Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be fucked off with this

103 replies

Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 10:38

I am a single parent to 1 and work part time whilst trying to increase my contracted hours to earn more and not be struggling. I do receive tax credits and housing benefit but not the max amounts, part of trying to move to more FT hours is so I don't have to claim anything. Coming up to Christmas I did some overtime and my housing benefit got cut drastically working out I'm about £170 a month down, this is being rectified as I was able to show the increased earnings over December were a one off and not a reflection of my usual take home pay.

Anyways, my dsis works part time, lives with full time working boyfriend and in all their combined earnings are perhaps 4 times mine. She casually mentioned that they'd applied for UC "just to see and boost their money". The application was accepted and now they're getting 80% of their rent paid and more money on top.

I know it isn't their fault they were awarded it but I can't help but feel really fucking annoyed by this. I did a tiny bit of OT and ended up properly screwed, they earn way more than I do, applied for a benefit they didn't need to boost savings and are pretty much getting everything handed to them and have bought a new car and are booking holidays... How is this right or fair?

I can't apply for UC as the legacy payments would stop and I can't afford to be down for 5 weeks, besides I don't want to, I want to honestly earn my way and want to get off benefits.

YABU - fair play to them
YANBU - It isn't fair

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 24/03/2022 10:54

Does your sister have kids and is there a reason she works part time?

Original poster
Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 10:56

@girlmom21

Does your sister have kids and is there a reason she works part time?
They have one yeah, her bf works days she works evenings
OP posts:
Member984815 · 24/03/2022 10:57

There's probably a reason she was entitled to it , maybe more outgoings . She applied and satisfied the means test .

Mangogogogo · 24/03/2022 10:59

Is there any chance your sister may have accidentally not mentioned her partner?
And op I feel you, not personally but I fight tooth and nail for my clients at work to get basic money to actually live off and yet others seem to get a lot with no issues (not their fault at all and I’m happy about it but shit, it bums me out)

Original poster
Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 11:02

@Member984815

There's probably a reason she was entitled to it , maybe more outgoings . She applied and satisfied the means test .
I understand that and I get that it isn't her fault but her rent is less than mine, her kid younger and they have a much higher income than me alone. I know I likely sound bitter but they applied to get more fun money meanwhile I'm penalised for trying to earn more and am scraping by whilst they're buying cars and holidays because of this cash boost and less rent
OP posts:
Orchidsonthetable · 24/03/2022 11:02

I’m assuming you’re both claiming what you’re entitled to?

Whatinthelord · 24/03/2022 11:03

I put YABU, but I mean you are being u about being upset your sister can claim UC. YANBU to feel annoyed at your financial struggle and lack of support.

I cannot understand why she would be eligible for so much if they earn so much more than you. I wonder if either you or her have missed something off the application. possibly like a pp suggested she maybe hasn’t mentioned her bf….I’d be surprised if 1 ft worker and 1 pt worker with only 1 child would be eligible for that much.

girlmom21 · 24/03/2022 11:03

We don't know how much you earn so 4x your earnings may really not be that much.

I checked previously what I'd be entitled to if DP and I separated out of curiosity and it was more than I expected.

1000yellowdaisies · 24/03/2022 11:06

On the one hand I think, she applied and was deemed eligible so its fair enough.

But I do not blame you for feeling annoyed by it all. It's supposed to be fair but some people do seem to be better off on UC than others.
I have a friend who doesn't work, 2 kids, husband works full time... shes told me she was pleasantly surprised at how much UC she was told she would be getting when she applied in 2020 and they are able to save.
That feels wrong to me as surely benefits are there to support you to live not boost your savings.
I don't blame you for being annoyed but its not like you can really say anything to her as she's not doing anything wrong.

MichelleScarn · 24/03/2022 11:06

Unless they've lied, they can't have that high an income to be entitled to UC? Or do you think that some people are undeserving of benefits?

Original poster
Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 11:06

I'm not sure about that but I wouldn't think so, I'd considered that perhaps they'd mentioned that his other dc lives with them too when they most certainly do not but I don't know and don't want to try and "dob them in" as such. I guess I'm just grumpy, I get penalised and end up worse off for actually working more and they fill in a few online forms already in a better position than I am and get considerably cheaper rent and nice new things as a result

OP posts:
Original poster
Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 11:11

@MichelleScarn

Unless they've lied, they can't have that high an income to be entitled to UC? Or do you think that some people are undeserving of benefits?
I don't think people are undeserving at all, I am on tax credits etc myself and am working towards getting off them, I do think it's wrong to apply for something you don't need and use the extra money and reduced rent to buy cars and holidays
OP posts:
girlmom21 · 24/03/2022 11:12

I guess I'm just grumpy, I get penalised and end up worse off for actually working more and they fill in a few online forms already in a better position than I am and get considerably cheaper rent and nice new things as a result

I get this. It's frustrating when you feel there's an injustice and you're being penalised for working.

I've got ex-friends who went part time after having children and claimed UC to make up the difference, and then basically suggested that they're a better parent for spending more time with their children than I am for working full time (hence the ex bit!) and it does feel unfair sometimes that they can do the day to day things with their children now, but we're focussing on the long term gain while they're thinking short term. It's what works for them and us but I do begrudge them getting benefits because they chose to reduce their hours sometimes

Georgeskitchen · 24/03/2022 11:15

I would be fucked off with this . I used to work with a woman who was single, mid forties, no dependent children. She only works part time and claimed the rest in tax credits.
( which I believe it was called then) I remember back in the days when if you were fit and well and capable of working full time, that's what you did.
Fair play to her you may say, but she used to come into work gloating about ut and piss everyone off.
It never made any sense to me as to why people were allowed to do this!!

AndSoFinally · 24/03/2022 11:17

If they're claiming UC, and you're claiming tax credits, have you had a look to see if you would be better off long term on UC? Some are, some aren't. I know you said it would be difficult to switch but might be worth it if UC pays more

AndSoFinally · 24/03/2022 11:21

The trouble with benefits is there's no way to oversee it on an individual level. Some will always qualify for more than others for potentially spurious reasons, and others will see this as unfair.

The only fair thing would be to get rid of the system completely so that everyone was on a level playing field and everyone had to earn everything on their own. This would be an unmitigated disaster for many, so I think we just have the accept the system we have 🤷🏻

Original poster
Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 11:22

@AndSoFinally

If they're claiming UC, and you're claiming tax credits, have you had a look to see if you would be better off long term on UC? Some are, some aren't. I know you said it would be difficult to switch but might be worth it if UC pays more
I have looked before and I think I would have been something like £40 a month better off... I'm trying to up my contracted hours in work (have arranged meeting with manager) and move off benefits altogether and looking for FT work elsewhere. My dc is old enough that they're OK alone at home for a while so can be flexible with working hours now, I couldn't be when I started my current job years ago
OP posts:
Danikm151 · 24/03/2022 11:24

You may be better off on UC, a lot of working parents are due to the taper rate changing.
You can ask for an advance instead of waiting 5 weeks.

YABU to begrudge someone getting UC when you refuse to apply for it.
I work full time and get UC, i was pleasantly surprised at how much I am entitled too. I don’t feel guilty and I pay taxi and NI and am just getting what I put in to the pot.

Original poster
Bintymcbintface · 24/03/2022 11:28

I am not out and out refusing to apply as such, it's more I can't afford to, I know you can get an advance but surely that just leaves you short the next month so isn't really helpful? I am only just getting by as I am now so any further dip for even a few weeks and my dc and I would end up hungry, cold and sat in the dark

OP posts:
Katya213 · 24/03/2022 11:29

It’s how the system works. Unfortunately it’s very unfair.

SartresSoul · 24/03/2022 11:32

I don’t know how it all works but I’m guessing neither of them earn very much and have large outgoings like high rent/mortgage and council tax. That’s the only way I could see any working couple eligible for UC.

DrManhattan · 24/03/2022 11:35

Don't compare yourself to others, its a fast track to misery.

Saladd0dger · 24/03/2022 11:36

Op we were the same on the old system. Stitched up on rent with overtime. We are massively better off on universal credit. Use the universal credit essentials website to calculate universal credit accurately. You may be surprised. You can choose how much of your advance to take when you apply. We took enough to cover a months rent and paid it back at £30 a month for a year. My friend took the maximum loan she could when she applied and pays something like £120 back a month. You will probably get more in uc so won’t miss paying the loan back

Redsquirrel5 · 24/03/2022 11:48

I can understand your frustration.

I would be like you and try to earn more and come off benefits. There are many people who wouldn’t. I have known a few people ( through my job) that have never worked. In some other countries this wouldn’t be acceptable.

CiderJolly · 24/03/2022 11:59

Check with benefit you are better off on- look at the result in detail because the calculators often include things like council tax reduction for example which isn’t money you will have in pocket as such.

If you will struggle to pay bills take the advance and ask for a good bank referral at the same time. Explain the advance won’t cover food too.

If you’re struggling you would be wise to make use of things like food banks anyway.

I completely empathise by the way- full time working single mum here- ex useless.

Swipe left for the next trending thread