Kids being left alone at parties? What age?

[Kage30]

I know it depends on individual child. But what age would you leave a child ag a party these days?

As a kid I can never remember my mother staying at parties - my mum was an over anxious parent too or any of my friends parents. Seemed to be drop and go 😅

Dd is 6 and year 2 so 7 soon. She has a few parties coming up and I intend to stay with her. She has some degree of sen too so need to stay. But what's the norm? Do the hosts want parents to stay?

Looking to host a party for Dd soon too. So want to know the Norm!

My main concern would be kids exiting through the main door. So feel like someone should be sat by the door the whole time!

Covid has meant we've not been to many parties and never held one ourselves!

Y1 here. Most of the kids didn't go to nursery together so reception year was an opportunity to chat to other parents and get to know people. Y1 I would ask if they needed an extra pair of hands and the answer would clarify whether the host parents wanted you to stay.

That said when DD was 9 there was a spate of park parties and parents stayed to have a drink/ socialise. Nothing to do with watching the kids, and wouldn't happen at a house/ trampolining type party.

Blimey, etiquette is different here! Reception year and everyone stays, unless one parent has offered to bring two kids. I’d say maybe 1/4-1/2 have both parents but we are a very social bunch and the parties cater for this many adults.

Shocked at the idea of expecting the host to accommodate both parents, that would be really rude where I am! An invite to a single dc doesn't mean a day out for the whole family!

DS (yr2) party was last week - clip n climb at local leisure centre. Out of 16 kids, 4 parents stayed. One explained her DS had SEN so wanted to stay and two parents I’m friends with so they stayed as as a favour etc. One stayed who brought 3 of the kids with her so I presume it was her turn on the birthday party run for those kids parents.

Don’t over think it. Say if you need to!

Year 3

@Lindaloo08

OP I'm in a similar position and want to ask another question I've been wondering tonight, if the kids are 7 and drop and go, are guest parents expecting hosts to organise extra people to manage the group or would you be okay with 2 adults managing about 14 kids?

A teacher manages 30 kids.

Sorry to highjack, but what's the etiquette about both parents coming to a party, is that excessive?

I think that would be seen as very rude if it’s a house party or at a small venue eg village hall. One parent staying due to SEN should be enough, if child can’t be managed/comforted by one parent I wouldn’t accept the invite.

I’d feel intimidated if both parents stayed for a party (unless I’d specifically put parents welcome on the invitation eg if I wanted to get to know people, and was actively encouraging parents I’d cater for them and have an area set up, my DH helping etc).

Remember most people don’t have huge houses so there might be limited space eg 2 of you would take up a whole sofa as opposed to one parent perched on the arm of a chair.

It would depend on the setting. House, 5ish (if I knew the parents) soft play/attraction, 7 or 8.

My Ds is 11 and I still stay for him but he has asd and is prone to get overwhelmed and have meltdowns. He had full time 1-1 when he was in mainstream and is now in specialist, I think if depends on extent of your child’s Sen and how they will manage, you also can’t expect other parents to understand how a child with Sen will react if they are only used to dealing with nt children

Where I live they all get left as soon as they start P1 so from 4.5/5 years old.

Y1 here and everyone stays, most parents like each other and its fun for us too. I expect it to continue this way.

At this stage in the school year - I’d say 5 or 6.

I made sure I had wine and offered parents a glass once they'd checked their child was settled. Pretty much everyone stayed!

I know England has one of the highest alcohol levels for driving, but please don’t offer alcohol when most parents will be driving shortly after. Home poured drinks are normally larger than one unit, which puts you over the limit in most other countries. Not worth the risk.

@TrashyPanda

At this stage in the school year - I’d say 5 or 6.

I made sure I had wine and offered parents a glass once they'd checked their child was settled. Pretty much everyone stayed!

I know England has one of the highest alcohol levels for driving, but please don’t offer alcohol when most parents will be driving shortly after. Home poured drinks are normally larger than one unit, which puts you over the limit in most other countries. Not worth the risk.

A lot walk if it’s a local house party, especially if they know wine may be on offer

It depends on the party. Some parties are in public soft plays during a normal session and I wouldn't be happy to leave my children unless we really knew the party parent (and tbh by the time you've got them there it's easier to stay and have a coffee).

It all depends on where it is, how well I know the parents, how well my children know the parents and how happy my children are to be left. My 4 year old can get nervous at parties and wouldn't cope if I left him.

In my experience most stayed in reception, a few in year 1, none by year 2.

Understandable that one parent may need to stay if a child has SEN but under no circumstances should you both go!

I'm surprised at parents staying for seven year olds ! As a child I'd have hated that. Surely as soon as they start school at 5 they are capable of being left. I must admit though, that when I hosted my kids parties when they were really small, I had at least another family member, sister, sister in law etc to help out

My 5 year old goes to parties with drop offs

Have an older child as well who is 8 this year, they are dropped off to - on the invites it states drop off party etc.

I did put this on an invitation once - drop off and pick up - it was just a very small party at my house
But one person said when they got here
'we're ok to stay aren't we'
I couldn't say no 🤣

My son recently had a party with 10 other 4/5 year olds (reception) . It was at soft play and all parents stayed.

Y1 age 6 you'd expect to drop and run.

It does depend a bit on the party. If the party is local, if they bring a sibling to entertain at the venue.

Age 5-6

Ds1 is in yr 2 so kids turning 7. I stayed at a recent party as he wanted me to (no sen but very shy), but checked with the host and was only 1 other parent there. I also know the mum to at least chat to. I think at this age they missed a lot of parties due to covid so are less used to it all.

Ds2 had a recent party (reception) and all parents stayed (unless they'd asked another parent to keep an eye). I think it's a nice way to get to know other parents personally and will be sad when they're both drop and go.

Surely as soon as they start school at 5 they are capable of being left.

Well yes but there's a big difference between leading them with trained professionals at school and leaving then with a random parent you might not know very well.

I’m happy to drop and go. Dc in reception but seems many parents stay, some both

Some hosts want you to stay as they don’t want to look after 30 kids and seem surprised you would leave

So a class of 30, you could end up with another 30/40 adults aka parents

Insane to me esp in a village hall, diff if soft play or farm etc

I have said for my dc party parents feel free to drop and go and enjoy 2hrs child free time

I understand some kids don’t like staying alone, but they do at school, and obv are with school friends they see 9/3 fir 5 days a week plus if they see other parents there they want you to stay as well

I get reception may stay but def not when 6/7yrs