There is nothing wrong with wearing red to a wedding

[LadyMaid]

Inspired by another thread.

Why do people feel red shouldn't be worn to a wedding? As a guest.

As a bride, with Indian heritage, I wore red at my wedding, and there were countless guests wearing red, and white, floor length gowns.

I didn't give it a second thought.

I have attended a lot of weddings over the years where red and white have both been worn.

In a traditional christian style wedding where the bride typically wears white, it's seen as inappropriate as a very secual colour when attention shouldn't be diverted from the bride
I come from a very Christian family with clergy going back generations. Have always attended church and had the most traditional of weddings. My mother is a massive stickler for all kinds of minor points of etiquette that bother nobody else and yet I know nobody who has ever suggested red to a wedding is wrong. My own mother wore a red and creak dress and a red jacket.

Never heard of this bollocks till today.

I never knew this was a thing. I’ve committed a fair few unintentional faux pas in my day if this is the case

I haven't heard of wedding guests shouldn't wear red but was told many years ago that, after WW1, it was thought unlucky to have white and red as wedding colours or in flower bouquets as it represented blood and bandages so was tempting fate

@DappledThings

In a traditional christian style wedding where the bride typically wears white, it's seen as inappropriate as a very secual colour when attention shouldn't be diverted from the bride I come from a very Christian family with clergy going back generations. Have always attended church and had the most traditional of weddings. My mother is a massive stickler for all kinds of minor points of etiquette that bother nobody else and yet I know nobody who has ever suggested red to a wedding is wrong. My own mother wore a red and creak dress and a red jacket.

Never heard of this bollocks till today.

but in the UK wearing white to be married in (or even having a new dress at all) was only popularised by Queen Victoria. www.mentalfloss.com/article/570824/queen-victoria-popularized-white-wedding-dresses

I don’t think this a widely held view. Nb in my experience of French weddings loads of women wear black - perfectly acceptable. And my wedding dress was green! Lots of silly old fashioned superstitions - just let it go!

Well that’s a new one on me!!

It means you slept with the groom? 😲 oh holy shit…I’ve worn red to almost every wedding I e ever been to…

Although I did wear floor length gold to the last one which I think is another no no probably!

@PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn

It gets worse as I read that some superstitions say guests shouldn't wear green to a wedding because it's bad luck!

Which leaves blues, peaches, oranges, browns, beige, purples and yellows I think!

Not wearing green to a wedding has been a thing for years. As in the term 'green with envy'.

Never heard of red being a faux-pas though.

Im assuming from your first post you mean wearing red to an Indian wedding, as a faux pas like wearing white would be if that was the bridal colour. I'm Indian (wore pink on my wedding day) but I don't think this used to be a thing but seems to have become one over time. Not sure why though, but yeah I try and avoid red (not that most brides recently at the weddings I've gone to have worn bright red like you used to.). Other than that I think any other colour is fair game, makes no sense to me as 99% of the the bridal outfit is so obviously bridal that you wouldn't mistake someone else in a red lengha for the bride.

@PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn

It depends on cultural norms I think. In a traditional christian style wedding where the bride typically wears white, it's seen as inappropriate as a very secual colour when attention shouldn't be diverted from the bride.

Obviously not the same meaning in other traditions!

Red is definitely not seen as a secular colour by Christians.

The Church sees red as the colour of martyrdom of saints and representing the blood of Jesus, therefore wearing red is a way of celebrating His Passion. That’s why you see Priests/Ministers, choir members and altar servers wearing red cassocks. Liturgically, red vestments are worn on Palm Sunday and Pentecost.

@PollyPutTheKettleOnKettleOn

It depends on cultural norms I think. In a traditional christian style wedding where the bride typically wears white, it's seen as inappropriate as a very secual colour when attention shouldn't be diverted from the bride.

Obviously not the same meaning in other traditions!

Nonsense. There is no such "Christian" tradition. Spent forty years inside the church and never heard of such a thing, ever.

I’ve just remembered when I was bridesmaid for a friend. There were 3 of us and we wore our own dresses - mine was green and the others wore red and black 😳 The couple are still married…

I think red is fine for a wedding. Although you should avoid wearing anything that might upstage the bride.

No white/cream/off white if bride is wearing white.

And not all in black - bit funerally. Could be interpreted as you are mourning rather than celebrating the union.

God I find these sorts of arbitrary rules utterly exhausting. Who has time or energy to get offended by something like this?

I can't get my head around "rules" like this. Who makes these things up ? At my wedding people wore whatever they liked, red and black were worn and nothing bad happened. Surely it's time to stop all these ridiculous "rules" which serve no purpose whatsoever.

I wore a bright red polka-spotted dress to two weddings. (same dress!)
I didn't know it was wrong, but I wasn't the most flamboyant one there anyway!

It wouldn't have bothered me at my own wedding, but I avoid wearing red to other people's weddings. It is a very eye-catching colour that distracts from the bride in group photos.

@GraceandMolly

Red stands out too much in group photos. I would always avoid red, black and white.

A bloody big ugly fascinator or hat is way more eye catching and “look at me” than a simple dress in any colour.

Plus group photos at weddings are very outdated now anyway.

Oh dear lord! A few years ago, DH was best man at a relative's wedding. I was told (and deeply honoured/grateful) by the couple that I would be placed on the head table with him (despite not being part of the bridal party).
I was extremely careful to not wear a blue dress to the wedding (bridesmaids were in blue, and I didn't want to seem like I was trying to be one of them, especially as I was on top table), so I bought and wore and lovely red dress, and matched it with a navy fascinator and shoes and bag, to compliment my DH's tie.
I honestly wasn't aware that no red was a thing, and I was sitting on the head table! Many years later, noone has ever said anything to me about upstaging the bride and I'm not aware of anyone saying anything about me behind my back. Did I really make a massive social error? (Ah well, not much I can do now).

I think a guest would have to be wearing a very unusual dress indeed, no matter what the colour, to ‘upstage’ the bride.

There’s a few people imagining they’re rather more attractive and eye-catching than they actually are, I fear.

The only rule is to not upstage the bride. The rest like not wearing white are just people being difficult. Look at Pippa Middleton, the royal family are gooood with etiquette. It's fine to wear any colour. Nobody is going to upstage the bride with those massive ballgowns being the norm nowadays.

I wore red as a bride. But there were no guests.

I think as long as people have made the effort to attend your wedding, are there to support you and celebrate the happy day then who cares?!! The post on the other thread that said ‘wearing red really isn’t the done thing’ just made me roll my eyes.

First time ever hearing this and I've been to over 40 weddings now including my own. Maybe it's a UK thing though? I live in Ireland and it's normal to get dressed up to the nines for a wedding.

Is this just one of the many stupid rules people make up in MN to ensure people approach things with trepidation rather than joy?

So long as you haven’t turned up in a bridal gown, it’s probably fine. And even then, it’s not that people will mistake you for the bride (given you invite people who know you to your wedding, and the whole set up makes it clear who us getting married whatever anyone wears). It’s that you’ll look like a bloody idiot and everyone will want to avoid you. So that would be embarrassing and uncomfortable.

Or is everyone supposed to be in shades of pastel florals like a 1980s Laura Ashley collection?