What is/was your 3 and a half year old like?

[Greatexpectations77]

If you have children/a child, what were they/are they like at this age?
Have a 3 years & 7 months Dd and worried her behaviour might not be *Typical ( not sure normal sounds correct 🤷🏻‍♀️)
She’s bright, funny, wonderful but very intense. She wants to play from the moment she wakes, never stops talking, interrupts when we talk to each other (Dh & 1) so we barely have a conversation, always wants to play with us constantly…it’s hard to just sit & relax etc.
She has phases of complete hyperactivity where she almost glazes over and just won’t stop what she’s doing, jumping around, on us, throwing things…it’s like in those moments, she can’t stop. At other times when she’s *calm, she can sit quietly reading, playing, watching tv, have a lovely conversation and so on,
She’s utterly exhausting and Dh and I are finding it so so hard. She’s always been fairly full on and energetic, but since she turned 3, it’s become so much harder.
Is this average behaviour or something more?

This thread is making me feel a lot better about my 3.5 year old daughter! I have had the same thoughts & it’s reassuring that we are not alone. Not much advice I’m afraid OP but I have done some reading around ‘spirited’ children which seems to apply.

Does she still have an afternoon nap so you can get a break? Also the "naughty step" is your friend! My dd at that age was quite full on so we went to lots of playgroups/toddler groups etc etc to tire her out/less pressure on us to "entertain" her etc She was an autumn baby so more than ready for school by the time it came round. I have no great words of wisdom but I have to say the older my dd gets the more I enjoy her. She does at least listen now, although not always agree, and school tires them out so less mania.

My DD was pretty much an angel from 18mo until 3.5. She was still really well behaved and sensible once she hit 3.5, but she developed a sassy attitude that still appears now at 8. Generally though, no complaints. Slept well, could take her anywhere, happy to sit and watch a film... Terrible eater but that wasn't anything new for her and still isn't. Couldn't play by herself but was content playing with an adult. Terrified of other children, which thankfully rectified in Reception. Overall, I'd happily go back and do it again.

DS is 3.5 now and... oh boy! He's a whirlwind. An angry, nonstop, clingy whirlwind. When everything is right in his world he's the most adorable, funny, bright, amazing kid. As soon as anything even slightly riles him it's awful. I adore him but he's the main reason that we're stopping at two children... He does sleep and eat well, however, which helps enormously.

My boy is nearly five but he’s been like you describe since forever. Loud, intense, demanding, hilarious, clever, lovely, persistent…

Wouldn’t change him for the world but 🤯🤯🤯

I take tablets for anxiety (predates DS being born) and tbh they’re my saving grace re not getting stressed by him. Thank god for them 😬

That’s probably not helpful.

Also I’m just trying to enjoy the ride right now because I figure he’ll grow out of it and I’ll terribly miss his omnipotent presence and constant loud gob 🤣

Ps I should have added mischievous to his list of dominant traits… very mischievous! But cute with it so he gets away with murder!

Sounds just like my 3 and a half year old boy. He is full of energy and just doesn't stop. I work fulltime, which seems like a break compared with looking after him at weekends!

My DD is 3y10m and is very similar! She also tries to stop DH and I talking to each other, I struggle to have a conversation with him these days as it's hard to talk to him when DD is awake and then by the time she's asleep we're both too exhausted!

For me I'm not entirely convinced it's normal behaviour, we have autism in our family (including my eldest DS and myself) and I'm seeking an ADHD diagnosis for myself. So I wouldn't be surprised if she gets some kind of neurodiverse diagnosis in future. And she does seem more intense than other DC of the same age whenever we are in a large group of children.

One thing that really helps is to keep her active and exposed to new experiences. I loved doing baby/toddler classes and she's always done at least one scheduled activity every day (barring lockdowns), and then spent time in soft play/playgrounds/stay and plays afterwards. Nowadays she's in nursery for 3 days and then does two classes (inc swimming, gymnastics, so very active) every day on 3 days, Saturdays are spent doing full days out at museums/big trips to tire her out. Time spent at home is just the beginning and end of the day really.

My ds turned 4 last week and he's so full on very energetic he literally never stops he's always flipping around, throwing things, play fighting asking for you to play with him then telling you off for doing it wrong. I honestly looked at him yesterday after he had done 60 min kick boxing class then played football /ran around for 90 mins solid and played in the garden and wondered what the hell I was going to do with him I kept thinking he had surely sneaked some caffeine or something. He also doesn't really play with toys nothing catches his attention he likes being out and about. This is going to sound awful but I can't wait for him to start full time in September as I'm sure he needs more mental stimulation and quite frankly I need a break. I have a 9 year old who is the polar opposite of him.

My oldest DC was incredibly full on and so intense until about 3-4 years and then he just mellowed and calmed down.
My youngest who is now 3.5 has always been lively but not that intense. She needs our attention a lot and is constantly doing something and talking to anyone who will listen but is happy to potter around quietly by herself as well. She doesn't really stop from morning til night but she's nowhere near as intense as our oldest at that age.