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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour issue ....

62 replies

Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 08:41

Three years ago my neighbours back garden fence blew down (separates our gardens). 3/4 panels of 6 foot fencing ... It's her side, not mine.

I'm very house/garden proud and when I look out my window and see 3 panels gone and a broken up 4th that I've tried my hardest to manipulate into something that resembles a piece of fencing... It just makes my lovely garden look shit!

I know she's not poor, so it's not a money issue, it's a she can't see it because her shed is situated in a way that it's not in her sight line - but it's entirely in mine.

We get on fine, chat all the time, but for things like this, she's not approachable ... so I can't really say anything..

Am I being unreasonable to want the fence fixed now?

My fence blew down out the front recently when we had those really strong winds (currently our front gardens are one big garden and I hate it) and I'm having it replaced imminently with a bigger and better one... why can't she do the same?

OP posts:
R00K · 22/03/2022 08:44

What's stopping you putting your own fence up?

MrsMinge · 22/03/2022 08:50

Bloody hell, if it annoyed me that much I'd just fix it myself or just talk to her like an adult 🙄

KrisAkabusi · 22/03/2022 08:53

What has stopped you talking to her about it in THREE YEARS!? How is she supposed to know it's an issue if you never tell her!

Wrinklepicker · 22/03/2022 08:53

Just tell her you’re getting it fixed and ask her to pay half

DragonMamma · 22/03/2022 08:53

I just put my own fence up in front of it when the same happened to me.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 22/03/2022 08:55

You've answered your own question:

I'm having it replaced imminently with a bigger and better one... why can't she do the same?

She can't see it because her shed is situated in a way that it's not in her sight line

There doesn't have to be a fence on the boundary. If there is a fence it doesn't need to look pretty. All you can do is ask her if she is planning on replacing it and go from there.

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 08:58

It's HER fence - on HER property.
She's told me she'll fix it ..... many times, but nope.

Talking to her like an adult - that comment is absurd since you do not know her!

I am not expecting her to fix MY fence why would I go ONTO her property and pay someone to fix something that isn't mine!????? Is that really a thing... dishing out for someone else's fence? Don't think so. It's an eyesore .... it's looks shit.... surely after 3 years she'd naturally want it fixed?

OP posts:
Cisforcamel · 22/03/2022 08:59

Buy some geese and tell her they’ll be going into her garden if she doesn’t fix the fence?
Seriously I’d just fix it. Our Neighbours fence blew down. They said they couldn’t afford to fix it (they could), so we paid half, because I want a fence between us.

Nomaj · 22/03/2022 08:59

If she won’t fix it then put your own up inside your garden, just in front of the broken one.

RothRoth · 22/03/2022 09:00

Just put your OWN fence on your OWN property.

Cisforcamel · 22/03/2022 09:01

@Trisaratops
Is that really a thing... dishing out for someone else's fence?

Yes it is. See below. And we’ve paid for 2 other fences that aren’t ours….because I want a fence.

Cocogreen · 22/03/2022 09:01

Tell her you're getting two big dogs.

HELLITHURT · 22/03/2022 09:01

@Trisaratops

It's HER fence - on HER property. She's told me she'll fix it ..... many times, but nope.

Talking to her like an adult - that comment is absurd since you do not know her!

I am not expecting her to fix MY fence why would I go ONTO her property and pay someone to fix something that isn't mine!????? Is that really a thing... dishing out for someone else's fence? Don't think so. It's an eyesore .... it's looks shit.... surely after 3 years she'd naturally want it fixed?

But it's winding YOU up in YOUR garden, so get it sorted!
Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:01

She has way more money than me! I'm having to borrow money to fix my own.

Putting up one in front wouldn't be possible, otherwise that would have been my go to!

OP posts:
MrsMinge · 22/03/2022 09:02

Good God, calm down, it's just a fence
Just fix the bloody thing and do your blood pressure a favour

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:04

I'm really calm and my BP is perfect :-) .... just frustrated that it's not been fixed.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/03/2022 09:05

Just put posts and panels on your side on the boundary line. Then it's your fence not hers.

Our neighbours have gone halves with us when we've needed to replace panels that are our responsibility. Most people generally will.

NameGoesHere · 22/03/2022 09:05

Tell her you’re getting dogs! Big ones which do huge shits…

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:06

Plus it's 4 panels ... I have my own fence to fix, I'm doing the right thing, mending something of mine that is broken.....

Is it really too much to expect the same from others?

OP posts:
Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:09

I haven't asked her to share the £xxx cost to have mine put in...

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/03/2022 09:09

@Trisaratops

I haven't asked her to share the £xxx cost to have mine put in...
But your panels don't bother her.
ClaudiaWankleman · 22/03/2022 09:09

Talking to her like an adult - that comment is absurd since you do not know her!

The comment was about you acting like an adult. The way you are expressing yourself here isn't particularly adult.

The best thing to do would be to put up your own fence on your side of the boundary which you can maintain to your desired standard. Regardless of what it says in your deeds or who is supposed to maintain the boundary, there is nothing stopping you doing this.

AchillesPoirot · 22/03/2022 09:10

But you could just put a fence up on your side of the boundary. If it bothers you that much.

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:12

I don't do confrontation/animosity. Nothing to do with not being an adult. She's very fiery and I don't want to piss her off. It's called wanting to remain living in a peaceful environment.

OP posts:
OneShotOneKill · 22/03/2022 09:12

Tell her you’ll fix it and send her the bill if she doesn’t take care of it in 28 days