To put DS3 in a pushchair?

[blancoss]

DS is 3, 4 in October. He walks everywhere now, we haven't used the pushchair in probably over a year. He sometimes goes in one when at childminder's.

Today I want to catch the train with him (usually drive) and then spend the day walking around a large shopping centre. He has a tendency to run off/complain of being tired and cry to be carried sometimes. I know that taking the pushchair would make life so much easier for me and DS.

I can also use it for shopping bags.

My friend thinks it's ridiculous having him in a pushchair at this age. AIBU?

@Nobodycarestakeitelsewhere

I wouldn't. He's too old for a pushchair.

Surely the fact that things would be easier all round if they used one on this occasion means that no, he is in fact not too old for one. If he was too old it would cause problems rather than make life easier. It’s not like she’s suggesting he use it daily but on a particular occasion for specific reasons. Also, he’s 3, not 7. Little more than a toddler.

Is there a specific age at which overnight it flips from being appropriate and helpful to NOT OK, just so the rest of us know?

What exactly would the consequences of using one when he is ‘too old’ be? Would he combust upon entry? Or would people gasp judge

Genuinely cannot understand making a decision like this based purely on the age of the child, like some arbitrary rules kick in overnight at some point, and not whether it’s a helpful solution that will make their day easier. Completely cutting off your nose to spite your face IMO. Literally who will be adversely affected by a one off day trip with a pram?!

I occasionally use a pushchair still for my 3.5 year old because we walk everywhere. Interestingly I find that the majority of people who are judgey twats about people using a pushchair past the age of two drive literally everywhere and then sneer at people whose child walks half of a long school run and then pops into the pushchair when little legs get tired. Their kids are getting far less exercise! Such a distorted perception of superiority!

@scandihouse

I often have my dd in a pushchair. I walk everywhere and like to walk quickly and she just couldn't walk as fast or as far. She's 4 next week so I see the cut off as being when she starts school!

There’s really no need to impose an arbitrary cut-off. It’s quite normal to see Reception children in a pushchair at the end of the day, especially if they are summer-born.

I would take it. You'll have a much better time of it if you do as he can walk a bit if he behaves or activate plan B if he starts whinging/playing up.

I've 3 year old twins, a pushchair is a must for if we're out all day or I just end up permanently carrying one when tired. Never crossed my mind people will think they're too old but then I don't care, whatever works for you do it and ignore the judgy pants brigade xx

I often take pushchair when 3.5 year old gets tired! Tell your friend they can carry your child in that case!

I took mine in buggy's occasionally until they were 4/ & took on holiday as she turned 5
Ignore the judgey pants

Is he NT? Just asking as running of was one of the earliest signs with one of mine who is autistic.
None of my NT children did it. Not normal for his age. In which case, using a pushchair longer is the safest thing to do when it is very busy.

Otherwise just get a granny trolley!

I am actively trying to cut down on pushchair use for my just turned 4 year old but I still use it on the school run if he's ill or poorly or if it's cold, and on days out. He was a delayed walker due to hyper mobility so can't walk as far as my eldest could at the same age.

Yes just do it I had 2 of mine in their buggies until almost 4

The NHS sleep recommendations for 3 to 5-year-olds includes naps. What do those people against buggies do for these kids at nap times on long days out? Force them to walk around like tortured zombies to make a point?

YANBU. Take the buggy.

@TinHatters

Is he NT? Just asking as running of was one of the earliest signs with one of mine who is autistic. None of my NT children did it. Not normal for his age. In which case, using a pushchair longer is the safest thing to do when it is very busy.

Otherwise just get a granny trolley!

Sorry what? Running is 'not normal' for a 3 year old?! Of course it is. My 3 year old is going through a running off phase at the moment and I know a lot of other people with 3 year olds who also do this.

Use the pushchair.

I do so with my 3.5 year old DD - the long and short of it is that she is far too big and heavy for me to carry now for long ( I'm 4'11'' and she is taking after her 6'1'' father in height). She tires after an hour's walk or so so anybody judging are the unreasonable ones.

I'm interested in this thread because my MIL has a massive bee in her bonnet about any child over the age of about 3 being in a pushchair.

My argument is that she raised her own children in the countryside, where she has lived for 45 years. Where she lives is so remote, she has to drive absolutely everywhere, even to get a pint of milk. She has very little need to walk anywhere, the only walking she does is for pleasure. Conversely, I think when you live in a city you are much likely (IME) to walk vast distances and spend all day walking around. My point is that different people have very different lifestyles, and perhaps your friend thinks it's "ridiculous" to have your child in a buggy because she doesn't actually do very much walking with her own child.

At that age they are TINY. their little legs are half the length of ours, so of course they're going to get tired much quicker.

YANBU at all.

Running, jumping, pretending to be a dog and whatever else , all normal obviously.

Running off when told not too is not normal. By then they know to stay with you. I have 6 children, and known an awful lot of 3 year olds. I've only known it in ND children at that age. By then they don't usually need reins.

Just suggesting something for OP to keep an eye out for. No need to have a bee in your bonnet! There's nothing wrong with having a ND child and absolutely nothing wrong with being aware or the signs.

I'd take it just for the bags tbh. He'd be lucky if he got a look in!

@TinHatters

Running, jumping, pretending to be a dog and whatever else , all normal obviously.

Running off when told not too is not normal. By then they know to stay with you. I have 6 children, and known an awful lot of 3 year olds. I've only known it in ND children at that age. By then they don't usually need reins.

Just suggesting something for OP to keep an eye out for. No need to have a bee in your bonnet! There's nothing wrong with having a ND child and absolutely nothing wrong with being aware or the signs.

Yes - running is typical 3yo behaviour. Bolting without any understanding or awareness of risk is not.

My 4 year old uses the buggy if I have to do lots of shopping - he loves it and makes my life easier!!

Its a little bit different but my son is autistic and at 6 years old even though he is fully physically capable of walking long distances (though gets tired due to hypermobility) if we are going to be walking a lot or going somewhere particularly busy I still use a pushchair. He has a disability pushchair now which is suitable up until 11 years of age. He walks to majority of the time but when things get a bit overwhelming for him is always good to have the pushchair there as a safe haven or a quick mode of transport when he is having a meltdown. Although we do get a lot of looks I really don't care.
At 3 years old I would have happily put my daughter who is not ASD into a pushchair for a busy day, shopping can get really tiring for a little one and it's good to have that crutch there to fall back on. I made the mistake of not taking a pushchair when we went to Disneyland when she was 4 and regretted it deeply as she would just reach points in the day where the walking and excitement all got too much and I we had to carry her around!

I used to use a pram sometimes at that age for DS. If we were going to town for example it's a 45 minute walk- an hour and a half walk with shopping in between and also me lugging bags about was too much. If it will make life easier then just do it.

No it's fine for a long day. My youngest is the same age and wouldn't normally use a push chair but we take one if we go to a theme park or similar.

I've only just got rid of DD pushchair and shes 4 next week. Used it for days out and holidays the last 12 months but its been handy. I'm actually dreading my holiday in August without one, it will be my first holiday in 10 years without a pram! What do I do with all the bags/beach stuff etc. And what do I do on the late night if she falls asleep? I may end up buying a cheap buggy

Of course it’s fine. My DS hasn’t used a pushchair since he was 2.5 BUT that’s because his sister was born then and took the pram and he uses the buggy board (which has a seat) ALL the time. He’s 4 in April. We’re in London and often have days out/public transport etc and don’t know what I’d do without buggyboard. Even when he’s not tired and well up for walking, sometimes you just want to be able to go at an adult pace and keep them contained.

Use a pushchair for as long as possible!! It really does make trips out so less stressful!

Oh God, totally reasonable. You see 3 and 4 year olds in prams all the time.

If friend is happy to come and carry bags and hold ds hand all day yabu
Otherwise do it. My dds used pushchairs until they 4 plus sometimes, and I took it to theme parks way longer!