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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is 32 too old to start a degree?

57 replies

Samantha312 · 23/03/2022 12:03

That’s all really. Tired of being in the job I am in and would love to go and get a degree? Anybody else done this with young children?

OP posts:

AwkwardPaws27 · 23/03/2022 12:52

Nursing is a good choice as there are plenty of jobs, but do think ahead about how you'll manage shifts (including night shifts) as you will need to do these on your placements. You should have some 9-5 community placements but you will have at least some on wards.
I did part of a nursing course (although didn't complete due to mental health issues) & a few people dropped out early on as they didn't have childcare for shifts.

tintodeverano2 · 23/03/2022 12:52

I did my degree at 30. I was the oldest but one on the course. There was one other lady in her fifties.

britneyisfree · 23/03/2022 12:56

Not too old at all.

However with nursing ( I used to work at a uni in the capacity of 'supporting' students) nursing is the toughest course for mums. You'll have to spend a year on placement doing 12 shifts and there won't be any accommodations for your children or childcare needs. I haven't seen if you have a partner but it's impossible to do without family support who can care for your children and have them sleep over for the days you're on shift.
Hopefully you have support at home but it will have quite an impact on you all from early on in the course and you say your children are still quite young.
Any other course and I'd say go for it, all doable and able to fit around regular childcare.

Original poster

Samantha312 · 23/03/2022 12:57

@girlmom21 he didn’t leave in the end. I have told him that this is what I want to do and he was supportive of me to give up work to do it. At least at the end of it I won’t need to worry if he pulls a stunt like that again

OP posts:

RantyAunty · 23/03/2022 12:59

I want to add that nursing doesn't have to be beside care.

There are many of types of jobs like administrative, research, health information or nursing informatics, nurse case manager, public health, GP office nurse, rehab nurse and more.

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 13:00

@girlmom21

You posted yesterday saying your husband had temporarily moved out, that you can't afford more childcare etc.

Being a student at 32 is fine. Being a student doing a degree that will require a lot of flexibility with an unsupportive husband who already resents paying all the bills is a massive risk.

It uses to be considered bad MN etiquette to cross reference different threads from the same OP.

Anyway, if personal problems or a split have led her to consider paths to financial independence, that’s a good thing.

Study will come with financial support for childcare etc.

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 13:00

[quote Samantha312]@girlmom21 he didn’t leave in the end. I have told him that this is what I want to do and he was supportive of me to give up work to do it. At least at the end of it I won’t need to worry if he pulls a stunt like that again[/quote]
Are you prepared to take the risk that he'll be supportive and not pull that stunt for the next 3 years until you're qualified?

You said yesterday he resents paying all the bills. He'll be paying for even more plus doing more childcare when you're studying, and you might not get financial support depending on his earnings.

BritishDesiGirl · 23/03/2022 13:02

@Samantha312

Do you not think nursing/midwifery is a good idea then?

Absolutely. You can do it !!

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 13:02

@Thoosa it's not bad etiquette to reference a post from yesterday where OP was discussing how much she needs financial independence. I recognised her username - I didn't go searching.

She doesn't have financial independence yet. That's the whole point.

It's all well and good saying "yes it's a great idea" and encouraging her but actually, in this instance, it's not.

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 13:05

[quote girlmom21]**@Thoosa* it's not bad etiquette to reference a post from yesterday* where OP was discussing how much she needs financial independence. I recognised her username - I didn't go searching.

She doesn't have financial independence yet. That's the whole point.

It's all well and good saying "yes it's a great idea" and encouraging her but actually, in this instance, it's not. [/quote]
Getting a career is the main way to secure financial independence, isn’t it?

It is in my world.

Original poster

Samantha312 · 23/03/2022 13:06

If I don’t take the risk I’ll be in an even worse situation if he leaves and I didn’t do it

OP posts:

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 13:07

@Samantha312

If I don’t take the risk I’ll be in an even worse situation if he leaves and I didn’t do it

Absolutely right.

Just plan well and I’m sure you’ll be fine.

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 13:07

@Thoosa of course it is - but she needs to be able to rely on his support for the next 3 years to do it. He was going to leave yesterday. I'm not sure it's the right time to trust him to be that supportive for that long.

greenjojocat · 23/03/2022 13:10

Would you consider a nursing degree apprenticeship? No debts and earning while you work? www.instituteforapprenticeships.org/apprenticeship-standards/nursing-associate-nmc-2018-v1-1

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 13:10

Quite honestly @girlmom21 I think your advice on this thread is bizarre.

If she does nothing, nothing changes.

Only she knows how she might get around the challenges.

FabFitFifties · 23/03/2022 13:13

You are not too old, life experience really helps in nursing,but a nursing degree is very difficult to fit in around childcare. Your recent experiences make me nervous, as your DP sounds risky in terms of piling more stress on you, when he has to be the one caring at home, while you do shifts. I worry you will start, and then he'll have a tantrum when demands on him increase. Do you have alternative sources of support? Why did you DP almost leave?

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 13:13

@Thoosa

Quite honestly *@girlmom21* I think your advice on this thread is bizarre.

If she does nothing, nothing changes.

Only she knows how she might get around the challenges.

I think the advice to rely on her husband for the next three years when he was doing to leave less than 24 hours ago is bizarre.

It's a great course for her to do but it'd be shit if she got 18 months in and he just upped and left.
Not so much for the money, she could claim UC etc, but the childcare would be really difficult while she was on placements if he decided to be a knob.

If she has a plan in place then fab. I just don't think she should rush into it.

yummyeclair · 23/03/2022 13:14

Not too old , lots of people did it on when I retrained. Just make sure your partner is 100% supportive at home with practical stuff and supporting you emotionally. Good luck!

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 13:14

I don’t think anyone HAS advised her to rely on her flaky DH @girlmom21

I’m going to stop replying to you now, though, because I don’t like the way you’re plopping all over OP’s ambitions.

RantyAunty · 23/03/2022 13:16

If support is not solid, I would do a technology degree instead.
No clinicals, 12 hour shifts. Takes less time.

be able to work from home anywhere. Make a lot more than nursing.

If you enjoy a good curtain twitch like I do, security analyst.
If you enjoy making things look nice and functional, UX Designer
If you can run a household, DC, and a DP, project manager
If you like breaking things and finding errors, test analyst
If you like solving problems and making attractive charts and graphs, Data Analyst

yummyeclair · 23/03/2022 13:18

Sorry hadn't read entire thread re husband. Maybe do Radiography which is shorter shifts and more flexibility. It maybe called Medical Imaging and available as working degree so get paid at same time I believe.

Original poster

Samantha312 · 23/03/2022 13:20

He said he was leaving and going to his mums yesterday but told me yesterday evening that was said in the heat of the moment. I am quite sure I can rely on him to support me or else I wouldn’t be considering giving up my current job to peruse it. I don’t think I am an idiot, this will be better for me in the long run as it has just made me realise that I can only rely on myself really

OP posts:

WheresZazu · 23/03/2022 13:25

Hi OP
I’m in my final year of my nursing degree. I graduate in September! Am a single mum to two kids (3 and 5). It’s been a slog and hard work but doable.

You will get a £5k grant plus a £2k grant for having children. Your partners income won’t affect this as it will with student finance.

I’d go and do it, half of my cohort are mature students. You have to do 150 hours of nights over the three years, maybe more depending on placement staffing levels etc.

Fairyarmpits · 23/03/2022 13:26

Of course you can!

I wouldn't go into it blind though. Get a job as an HCA. You could work up from there if you wanted rather than going back to uni full time.

JudgeJ · 23/03/2022 13:26

@Samantha312

That’s all really. Tired of being in the job I am in and would love to go and get a degree? Anybody else done this with young children?

I was about 32 when I started my OU degree as a way of counteracting being at home with babies! Kept me sane and they were so proud to come to my graduation.

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