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Original poster

Neighbour issue ....

62 replies

Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 08:41

Three years ago my neighbours back garden fence blew down (separates our gardens). 3/4 panels of 6 foot fencing ... It's her side, not mine.

I'm very house/garden proud and when I look out my window and see 3 panels gone and a broken up 4th that I've tried my hardest to manipulate into something that resembles a piece of fencing... It just makes my lovely garden look shit!

I know she's not poor, so it's not a money issue, it's a she can't see it because her shed is situated in a way that it's not in her sight line - but it's entirely in mine.

We get on fine, chat all the time, but for things like this, she's not approachable ... so I can't really say anything..

Am I being unreasonable to want the fence fixed now?

My fence blew down out the front recently when we had those really strong winds (currently our front gardens are one big garden and I hate it) and I'm having it replaced imminently with a bigger and better one... why can't she do the same?

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 22/03/2022 09:12

It's not unreasonable to wish she would but it's been 3 years and since she has no legal obligation to you have to accept that she's just not going to do it so since you can't make her you either chuck the broken bits into her garden and leave it as is or you put something up yourself. Should you have to? No. But that's the reality. You want it done, you're going to have to do it..because it's clear she's not going to.

iheartmybeachhut · 22/03/2022 09:13

If I couldn't afford it or didn't want to pay for a new fence, I'd probably buy screening plants and hide the damage that way.
Some people just 'don't see' damage or rubbish, my former neighbours front garden was a complete tip for ages and passers by used to dump empty cans in her hedge. It never seemed to bother her as she would walk past it on a regular basis.
It didn't bother us as we had fast growing shrubs on ourside that we made a hedge out of so our side was nice.

girlmom21 · 22/03/2022 09:13

@Trisaratops

I don't do confrontation/animosity. Nothing to do with not being an adult. She's very fiery and I don't want to piss her off. It's called wanting to remain living in a peaceful environment.
You seem to do confrontation and animosity pretty well when you're anonymous.

Could you just say "I'm getting my panels replaced for a pretty good price. Shall I ask them to do a quote for yours while they're here?"
That way you're hinting without confrontation.

AchillesPoirot · 22/03/2022 09:14

@OneShotOneKill

Tell her you’ll fix it and send her the bill if she doesn’t take care of it in 28 days
She has no obligation to fix it and if you do this she has no obligation to pay.
WindsweptNotInteresting · 22/03/2022 09:14

What do you mean she's "not really approachable" about things like this? You say you chat all the time, you must be on reasonable terms with her. Can you not just say "sorry to keep going on about it, but I was wondering if you could get the fence fixed please, as it's been 3 years now. If you need the name of someone, I can pass you the details of the person who just did my front fence" or words to that effect.

iheartmybeachhut · 22/03/2022 09:15

@OneShotOneKill

Tell her you’ll fix it and send her the bill if she doesn’t take care of it in 28 days
Jog along neighbour would be my nice response if someone sent me that note tbh.
Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:16

@iheartmybeachhut

I have a huge honeysuckle running along our conjoining side - it's not quite there yet!

OP posts:
NeedAHoliday2021 · 22/03/2022 09:18

Let her know that from April you have a friend visiting regularly with a dog and you’d hate it to come in and dig her garden due to the fence not being in place. Find a friend with a massive dog.

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:21

@girlmom21

No animosity at all. Smile

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 22/03/2022 09:21

Neighbour would be more likely to point out it is the OPs responsibility to make sure their garden is secure. If a dog got out and bit the neighbour, who would be considered liable for not ensuring the dog couldn't escape?

Cheeserton · 22/03/2022 09:22

Have you actually studied her bank accounts then? You seem to know plenty about her finances.

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:23

@NeedAHoliday2021

I have a dog.... I've fenced off my patio so it can't go down the bottom of the garden ...

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 22/03/2022 09:23

Sounds like she's really got no intention of fixing it as she can't see it, and it obviously doesn't bother her. In your position I'd get some big screening plants in pots and stick them in the gap, even the hateful but very fast growing leylandii. At least you won't have to look out at an eyesore any more and as they are your plants you can move them and trim them as you see fit.

girlmom21 · 22/03/2022 09:24

[quote Trisaratops]@girlmom21

No animosity at all. Smile

[/quote]
Maybe the way you write just comes across differently to the way you intent Smile

I would hint at the replacement rather than ask her to do it. If you do the hard work of finding the workman she might be willing to replace them.

Our elderly neighbour left a panel space empty between her and us for ages because she couldn't be arsed to replace it and our little dog couldn't get through because we have a rose bush in the way. As soon as DP said he has a friend who can replace it for x price she agreed to get it done.

Canigooutyet · 22/03/2022 09:24

Over the past 3years I've had lots of various tradespeople cancel on me often on the day due to corona.
At times their waiting lists have been astronomical unless I want to pay exorbitant fees.
do as another poster suggested next time you talk give her the details of the person who is fixing yours. Or out something just inside your border, and this way it will fit in more with your garden.

And just because on the outside of appears she is loaded, doesn't mean she is cash rich.

ivykaty44 · 22/03/2022 09:27

Is it really too much to expect the same from others?

Yes, because there legally doesn't have to be a fence separating properties.

Your neighbour could take the rest of her fence down if she so choose and there is nothing you can do about it

If you want a fence then put one on your land, though im not sure why you've stated you can't do this?

MrMrsJones · 22/03/2022 09:28

She doesn't have to fix her fence.

If it bothers you, just put one up on your property

FAQs · 22/03/2022 09:29

I’ve replaced two lots of fences involving two sets of neighbours and we have always gone halves no matter who owns it because we both benefit, maybe I’m lucky?

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:30

@Cheeserton

It's very obvious. Her clothes. Her car. Her job! You don't work in London and earn pennies.... we don't live in London so it's cheaper here! So don't be confused that she's paying London house prices .. The woman is very very comfortable! Comfortable enough to replace fence panels. Comfortable enough to be driving around in a brand new BMW series 8!

OP posts:
Kego · 22/03/2022 09:30

She doesn’t care about the fence. You do. So get your own fence.

Original poster
Trisaratops · 22/03/2022 09:33

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I get I'm being unreasonable expecting too much.

:-)

OP posts:
MrsMinge · 22/03/2022 09:34

@ivykaty44 how dare you be the voice of reason Grin

LIZS · 22/03/2022 09:37

If you have a dog it is up to you to contain it, as you seem to have done on the patio. If she works in London and has a shed in front it won't be priority. Dh was never interested until he wfh. We have a double fence at bottom of ours. Our boundary but we don't really see it. Neighbour behind garden is at a much lower level and she has put her own where hers finishes. Gap between acts as a wildlife corridor.

ClaudiaWankleman · 22/03/2022 09:39

It's very obvious. Her clothes. Her car. Her job! You don't work in London and earn pennies.... we don't live in London so it's cheaper here! So don't be confused that she's paying London house prices .. The woman is very very comfortable! Comfortable enough to replace fence panels. Comfortable enough to be driving around in a brand new BMW series 8!

You're too invested.
She doesn't care about the fence, and she doesn't have to. You care about the fence so you should fix it. The cheaper prices in your area should soften the blow.

PAFMO · 22/03/2022 09:45

@Trisaratops

I don't do confrontation/animosity. Nothing to do with not being an adult. She's very fiery and I don't want to piss her off. It's called wanting to remain living in a peaceful environment.
From your posts on this thread, you sound like you'd be pretty good at both confrontation and animosity tbf.
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