AIBU to be hurt by this remark?

[betterdaysaheadforsure]

Or am I just a touchy menopausal woman?

Yesterday, I got up, walked dogs for an hour, went running with friends for 8 miles, made and tidied lunch, met friend for a dog walk, changed beds, thoroughly cleaned bedrooms and upstairs bathrooms, worked on PC for an hour or so, made and tidied away dinner, another little dog walk, sat down at 7.30pm to find remote control for TV not working, asked DH if he could get the other one as I'd been "on my feet all day". His reply, "no-one asked you to be on your feet all day"!

His day, gets up leisurely, round of golf with mates, sat in front of TV with wine/beer all afternoon and buggers off to bed exhausted at 8.45pm.

This is a normal Sunday for me, so am I being reasonable to be hurt by his comments?

YANBU. And he sounds like he feels guilty for not contributing to the household (at least that day).

I think I would have said “great, next weekend you do the chores and I’ll take my turn at putting my feet up.”

But it depends how you usually share housework. The seeing friends etc sounds lovely but he’s not wrong that you don’t need to martyr yourself doing 100% of the cooking and cleaning when there are two of you to share it.

Golf clubs make great weapons I hear....
Twat.
*obviously a joke as mn doesn't condone violence.

New patio? Always an alibi on mn though.
No wonder you spend so much time with your ddogs.

I’m on the fence here. He is speaking the truth presumably? If he was slumping around half cut you probably did sound a bit PA even if I would have said it the same way.

Why not relax a bit more yourself? Genuine question. Spread the chores out around the family and have some down time too?

Your mistake was justifying why you were asking for the other remote.
Just say, can you pass me the other remote please. If he asked, say it's not working.

The obvious comeback is I’ve thought about what you said we do need to divvy chores and cooking out more at weekends. If he’d rather go to pub for lunch not cook etc that’s something to discuss.

You both seem to do quite a bit of activity hobby wise at the weekend - but why is it only you doing the household jobs? When does he prepare meals or walk the dog?

Depends, is this a one off remark or one incident in a pattern ?

I'd expect a comment like that of I asked dh to fetch me the remote as I'd been on my feet all day dog walking (3 times?), socialising and doing general domestic stuff.

He clearly needs to do his share of bed changing and washing up though but yes yabu to be hurt by his comment it's more or an eye roll situation imo.

My dog would be knackered by a Sunday like that, let alone me.

It depends whether you said it in a martyred "see how much I have done today, why is nobody acknowledging my 8 mile run and extensive dog walking" way. I had an ex who would run or cycle all day on a Sunday then lie on the sofa wanting to be admired and fed grapes. I'm pretty sure I told him nobody forced him to exert himself all day.

I'm wondering now if he dumped me because his feelings were hurt that I wasn't more appreciative of his heroics 🤔

YABU. Sit down.

Yabu. I wouldn't want to have to get up and get something for someone else if I was comfy. I wouldn't ask someone else to either

But I thi knits entirely reasonable to split the dog walks and housework more evenly.

Basically dont run yourself ragged and then complain about it. If you arent happy doing the lions share then dont.

I don’t think that your day trumps his for exhaustion and therefore he should get up to get you the TV remote tbh

If this is a bigger issue whereby he refuses to walk dogs / do housework then that’s a separate point but you have chosen to do runs / meet friends etc!

You had been on your feet but a large chunk was doing an activity you chose to do (long run). Does he normally do his share of dog walks, housework, etc.? If so I’d let it slide, if not I’d use any further comments as the basis for a discussion.

My dog would refuse to look at me if I walked her that much 🤣

I'd reply that next week he can do the chores then.

You chose to run. Presumably you chose the dog walks too. The cleaning he's being a knob about.

As a separate point, what dog do you have?! Mine would be absolutely pooped with that much exercise

Sorry but it made me think of this 😂 I absolutely do this too and sometimes I need to relax and realise it doesn't matter. For me, it's a sign of anxiety

Erm... Yeah. You made your choices. That's a ridiculous amount to do on a Sunday.

As someone who lives with someone who is active most of the day on weekends I must admit I do see his point. My DP 'NEVER' stops - he will clean cars, go to the tip, tidy up the garden. Walk the dog, takes the kids to the park .....and the list goes on.

I love this about him and so do my girls but when he finally shuts off in the evening and sits on the sofa suddenly his legs don't work and I am asked to fetch coffee, snacks, slippers etc...

For context I am active too....I like to spend my weekends doing things with my girls and dealing with the housework and the mound of washing. Then when they are in bed I get my kindle and wine and relax.

I do get these things for him sometimes but It is really frustrating!

He’s being truthful though, most of your day sounds like you chose to do it. Maybe he though you were having a dig when you made your comment so he responded in kind?

You do more in one Sunday than I do in a week. Next Sunday, slouch around like your husband.

It all depends on your tone. Impossible to judge without knowing this. Though his remark is unnecessarily unpleasant, and the sort of thing my partner would say if feeling defensive.

Why didn't he walk the dog or do any food prep?