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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Terrible confession

223 replies

Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:22

I'm about to say something terrible. And I only say it here because you don't know who I am.

I have a DD who has a neurological condition which can fluctuate. Some days she can walk. Some she cannot. She has tremors, clonus, spasms, dystonia, tics, incontinence, fatigue and complex pain.

This came out of nowhere for her a couple of years ago. Like- boom- now you can't be "normal."

I get how hard it is for her. I really do. But she is so so demanding and I swear she sees me as little more than her personal servant. What really pissed me off this week is that I have Covid, I'm really struggling, my other two kids have Covid, DH has been away for work. She's been off school after a recent spell as an inpatient trying to manage pain around her spine. She is sending me messages like "Mum, can you come and help me move to a more comfy position" and "mum, I'm hungry, can I have noodles" and "can you bring me a cold drink?" But if I don't respond within a few minutes she'll do this relentless whimpering that's so loud you can hear it anywhere in the house. On every outward breath. And she can keep it up for hours.

She can get herself to the loo. She can get herself up to get some chocolate or to plug her phone in or get her laptop. That's no issue. But everything else she seems to want to be served, regardless of how active or inactive her condition is. And this is round the clock. When it's terribly bad, of course I am there, but I don't see that I need to be stuck to her like glue and indulging every demand when it's not!

Today I have said to her that if she makes that kind of whimpering "I'm in agony" noise when she's just being mildly inconvenienced, she runs the risk of not being believed when she is in agony, since people will be so used to hearing it it won't spark any concern. I also told her to be respectful of the fact that I have three children who all need my help at the moment and that I am pretty bloody ill myself, so please dial down the whimpering and the demands, it's not fair, especially when I can literally see she's done stuff for herself like getting chocolates and ice lollies etc.

She didn't send me a message all day and was getting herself about, then just now she's messaged me saying she's in unbearable pain but she's trying to keep it under wraps so it doesn't inconvenience me and her siblings, and she's starving so can I please make her some lunch. She's made herself a sandwich half an hour ago and she seemed fine then. I KNOW when she's in pain. I feel like she's maybe taking out her frustration of her bodily limitations by getting me to do everything? I don't know. She soon snaps out of her infirmity when friends come to visit! Obviously not on terrible days, she wouldn't be able to, but on all the other days where she communicates a sheer inability to do anything so that I have to do it all.... if a friend comes, suddenly she's capable of getting up, doesn't make the whimpering noise, will happily go and get drinks and snacks etc, will do makeup and things.

It's pissing me off and I don't know how to address it properly because she does have a condition that requires an awful lot of support and she attends a school equipped to give it. No learning difficulties, just physical ones. I can't see how to tell her I'm not her goddamn slave without upsetting her and potentially making more work for myself as huge relapses in her condition are often brought about by stress.

AIBU to feel pissed off and really worn down by it?

OP posts:
CoalCraft · 22/03/2022 14:29

How old is she?

Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:30

She is 14 almost 15

OP posts:
ODFOx · 22/03/2022 14:33

Your DD is a teen isn't she?
It must be awful for her being ill and being in pain.

She's also Milking it because as a teen she is hard wired to be self absorbed.
Can you try setting a timetable or giving her a lunch menu so she knows what she is getting and when. Then check on her at intervals. In between she just has to manage as best she can as you have to look after everyone else too.

Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:36

Literally just now I've had "can you come and find my remote control... oh, only if it's not too much to ask 😡"
And I know that's laden with sarcasm because that's how she is.

It actually is too much to ask, I'm sitting down for the first time today, I have no voice, my throat feels like I've had to gargle razor blades, the cough is so so painful in my chest and my head is pounding. She's now in the bathroom.... so why can't she find her own remote control?? It's things like this that annoy me.

Makes me feel like she's got the attitude of an entitled heiress and I'm her ladies maid.

OP posts:
cornflakedreams · 22/03/2022 14:38

Sounds like you haven't dealt with your own grief about what this condition has done to your life, but it's not fair to direct those feelings at her and allowed to cloud how you interpret her actions.

cornflakedreams · 22/03/2022 14:39

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washingmachines4 · 22/03/2022 14:40

We have seen this with a friend with Fibro (and what they put their immediate family through) - there are good days and bad days and the bad days are legitimate, however the demands are still there on the good days with no really understanding of the impact of everyone around her. She absolutely can look after herself on the good days but the expectation of slavery has been set, there is a lack of gratitude, just self pity of her hard life with no outside empathy. I don't know the answer, I feel for you. When you note a good day and think she is not meeting her ability for what she can do for herself then I think you need to repeatedly call her out on it and make her understand the damage she will do to herself if she doesn't. If she has muscle wastage from not getting up even on the days she can etc. that is preventable, if she has depression from having not done anything for herself to be proud of - then potentially that could have been minimised.

HotSauceCommittee · 22/03/2022 14:42

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Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:43

@cornflakedreams

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That's really unfair, you've no idea what this is like. I have a fever of almost 40 degrees, am Caring for two other kids similarly unwell and she keeps buzzing me to open a window she can easily open, or bring her her iPad from the other side of the room when she literally just got up and walked to the bathroom.
OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 22/03/2022 14:44

Could you introduce a scale of manageability? 1-10. 1 being fine Suggest she asks every other time she 'needs' something if her scale is over 5 only. Feel free to remind her you are firmly in the dm camp not maid if she is having an under 5 day. And if she is taking the piss call off visitors...

Sandinmyhooves · 22/03/2022 14:47

When is DH back? You really need some support. These are very testing circumstances.

ittakes2 · 22/03/2022 14:48

Did this come on suddenly when she became a teen? ie even maybe just before she started her period or after a growth spurt? Have they considered if she has POTS? Its an autonomic nervous system dysfunction which comes on during the teen years. If you have one of finger oxygen pulse testers which can take heart rate (about £20 amazon) or a blood pressure cuff - tomorrow morning when she is in bed take her heart rate and then ask her to stand for 3mins and take it again - if her heart rate goes up 30-40 beats when standing she could have POTS. Its very common but unfort not well known.

mathanxiety · 22/03/2022 14:49

You and your daughter need a therapist.

The learned helplessness is extremely unhealthy and not sustainable. Whimpering and passive aggression ('if it's not too much trouble') in the teen years are not acceptable regardless of her condition.

What does her school offer in terms of counseling for her? Could they refer the two of you to a counselor?

She has to learn to do all she can for herself and to stop keeping you at her beck and call, to get her stuff organized (remote control) and basically to explore whether she feels sorry for herself to a degree that is interfering with her emotional growth.

The dependence on you for things she could do for herself signals (imo) fears of being cast aside while the rest of the family gets on with life. You and she need to get to the bottom of the behaviour and to address it.

Find a therapist, and try to turn this around. What she is doing is not healthy.

Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:50

@washingmachines4

We have seen this with a friend with Fibro (and what they put their immediate family through) - there are good days and bad days and the bad days are legitimate, however the demands are still there on the good days with no really understanding of the impact of everyone around her. She absolutely can look after herself on the good days but the expectation of slavery has been set, there is a lack of gratitude, just self pity of her hard life with no outside empathy. I don't know the answer, I feel for you. When you note a good day and think she is not meeting her ability for what she can do for herself then I think you need to repeatedly call her out on it and make her understand the damage she will do to herself if she doesn't. If she has muscle wastage from not getting up even on the days she can etc. that is preventable, if she has depression from having not done anything for herself to be proud of - then potentially that could have been minimised.
Yes, sounds really similar. Speaking about good days only now, It seems that anything mundane or requiring a bit of effort when she's in the middle of watching a film or chatting to a friend can be delegated to me and expected to be completed ASAP, but if it's fun, A novelty or anything she actually wants to do, there's no obstacle. She will make sure she can do it. I support her to access as much as possible that she enjoys and she'd have to be struggling terribly to decide not to go to these activities, but she only has to decide she'd rather not get her own clothes or make her own breakfast and the default expectation is that I will do it.

I will do it without question on bad days because I know she can't. On good days, she should be doing everything she can even if it's mundane boring stuff like putting shoes on, even if it doesn't come with the reward of doing something fun immediately. I get no down time. I'm not even allowed to take ten minutes to sit down and feel terrible with this virus. And it's made me think, if I am expected to push on and keep going even when I'm vomiting and feeling like I might fall over with dizziness, why can't she be told that she's capable on days when she is? Why am I such a witch if I say "you'll have to wait" or "I think you should try and see if you can manage that yourself"??

OP posts:
Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:50

@Sandinmyhooves

When is DH back? You really need some support. These are very testing circumstances.
He's back at about 6pm. He did ask for leave to come back as soon as he knew we were unwell with Covid but it wasn't granted
OP posts:
whyisitsohardtochangemyname · 22/03/2022 14:51

It's clear that some of the people who have responded haven't had to deal with the relentless pressure of being a full time carer. If you were in a "regular" job you call in sick and get yourself well. In your carer role you have no option to be sick, however bad you feel you have to put somebody else's needs before your own and it wears you out body and soul.

OP I'm sending you big hugs and Flowers. It is not a terrible confession to feel too ill to deal with teenage needs. I have no doubt your daughter has a huge amount to cope with, I wouldn't wish it on anybody. BUT it's also ok to take some time for your self when you can. DD won't suffer from not having a remote control in her hand, she won't starve 20 mins after eating a sandwich. It's ok to say no, i'm too busy.

Natfemale · 22/03/2022 14:51

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Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:51

@ittakes2

Did this come on suddenly when she became a teen? ie even maybe just before she started her period or after a growth spurt? Have they considered if she has POTS? Its an autonomic nervous system dysfunction which comes on during the teen years. If you have one of finger oxygen pulse testers which can take heart rate (about £20 amazon) or a blood pressure cuff - tomorrow morning when she is in bed take her heart rate and then ask her to stand for 3mins and take it again - if her heart rate goes up 30-40 beats when standing she could have POTS. Its very common but unfort not well known.
Thank you, this has been checked. She doesn't, but I appreciate you taking the time to share that
OP posts:
AllyBama · 22/03/2022 14:52

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Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:53

@Natfemale

Ask her to help you. In three years time She will be an adult . She needs to practice being more self reliant, because if you wanted to ( I know you don’t) you could wash your hands of her once she is an adult.

But ask her for her help. Often we when we help other people, we feel better ourselves. Give her the agency to help you. If she does, you can thank and praise her.

That's a really good suggestion. Thank you
OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 22/03/2022 14:53

Honestly, it's not a 'terrible confession' that you're finding this so hard, especially as you're not well yourself.

It sounds relentless and draining.

She's old enough to understand you aren't her servant and she needs to learn to do things for herself as much as she can. And surely, some level of independence - within her capabilities - would be better for her both physically and mentally; something she's also old enough to understand.

You also need take care of yourself when you're unwell.

Yes. it must be incredibly hard for her but she can't be allowed to take advantage of you and expect you to run around after her all the time.

Adventurine · 22/03/2022 14:55

@whyisitsohardtochangemyname @AllyBama and others who have said something supportive and called @cornflakedreams out on the nasty comment, thank you. No, lots of people haven't a clue how relentless it is to be a full time carer as well as mum to two other youngsters who need time and attention as well. I'm so bloody unwell at the moment but DD is snarking at me over a remote control. I've said no, I can't at the moment, you'll have to find it yourself and she's now whimpering at high volume

OP posts:
Rosehugger · 22/03/2022 14:56

It's not terrible Flowers Your feelings are understandable. I'm glad you are getting most good advice here.

MindfulMarch · 22/03/2022 14:59

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ManAlive24 · 22/03/2022 14:59

I'd lose my shit at the whimpering. I'd go find the TV remote and then confiscate it until she stops acting like the kid in The Secret Garden.