What is/was your 3 and a half year old like?

[Greatexpectations77]

If you have children/a child, what were they/are they like at this age?
Have a 3 years & 7 months Dd and worried her behaviour might not be *Typical ( not sure normal sounds correct 🤷🏻‍♀️)
She’s bright, funny, wonderful but very intense. She wants to play from the moment she wakes, never stops talking, interrupts when we talk to each other (Dh & 1) so we barely have a conversation, always wants to play with us constantly…it’s hard to just sit & relax etc.
She has phases of complete hyperactivity where she almost glazes over and just won’t stop what she’s doing, jumping around, on us, throwing things…it’s like in those moments, she can’t stop. At other times when she’s *calm, she can sit quietly reading, playing, watching tv, have a lovely conversation and so on,
She’s utterly exhausting and Dh and I are finding it so so hard. She’s always been fairly full on and energetic, but since she turned 3, it’s become so much harder.
Is this average behaviour or something more?

A beautiful lovely rascal who needs lots of attention.

And yes, totally normal.

Sounds exactly my DS 3.5yrs! I don't know why it's terrible 2s, that was a breeze compared to now!

@AthenaPopodopolous Ahh really, I have friends with girls a similar age and they’re so much calmer 🤷🏻‍♀️DD’s personality is amazing, I mean, she’s bloody funny and smart, but she’s a whole lot of person. We’re quite chilled and quiet and it’s full on!

@Strawberry0909 Yes def 😬she’s always been v high energy, but looking back I only remember a really bad tantrum (due to tiredness and an action packed day) at 2.5, it seems like a few weeks before 3, it revved up a gear and there’s no peace and everything’s a fight.

God OP. Mine is 3 and a half nearly and is a total pain. It’s my second and my first was NOT like this. He is stroppy, tells me to shut up when I sing in the car , always wants his way, sits on me whenever I touch the sofa. I used to think people were being satire when they brought up the fact their toddlers were huffy because they were given a green cup instead of the red cup they wanted and I see how wrong I was now. It’s extremely hard work. It sounds awful but I count down the days. In 18 months things will be vastly different.

Sounds exactly like my 3.5yr old DS. Didn't experience any terrible twos but this stage is hard work- interrupting, cheeky, very bouncy/physical in the house, needs a lot of attention and interaction. All completely normal and exhausting at the same time 😅 the naughty step is frequently visited but we just keep consistent on what we do and don't allow to make sure DS understands how to be safe (i.e. not jumping off the coffee tables!) and can behave with kindness and respect as much as a 3yr old can. We've got a star chart which is working quite well but some days are a total write off 🤣

She sounds wonderfully, exhaustingly, normal @Greatexpectations77.

@kego It’s so hard! So is it easier around 5 then?

@SleepingFrog Does he have bursts of high energy that are just bonkers?

@AllYouCanEatBrestaurant It’s a lot 🤣

My eldest (boy) was a breeze compared to my youngest (girl) and he's Autistic!

She sounds very much like yours and tbh still is at 9...

Also, how does everyone stay patient if you have a similar type of child? I’m usually pretty good, but these past few weeks I’ve felt like screaming and frequently head to the toilet to just sit & calm down 🙈
I’m going to bed feeling guilty and vowing to do things differently the next day

@DoucheCanoe 9 😬they calm from all the jumping on sofa’s/on us don’t they though, surely

Can't say I'm overly patient every day, often go to bed feeling guilty, think him starting pre school gives some breathing/recouping space!
hoping DS2 will be calmer!

A nightmare. Wanting our attention every second of the day. On my day off he just wanted me to sit on the sofa and him cuddle into me. When not doing that his constant refrain was “play with me”. Oh and the tantrums... and the hitting.. so glad he’s past that stage

@Greatexpectations77 my first was easier from 5 but he didn’t have the attitude my 2nd does… it’s all I have to cling on to

We’re pretty 50/50 parenting as our jobs have pretty equal hours so we make sure that we get our share away from the kids weather that be a dog walk or a bath mid day (sounds random I know but obv do what you want in the time you have) but that time to yourself is important. We do a park trip/walk with the kids every day. Pencils and paper at hand, garden play friendly etc. Are they in nursery? If you are concerned about their behaviour maybe try and reach out to your health visitor?

@Greatexpectations77 I've found my DS behaves differently based on who he is around so if my DH is home he will want to play rough or physical games with DH (probably because DH is always wrestling him, flipping him upside down, etc) whereas with me he plays more creatively such as with dinosaur toys because I don't naturally play fight with him. Our problem is he is very articulate and will listen to you explain something then come up with a great response as to why he's not going to do that 🤣🤣 we also get the strops when he doesn't get his own way which is great fun...not!

Wow. She sounds exactly like mine! Partly age mine also 3 yrs 7 months and partly personality I think - and totally totally normal! Mine is constantly talking or singing tunelessly at the top of her voice or shouting and yes me and DP or any adult cannot have a conversation. She’s super bright and full of energy and very very funny but by god v exhausting. I’m an introvert and she is definitely not! She loves constant company and playing with other kids etc.

Yes patience is really hard. Whenever I’ve shouted at her because I’ve lost my mind I’ve ended up feeling awful too - please don’t feel bad, we’re only human. I’m actually really sick atm so extra hard to keep up with her but my DP is pulling his weight more and we give her warnings and that works better - like: “this is warning 1 - mummy is really tired and she’s starting to get cross so please listen to mummy and go to bed/tidy your toys/stop poking the cat up the bum with a stick. etc.” warning 2: “mummy is about to get really cross and if I have to tell you again to stop there will be a consequence.” Warning 3 - I’m really cross now because you haven’t listened to mummy and you’ve hurt the poor cat. Consequence of time out etc and always follow through. It helps me regulate my own emotions too because I am signalling that I am getting crosser and crosser rather than repeating myself 17000 times and then suddenly losing my shit.

Leaving the room to calm yourself down is also really good. Honestly I’ve just cried in frustration before. Not easy. Try Phillipa Perry The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read if you haven’t … some good advice in there.

Also literal exercise like an excitable dog. Out every day when not at nursery running swimming walking playground whatever or just running in circles around the dining room table mine likes that atm … I pretend to time her to see how fast she can do it…

Mine is unbelievably stubborn and argumentative. Everything is a production: getting dressed, brushing teeth, using the toilet, etc. They all require several requests and lots of cajoling before they are done, and it drives me nuts. She has a hair trigger and will fall to the floor and wail over the tiniest perceived injustice. She is obsessed with me and wants me to do everything for her. She’s also incredibly sweet, funny and generous. I love her strength and confidence. But I am very tired.

This sounds like my DD who’s 3.4. She was a joy as a 2 year old and I would congratulate myself regularly on my gentle parenting that clearly worked wonders with her. I really enjoyed her company and found parenting her a breeze. I now spend most of my days shouting and clock watching for bedtime! It’s especially bad if she’s slightly tired, hungry, slightly too hot, or too cold or I ask her to do anything

My DD was exactly like this and still is at 7! She is exhausting but so bright, vivacious and hilarious. You just have to be quite firm when you need a break and set them up with a task or activity and tell them you are having 5 mins, if I heard 'muuuuummmmmy' once more today, I would have lost my mind.

It's okay to say no I'm in the middle of something or can you wait 2 mins as I'm just talking to daddy, it's rude to interrupt. I had to put this in place or I'd have gone insane (particularly as there is 16 months between her and her younger sibling). Also, nursery - put her in nursery for a break as you should get 30 free hours as she's 3. Lifesaver.

DC 3 years nearly 8 months here, exactly the same!!

They're a Leo so I just call it giving the Leo, main character energy!

Its a tough age though, v demanding. Do you do all the childcare?

@Questiontellme Yes 😩 Pre school in September (where we are they don’t start formal school until 6. I mean, we have lots of amazing days, but the hard ones…crickey

*Crikey