AIBU for not liking my neighbours for this?

[Patienceisntvirtuous]

Backstory-I live in a small house on a quiet street near a village centre (not rural though). It's a private road, which I always took to mean you can't randomly park your car on it unless you live there or are visiting?

Please correct me if it means something other than that.
I get along fine with all my neighbours, no issues usually. I pretty much keep to myself but we exchange friendly hellos and have a chat if we bump into one another or are in our gardens, and as the street goes around in a sort of curve, I see my neighbours behind too

Both my NDNs and the neighbours behind, for every conversation we've had in the last few months, have brought up the topic of XXX.

I know who they mean-there's a man who lives somewhere further away from the village centre and walks down our street to get to the village, and then back again, usually with a bag of shopping. I see him most days so I assume he does it every day.

He looks a bit different, perhaps has some mental health issues or LD, walks a bit odd compared to most people, always wears something a bit like a shellsuit but not quite, trousers always pulled up high ,and we've seen him wearing odd trainers before. He always has a big cheesy grin on his face as he walks, and says a friendly hello very brightly if you greet him. I get no bad feeling from him at all. He gives the impression he doesn't want to stop and talk, always just smiles and carries on. He may also have no MH issues or LD and just likes to dress like that, so what?

One neighbour has said they are getting fed up of him walking this way, It's just as quick to walk to the centre of the village various other ways and why can't he do that. Another has said they're going to have a word with him 'as It's a private road'. Another has said they know where he lives and are going to start hanging about outside his house to teach him to leave this street alone, or try to 'wind him up' when they next see him.

I feel sorry for him. I have asked him how he is before, but he just grins at me and carries on walking,I'm not sure he knows what I mean or perhaps just wants to go about his day.

I don't think he is not 'allowed' to walk up this street just because It's classed as a private road, he isn't in a car. I did actually say that to neighbour once but they said 'Nobody else walks up this street' which is fair, they don't that I know of, it's not a known through route to anywhere, it just happens to be a different way to get from the main road to the village. I really don't want anyone having a go at him as he seems quite vulnerable. I don't like them calling him XXX either! I think we should be a bit kinder in this day and age!

I'm not very confrontational but It's making me look negatively at my neighbours for being judgmental, he's not doing any harm. Should I say something further to them or leave alone as I don't want bad relations. WWYD?

Thread title edited by MNHQ to remove disablist term

Your neighbours are disablist twats.

Your neighbours are arseholes. I’d make a point of greeting him so they can hear you.

They're bullies and yes, sad twats. He's not hurting anyone. Looking a bit odd is not an offence (yet). If you hear about anyone going to intimidate the poor bugger, tell the police.

The poor man. Your neighbours sound like twats.

Both police forces will have a vulnerability section, designed to protect vulnerable people. Perhaps you should ask their advice. No-one for any reason whatsoever should be called a XXX. Your neighbours are vile and I'd imagine telling them their potential actions would be illegal is your best avenue.

Thanks all, you've affirmed what I thought. I am going to stick up for him. I thought they were all decent, kind people before this. I've lived here about 3 years and although we're not 'friends' we've donated one another things we don't want, had nice chats-this was really surprising :(

You actually need to ask........seriously......just read what you've put!!!!!!!

@Ownedbymycats

Both police forces will have a vulnerability section, designed to protect vulnerable people. Perhaps you should ask their advice. No-one for any reason whatsoever should be called a XXX. Your neighbours are vile and I'd imagine telling them their potential actions would be illegal is your best avenue.

Good point, I guess I'd have thought they may not be able to do anything as nothing has actually happened (yet). But I will put it to neighbours if (when) it comes up again.

edited by MNHQ

@Tothemoonandbackx

You actually need to ask........seriously......just read what you've put!!!!!!!

Yes, you're right. It's just the thought of ostracising myself but you're right and I won't keep quiet from now on :)

He clearly feels safe walking the way that he does. He poses no threat and just needs to be left alone. Your neighbours really sound quite nasty and what they are proposing is I imagine harassment.

@quitefranklyabsurd

He clearly feels safe walking the way that he does. He poses no threat and just needs to be left alone. Your neighbours really sound quite nasty and what they are proposing is I imagine harassment.

That's made me think perhaps something bad has happened to him when he's walk other ways :( as we've not seen him up until a few months ago.

Even if the OP's motivation for posting this is good, it's not acceptable to use such a hateful disablist term in a thread title or in posts. Reported.

Do they object to anyone else walking down their road or just him? I’ve no idea of the legalities - there’s a couple of private roads near my house which I occasionally walk down and it’s never occurred to me that anyone might object.

Your neighbours are absolute arseholes.

Some private roads are still PROWs for pedestrians anyway - it's impossible to know without looking into the specifics of the road itself.

@TheRealMrsMac

Even if the OP's motivation for posting this is good, it's not acceptable to use such a hateful disablist term in a thread title or in posts. Reported.

She's quoting her neighbours though, what was she supposed to say? She couldn't be cleared how deplorable she finds it

Op, I was also going to suggest speaking to the police or social services that you think a vulnerable person may be at risk of harassment.

Wow, OP, sorry you share you street with such nasty, prejudiced folk. Calling someone harmless who walks along your road to get to the shops a XXXX is so nasty.
I’d definitely call them out on it next time. They should be ashamed of such vile, disablist attitudes.

edited by MNHQ

This is horrible. Your neighbours are vile. Poor bloke

@TheRealMrsMac

Even if the OP's motivation for posting this is good, it's not acceptable to use such a hateful disablist term in a thread title or in posts. Reported.

This is a bit stupid 🙄

Evening everyone - we can understand why folk want to discuss this subject. However the use of one particular phrase has understandably been reported to us as offensive and we've now removed it from the thread title and would ask folk not to use it in posts.

Thanks all.

Your neighbours sound vile, truly vile. I would call them out on their language at the very least.
Also, I didn't know private roads (as in ones with multiple residences on) were a thing.

They sound horrible. Thank you op for standing up for him!!

My first thought was your road was “safer” for him, hopefully just from disablist arseholes. And XXX was almost always some disabled person tolerated but victimised, not just someone a bit silly.
I can’t imagine why people don’t want anyone on thr pavement in front of their house (although I know they do).
If you’re not up for confrontation I’d go the other way, completely over the top smiley and soft voice saying “the thing is he’s safer walking this way and it’s important for maintaining his independence since he is so vulnerable to people with poorer judgement or education”, basically max passive aggression.

edited by MNHQ

Thanks @LivMumsnet.

Oh the irony of two pps.

Op you sound lovely and they sound horrible

Your neighbours are twats