To STILL not want to downsize?

[toconclude]

Live in Victorian smallish semi - technically 4 bed but three bedrooms are singles and DH uses one as a study and always has. Downstairs bathroom which we've managed with so far.
Ongoing options are: convert one bed to bathroom so one on each floor - then as we get older would improve safety (currently average age late 60s)
Or downsize to smaller bungalow. In our town that means almost inevitably spending more money as land is pricey, and getting rid of DHs bulky Edwardian heirloom furniture
Also would lose my lovely neighbours of many years and my lovely garden.
Have already given both kids significant lump sum towards buying their own house.
A reaction to a comment in another thread about selfish boomers "hoarding" family houses.
Don't feel like a hoarder but maybe we are😳🤷

It’s always going to be a ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ decision. We moved to a new area (my offspring are located far and wide, so we tried to find a happy medium location). Our bungalow has 3 bedrooms, the master at the back overlooking our gorgeous garden, with a en-suite wet room, a 2nd bathroom, a double garage, and plenty of parking. Sadly, my DH developed terminal cancer within 2 years of moving, but our new home meant that caring for him at home until he died - his wish - was so much easier than it would have been in our previous home. There was also the most fabulous care team to help me in the last few very difficult weeks, which would never have been available where we were before.
I had to badger my DH a bit to get him to consider moving, but having done so, he agreed that it was a very positive thing. I know he would have hated leaving me in our old home, with so much more to sort through, as we had done a thorough clear out before the move.
I do know of others who decided to wait until a move became imperative, but then struggled to manage. It’s a stressful time anyway, so I thought it eminently sensible to move whilst still active and able. I can honestly say I have more friends that I can rely on here than I have ever had. Fabulous neighbours too.
There is no ‘one size fits all’ housing decision in later life, but it certainly pays to consider how you would manage if you become ill and need help.

We're definitely not downsizing... With adult children who now have their own children we need more space than ever! However we are future-proofing our home by putting in a downstairs shower room and ensuring that we could live downstairs if we have to. And we are getting rid of stuff we don't need and decluttering as much as we can so that when we eventually shuffle off out of life things are easier for those we leave behind. There is no way we can down size though.

I’ve never paid buildings insurance in my life

How did you get away with that? Mortgage lenders insist on it. What would you do if your house burnt down? Ours isn’t £150 a year, it’s more than £50 a month.

@caringcarer

DH and I don't know what to do next year when my youngest son leaves home. We have 4 bedroom with loft extension to 2 further bedrooms and shower room. There will be DH, and me who neither have good health and 1 foster son we ho will be 16. Not sure if we should downsize to 3 bedroom whilst still just about able to manage to do a move. We would still have spare room for guests or DH WFH for a couple more years. We do love the garden though and dogs love garden too.

Could you convert the loft extension to a self-contained flat to rent out? It would benefit you when you get older to have a "young person" around and give you a little extra retirement income at the same time.

The housing crisis isn’t the fault of individuals, it’s the fault of successive governments selling off social housing stock and failing to build sufficient new housing. I know plenty of young couples in 4 bed houses as well, are they not also “hoarding” if we’re going to be petty about? I think a lot of people are angry and want to lash out at an obvious target as it seems like a quick fix rather than hoping the government might do something to change the situation.

But if eventually you're just living on the ground floor, it's a waste, isn't it? What would you do with upstairs? I agree you don't have to think of that right now as you're still relatively young, but what's the point in four spare rooms upstairs being empty?

I think there is a real problem for the younger generation finding somewhere affordable to live, but that is the fault of the wider economy rather than the individual homeowners in OP’s position. Of course they will have made a fortune, but no-one will realistically sell at less than current market value so the problem will continue and there’s not a lot anyone can do about it.

OP, you should move for you, if you want to and can find somewhere suitable, and not because of randoms on the internet!

@Nothappyatwork

Have you owned your own house? If so, why have you never paid buildings insurance in your life?

The comment about people being in bigger houses than needed was referring to council/HA housing I assumed. I don't think it was inferring that people should start downsizing left right and centre. 🙄

Stay where you are happy. My parents downsized to a bungalow but the layout of the entrance hallway meant a stretcher could not be used as it had a sharp turn. You only realise things like that when you need them

@HollowTalk

But if eventually you're just living on the ground floor, it's a waste, isn't it? What would you do with upstairs? I agree you don't have to think of that right now as you're still relatively young, but what's the point in four spare rooms upstairs being empty?

What’s it matter? Why this obsession with people doing what they choose with property they’ve bought and paid for? Are you going to bitch about people who don’t own a car but have a drive and a garage?

I think house hoarding is more one or two people living in a house much larger than yours. My terraced house is technically four bed, but one bedroom is less that 6ft by 7ft, which I use as an office. Then my room which is a double, guest bedroom (mainly used by my 18 year old son) which is a small double and my daughter's en suite loft. When she leaves I'd consider moving only if I could get closer in to the city centre, but I'd still need at least one other bedroom and office space.
Friends of my parents lived in a house with 8 bedrooms and two huge reception rooms (each over 30ft long) until they passed away. However it sold for £7m so wasn't ever going to ease the housing crisis for the average family!

OP,

You should absolutely not move out of your home that you've loved, unless you want to or have to.

Blimey - stair lift, mobility scooter, hoist - eff me, the list of things some posters are saying you need to plan for 🙈🙈🙈

Let's put oxygen masks and hospital beds in every room and be done with it, shall we?

We considered preparing to downsize when youngest child leaves home but have now ruled it out. It’s a 3 bed semi with 2 downstairs rooms, transport links with and without car are fantastic so we have been old proofing” it. We are intending building a small extension for a shower/toilet on the side which will complete it. I was doubtful at first as I was keen on bungalow but I’m now really pleased. If you’re happy and get plans in place for your old age, stay put.

My mum has just sold a bungalow 4 bed and it’s lovely and bought 5 bed house which is bigger than mine and I have 4 children. I don’t grudge her or think she could sell it as i can’t buy a house that size.

I think if you want a bigger house they are out there. However I am in temporary accommodation so waiting for a 4 bed. However my eldest is 21 so won’t be living with me forever so I’ve asked for a 3, but the council aren’t keen. Yes people stay in their homes, these are people who have lived in those houses for most of their adult life. Family/friends are often close and it’s comfortable and familiar so course they don’t want to move far away from that or at all really!! I’d feel bad if my mum was forced from her home so my family could have it but there is a need for smaller bungalow type homes for people in areas that they are familiar with so it might free up some bigger homes. It’s horrible as despite waiting for 4 years I don’t want to think of someone losing their parent being the reason I get a new house.

Enjoy your house op, sounds lovely 😊

[quote Nothappyatwork]@Dreamstate - we lived in Australia for a number of years and bathtubs are definitely not the norm even in family homes purely because of the expense and environmental impact of frequent showers. I think with resources being at a premium showers are the way to go. Babies get bathed in a bucket[/quote]
100% with you unfortunately in the UK even if a person wouldn't have a bath if your house doesn't have a bath they will try and knock down your price. Absolutely ridiculous really.

I dont know about house hoarding but I do think you should think about how suitable your home is going to be for the various stages of old age and whether you can future proof it. So think about whether you could fit a lift or stair lift, upstairs bathroom, how easy it is (or isnt) to maintain, costs of heating. Is it a good area to live in once you cant drive?

One thing I will tell you from my experience is your 80s arent a great time to downsize because you miscalculated, better to do it earlier and make sure your new home/neighbourhood feels like a home, that you have some good years there. A lot of older people do get stuck in unsuitable housing living in a room or two whilst the rest molders around them and that's not great, either for them or the wider housing market.

I see us staying in this house and having grandchildren playing in the garden. It’s a 4 bed detached home. Not sure why when I’m old I have to live in a small house anymore than saying a couple who don’t plan to have children shouldn’t have a big home.

@Blossomtoes you must have a bigger house than me then …. I might get it but I’ve never had it before

So you have three singles and a double. You and DP have the double. One single is a study. Then you have two singles for when your children visit or for grandchildren or visitors etc.

Doesn't seem unreasonable to me. Why should you downsize? You paid for it.

Going up and down stairs regularly if you can makes so much difference to strength and overall health. The benefits of good neighbours and being able to spend time in a garden cannot be overestimated. I regularly visit elderly people in bungalows on streets full of elderly people in bungalows. I think it sometimes affects their outlook and they focus more and more on the drawbacks of getting older and their outlook changes. They are not always warmly welcomed by neighbours who have known each other years sadly. I find older people who are always around a mixture of ages, see children going to school, playing outside, people walking their dogs etc is much more natural and less isolating. You may never need to live downstairs: stair lifts have improved and can be fitted into narrow and awkward spaces now. I would future proof your house if you would feel better for doing that and hopefully you won't ever be in a position that you cannot manage there. Many people remain in their 'family home' throughout very very long lives and you sound like you are still a generation away from being very old!

The loveliest bath I can find is about two grand so they have 2 1/2 grand off to cover the fitting too at tops and I’ll leave a space for it I’m certainly not getting a bath.

[quote Nothappyatwork]@Blossomtoes you must have a bigger house than me then …. I might get it but I’ve never had it before[/quote]
It’s probably more expensive because it’s a very old house (built 1610) and Grade ll listed. Seriously, only a complete idiot doesn’t have buildings insurance.

I’ve never felt the need and with never had a fire or anything that’s made me regret that decision. But given its buttons it’s almost a case of why not.

@Nothappyatwork

I’ve never felt the need and with never had a fire or anything that’s made me regret that decision. But given its buttons it’s almost a case of why not.

Absolute madness not to protect your biggest asset. What will you do if it burns down, or a tree falls through the roof etc? You'd be instantly homeless.