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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Posting on social media...aibu?

50 replies

louiseonamoon · 21/03/2022 10:11

Up until a year ago my anxiety was really bad.
I couldn't work,leave the house alone.
I had lost 2 people really close to me (mum and gran) and my mental health wasn't the best.
I received counselling and have gone back to work part time.
I work 26 hours a week and at the minute it's what I can cope with without being overwhelmed.
I receive universal credit which helps me with my part time hours.
I've met a new partner 7 months ago and we are happy and have a lovely life.
He's made me want to be here again.
The weekend gone he took me to Edinburgh for two nights.
Stupidly I posted a pic outside the castle of us and tagged us in Edinburgh.

My friends brother (who is a alcoholic and probably was drunk ) wrote on my Facebook picture "you do well for scum on benefits "

I didn't notice till a few hours later and everyone will have seen by then.
I commented back that I work and thanks for taking such a interest in my life.
It ruined my trip.
I felt like scum
I haven't gone in to work today because I have been having really bad anxiety since we got back.
I feel like I shouldn't of posted that picture
I feel everyone will be judging me now
I just feel disgusting
Was I wrong to do it?

OP posts:
Returnoftheowl · 21/03/2022 10:13

Delete his comment and block him, this reflects worse on him than it does on you.

Branleuse · 21/03/2022 10:13

Wow. I expect people are more likely to think he is scum than you

Original poster
louiseonamoon · 21/03/2022 10:15

I deleted the comment as soon as I seen it.
I just feel like I shouldn't be out enjoying myself.
The ironic thing is my friend,her mum and his girlfriend are all on benefits as they don't work ..yet he has singled me out.
I do the part time hours as I can cope better but it won't be forever.

OP posts:
abigailsnan · 21/03/2022 10:16

Ignore him he has the problem not you sweetie,well done you for picking yourself up and returning to work sending you a virtual "hug"

DropYourSword · 21/03/2022 10:18

He's a cunt. Plain and simple.
Don't let him upset you at all. What he said was wrong. It reflects on him, not you.
You've done nothing wrong. You've worked hard on your recovery - don't let this idiot take any of that away from you.

Original poster
louiseonamoon · 21/03/2022 10:20

Do you think I should put a post on Facebook explaining I work part time and my reasons why?
Or just forget about it and move on?

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 21/03/2022 10:21

@louiseonamoon

Do you think I should put a post on Facebook explaining I work part time and my reasons why? Or just forget about it and move on?
Absolutely not! You have nothing to explain.
purpleboy · 21/03/2022 10:21

Wow what an arsehole.

Op I'd bet my life the people who saw that comment will be thinking he is the scum not you.

I hope you've blocked him.

Please don't feel shamed, even people on benefits are allowed a break FGS.

Pinksalty · 21/03/2022 10:22

No, you don’t need to justify yourself at all. I’m on UC, work part time and have a child. Your life is no-one else’s business.

purpleboy · 21/03/2022 10:22

@louiseonamoon

Do you think I should put a post on Facebook explaining I work part time and my reasons why? Or just forget about it and move on?
No way, those who matter know your situation, and those who don't, don't matter.
FabulouslyFab · 21/03/2022 10:22

I wouldn’t put anything else on. Those who care about you will be happy for you. Block anyone else. You don’t owe anyone an explanation 💐

IsDaveThere · 21/03/2022 10:24

@louiseonamoon

Do you think I should put a post on Facebook explaining I work part time and my reasons why? Or just forget about it and move on?
Forget it and move on (after you have blocked him!). You don't have to explain anything to anyone.
NoFriendsNoEnemies · 21/03/2022 10:26

I feel everyone will be judging me now no, they really won’t. They’ll be judging him in fact they will have judged him at the tie, and given it’s just facebook most will have moved on and forgotten about the entire thing anyway by now.

And no, absolutely don’t put any kind of explanations on facebook. How you live your life is your business. You don’t owe explanations to anyone.

FirstTimeSecondTime · 21/03/2022 10:30

Block him and move on, he sounds like a sad miserable man. You don’t have to explain yourself to him or anyone. Please don’t worry it give it a second thought.
Do you know the saying; those that mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.

Dita73 · 21/03/2022 10:30

He is an absolute bastard. Just block him. You have nothing to explain to anyone. You do not have to justify anything. You’ve done brilliantly for getting to the stage you have. Do not let this horrible piece of shit make you feel bad

ComDummings · 21/03/2022 10:33

I assure you, if I saw a comment like that on someone’s picture I’d be judging the person who made the comment and most people would agree. Please don’t let one dickhead upset you. You’re doing amazingly well, working and being happy in your relationship. Block, delete and forget about it.

Original poster
louiseonamoon · 21/03/2022 10:33

I think he is so miserable with his life.
You should see the things he says to my friend and his mum.
He blames the world for his problems.
He is a alcoholic so I know he is having it tough so I don't want to say too much but we all have it hard...he isn't pleasant

OP posts:
Original poster
louiseonamoon · 21/03/2022 10:35

I'm going to just try and forget and in the back of my mind hope not many people viewed it.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 21/03/2022 10:40

Do NOT explain yourself! You have nothing to explain.

FWIW if I was your FB friend and saw your post I would think "I'm so pleased the @louiseonamoon is looking so happy! I love Edinburgh" and I would think he was an arsehole.

Try and forget him (and definitely block him!) because he really isn't worth it!

Alrightqueenie · 21/03/2022 10:43

I'd have posted 'thanks for your comment, you alcoholic scum'. So the people who didn't know that he was an alcoholic would know and can judge him for it.

Titterofwit · 21/03/2022 10:49

Block and forget about him. His family wont forget that he has effectively called them scum too since they are also on benefits.

HeDidWhattt · 21/03/2022 10:55

Your over thinking this but I understand why, because it was a cruel and horrible thing to say. Truth is lots of people are on universal credit, which is a benefit, but some people don’t see it that way (rightly so) because it was implemented to sub employers and help their businesses grow, it has no reflection on society or atleast it shouldn’t do, but it is classed as a benefit.

If anyone saw it they will be thinking his a wanker, nothing bad about you!

Don’t post anything more, don’t even think about this anymore, it happened yesterday, that’s not today. Move on and enjoy the good parts of the weekend that happened, don’t let him get in your thoughts.

Christinatherabbit · 21/03/2022 10:56

I guarantee hardly anyone saw it and if they did would they really care? They are far FAR more likely to think what a dick he was! If you make any other comments it will just draw attention to it and it really doesn't need addressing. It's none of anyone's business. You get what you are entitled to. Lots of people get support and help for many reasons. Just keep focusing on your self and moving forward. Why should some nasty spiteful piece of work set you back? No. You have come to far for that. Delete the comment, block him and put it to the back of your mind. No one else will give it another thought

GingerFigs · 21/03/2022 10:57

Never explain. Those who know you, love and care about you and you have nothing to explain. He is the one who looks like a dick. I guarantee anyone who saw that would think he is an asshole.

You are doing great! 26 hours a week is fantastic after you've been through so much. Don't let this cock cheese effect your life. Don't give him any headspace. Hold you head up high and carry on and don't let him impact your work as it can be a negative cycle and you are doing so well.
People write crazy things on SM, it astounds me. Don't let this effect you and your partner, have fun and enjoy your life.

WhyMeLord · 21/03/2022 11:02

@louiseonamoon

Do you think I should put a post on Facebook explaining I work part time and my reasons why? Or just forget about it and move on?
If I saw his comment on a friends social media post I'd think 'bloody hell, what a colossal prick that guy is, poor louise having to put up with that, good on her for not rising to it'

No need to do anything more than you have already done, just forget about it. Easier said than done but honestly the only one who looks bad here is him.