per new prescription. Broken or lost/stolen glasses don't entitle you to a free replacement.

mintich · 24/03/2022 22:38

You can get a NHS voucher towards a replacement pair. But you will need to pay the extra amount again if they weren't covered by the voucher before.

gingerbiscuits · 24/03/2022 22:43

@Thewindwhispers

I’d ask the school if they have a way to recover the money from the parents given the theft happened on school site. Assuming that the school can’t help, I’d report the girls to the police for theft and criminal damage. Let them explain to the police and yheir parents how hilarious they are.

And buy some more glasses, this pair are gone. The sanitary bins may have been emptied by now, but even if you could get them back and clean and repair them (which is impossible but just for the sake of argument) would you really ask him to wear them to secondary school with all this class knowing where they’ve been?

And congrats to your son for dumping this psycho.

This!⬆️ And I would have kicked up a huge stink - immediately - in person or on the phone. Little b!tches owe your son an apology. And you need to have his back more, to be honest.

BabyofMine · 24/03/2022 22:49

As somewhere who has worked as a cleaner in a place with sanitary bins, we were not allowed to go in the sanitary bins at all, they are sanitary waste, only the company that came to empty the bins could do that. I’m all for normalising periods but there’s still a safety aspect to handling peoples bodily fluids! I can’t believe People would find it a possibility to use the glasses again. The humiliation would be ten times worse for him.

And as for people saying why did her not tell a teacher, talk about victim blaming! That’s exactly how bullying works, makes them so scared they are even scared to tell someone.

thirdfiddle · 24/03/2022 22:50

Someone over the age of criminal responsibility stole a valuable (and vital) item. Police. What they did with it after stealing it is not your son's responsibility.

But yes, you should have called school as soon as you heard, and son should have told an adult. Any other witnesses?

worriedatthistime · 24/03/2022 22:58

Whether the glasses were free or not is irrelevant the girls were mean and they should have to take consequences for bullying as that is what it is
If a boy had done this we would all be up in arms it shouldn't be any different because its girls on a boy
They sound not very nice and you wonder how many others they treat like this

worriedatthistime · 24/03/2022 22:58

Yes i would of called the school straight away

nancynoname · 25/03/2022 00:36

At this stage I'd just go straight to the police. The thieving bullies are over the age of criminal responsibility. Stress how useless the school has been. Personally, I'd have been at the school the moment I found out about this, raising a stink until it had been sorted to my satisfaction.

If my glasses had been stolen from me I wouldn't have been able to attend school.

And expecting your son to wear glasses (or anything) that have been in a sanitary bin?! Seriously?! That's beyond disgusting. Your poor son.

MarmiteCoriander · 25/03/2022 00:48

Why didn't your son mentioned it to any teacher at the time??? Was he just embarrassed?

I would have thought this could be seen as discriminatory on disability terms- what would happen if the girls had stolen someones leg brace or wheelchair? I'm also unsure why your partner just emailed?

MarmiteCoriander · 25/03/2022 00:51

I always assumed people had 2 pairs of glasses- just incase they get lost, sat on, damaged etc. I do- but realise not everyone can afford this. I would have thought that children get 2 pairs for this very reason though?

DearMallorie · 25/03/2022 06:53

Why didn't your son mentioned it to any teacher at the time??? Was he just embarrassed?

I don't know why 'just embarrassed' isn't a good enough reason. In secondary school there isn't always the opportunity to talk to adult one on one straight away. They have minutes between lessons to change rooms.

I've always assumed people had 2 pairs of glasses- just incase they get lost, sat on, damaged etc. I do- but realise not everyone can afford this. I would have thought that children get 2 pairs for this very reason though?

My dc's last glasses were £220. She's only has one pair at a time since she stared wearing them at six. She's never lost or broken any despite being very sporty and now being a 15 year old who does athletics competitively.

I can 'afford' ten pairs of spare glasses. I can afford ten pairs of spare shoes or a spare car in case someone steals mine but I haven't done that either.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 25/03/2022 07:02

@MarmiteCoriander

Children don't get 2 pairs anymore. I only pay £10 towards my sons but he's 9, I'm sure it will go up in price as he gets older

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 25/03/2022 07:03

Because he's young and has broken them twice already (in 6 months) I have paid for a spare pair at £39 . I couldn't afford 2 if they cost more than that though!

Lemons1571 · 25/03/2022 07:11

@MarmiteCoriander

Only if the parent pays full price for them. The nhs give you a voucher for one basic pair (usually one plasticky frame and no choice). Anything remotely better has a surcharge attached.

WhiteCatmas · 25/03/2022 07:11

Go to Specsavers, they have a wide range of frames or try Glasses Direct via Monsavingexpert.com they have substantial discounts.
Being a teenager is horrible :(

WhiteCatmas · 25/03/2022 07:14

I’ve always got free glasses, 2 pairs, for my child from Specsavers. They have a wide range, including metal. We can pay a bit more for more funky frames but it’s never actually been done as we always find something within the NHS budget. Even for a teen!
You need to find a better optometrist

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 25/03/2022 07:28

@WhiteCatmas

Go to Specsavers, they have a wide range of frames or try Glasses Direct via Monsavingexpert.com they have substantial discounts. Being a teenager is horrible :(

@WhiteCatmas it is currently illegal to sell glasses online for children under 16.

Both my sons wear glasses, one wears them all the time and has done since he was 5. The other wears them for reading. Usual cost is around £100-£150 per pair for the one who wears them all the time. The voucher is usually £39.10 toward the glasses and the range of frames in this category is limited. Ds also needs thinner lenses due to prescription and the weight of the lenses would have been painful on his tiny 5 year old nose and he has anti-glare and anti-scratch. It costs a fortune as he also has a cheap spare pair as he needs them to write.

Personally I would contact the police just to scare the shit out of the girls involved, at 15 they need to know that stealing is illegal which is what they did. I am assuming there is no CCTV in the school corridors.

resuwen · 25/03/2022 07:32

Both of mine wear glasses. With anti-scratch, anti-glare and thinned lenses they cost a fortune.

icelollycraving · 25/03/2022 07:38

You have no proof this happened, from the girls parents point of view. Making him wear glasses that have been in the sanitary bins would be beyond disgusting and he would get far worse bullying from that. I can’t imagine opticians would want to touch them either.
Be glad he is away from the girlfriend. Get him another pair asap so he can study.
The important thing is he needs the courage to speak up. A lot of boys wouldn’t about a group of girls as it would be embarrassing. I’m not condoning their behaviour at all but I wouldn’t keep emailing the head about the glasses but I might ask for their stance on bullying.

WhiteCatmas · 25/03/2022 07:40

@OnTheBenchOfDoom
www.specsavers.co.uk/offers/great-offers-for-kids?gclsrc=aw.ds&ds_rl=1289567&infinity=ict2%7Enet%7Egaw%7Ear%7E570641397002%7Ekw%7Especsavers+children%7Emt%7Ep%7Ecmp%7EUK_Bookings_SAAF2_Medium_Availability_Optics_Brand_Demographic_Phrase%7Eag%7EGoogle_Search_UK_Optics_Brand_Demographic_Kid_BMM&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0PWRBhDKARIsAPKHFGi8SEQ_8TsbEyPNtjU09FH6cmtC2ffHWHmC_zdAcmLXP1_ayL29OGIaAuLbEALw_wcB

At Specsavers, all glasses in our Kids’ and Teens’ £64 and £89 ranges are free with an under-16s’ NHS optical voucher. Your free pair will come with standard single-vision lenses with a scratch resistant UV filter. Plus, under-16s get a free NHS-funded eye test.

You also get two pairs and they will fix them for free if they get damaged.

WhiteCatmas · 25/03/2022 07:41

I don’t work for Specsavers, I should add.

Flip

1 2 3 4